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UKbride Member Request 29 Mar 2018

My H2B and I have been venue searching and after 18, we think we found the...

My H2B and I have been venue searching and after 18, we think we found the one. However the wedding coordinator isn't particularly friendly. Well actually she had a couldn't careless attitude and was quite rude on numerous emails. We're a very easy going couple and want a simple winter wedding in January 2020, but we'll still be spending over £10,000 so not cheap!! Compared to all the other coordinators who have been so warm, friendly and have wanted to give us exactly what we have wished for, shes really made us unsure on the rest of the venue. So how important are coordinators especially if you aren't having a planner? Is it worth forgetting about how perfect the venue is because of her? One of ladies we were shown round by was lovely, should we request her, or will that cause more havoc?

30 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 29 Mar 2018

Hi I would not go with this venue if the coordinator is rude she doesn't care about your feelings or about her job :)

Amy Glasgow
Amy Glasgow 30 Mar 2018

It’s your wedding and your day. I would request the other lady without a doubt. You want someone that is going to make you happy and you shouldn’t give up your dream venue for one miserable woman!

Kathryn Croston
Kathryn Croston 30 Mar 2018

If you don't like the wedding co ordinator don't use that venue. She will be with you every step of the way. Mine was lovely and went out of her way for us. Truly amazing and genuine. You want someone who cares about their job and the people they meet and doesn't look at it as just another wedding. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

Can you request to not use her? If you’ve looked at that many venues and this is the one you love I would check if you can swap or do without one at all and keep the venue? Worth asking, you never know! Good luck with it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

What area are you in

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

I would speak to the manager of the venue and express your feelings, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to loose a sale because of a rude member of staff, request the other lady but also be aware it's 2 years away she might not even be working there by then x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

100% choose a venue with good coordinator. The place we originally wanted everything from the prices to the set up was vague and over complicated. Went to view another venue after feeling a bit wary of the original venue and the coordinator made everything seem easy. This continued right until the wedding finished she was amazing! You need someone supportive if you’re paying all that money! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

Definitely go with a venue who has a lovely coordinator mine is lovely and she can’t do enough to help it makes it a lot easier

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

I couldn’t have done without my wedding coordinator, she was incredible. I was actually secretly pregnant on our wedding day, we announced the next day, and she went into so much detail to keep it hidden for us. Even emptied and sterilised a wine bottle and refilled it with nonalcoholic so I could be ‘served wine’ during the meal. She was under my dress fixing my hoop when it came loose, was just generally an absolutely vital part of the day. So I’d say see if you can speak to the venue and request the other person, the venue need to know that she could be costing them clients x

Michelle Sprules
Michelle Sprules 30 Mar 2018

I would complain to management about her and ask for the other lady. It's your day and you should feel happy and comfortable with the coordinator, not unsure

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 30 Mar 2018

Sometimes they’ve just had a rough day/week. Out wedding coordinator said we cheered her day up when we went. She’s amazing and does her job really well. Id go on another visit and see if there’s a change personally x

Celine Harland
Celine Harland 30 Mar 2018

We had a similar experience so spoke with banqueting management and switched coordinator. Some coordinators forget since they are doing this everyday that it is your 1 very special day

Sarah Mitchell
Sarah Mitchell 30 Mar 2018

Hi, I'm a wedding coordinator and it is important that you connect with them. I have been told by a lot of my couples that they have actually chosen our venue based on me. You need to be able to trust that your needs and requirements are met and communicated. You need to be able and happy to ask all the questions you need as you may have a lot. You want to know your day will be perfect and that is the person who will make sure it will happen. I go above and beyond for my couples, whether it is spending hours putting up their decorations, helping them put their dress on and cleaning up any hiccups on the day without the couple even knowing anything has happened. Do you trust that this person will do this for you?
I would let them know your concerns. Tell them that you want to book with them but you need to know they will be there for you. They may be able to offer some reassurance. And if they don't and still give a bad attitude then it may not be right for you. I hope this helps. P.s. if you want to get married in Cornwall I'm happy to help! 😃 xx

Suzanne Macdonald
Suzanne Macdonald 30 Mar 2018

That’s gutting. I’d not want to book that venue simply because of a rude coordinator, but I’m sure the owner/manager of the venue would be interested to hear your reason for not choosing them! If you are put off by one member of staff I’m sure other couples would be too!

Kerry Jones
Kerry Jones 30 Mar 2018

Venues and coordinators are a tricky subject! We booked our venue, the wedding coordinator was lovely and welcoming, the day we paid our deposit she seemed to not care... she left 3weeks later. We now have a new wedding coordinator, who still hasn’t contacted me! Any way, this isn’t my post to rant on, but it might be worth remembering that between now and 2020 the wedding coordinator for that venue could change. Good luck.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

One of the places I looked at had a coordinator exactly the same, couldn’t care less! And as soon as we walked out of there it was an instant no go. And the couple who run our wedding venue we’ve chosen are amazing, makes us feel at ease that everything is gonna be perfect. If the option of having someone else is there then definitely go for it, because it would be a shame to miss out on your perfect venue because of one person! So screw what havoc it would cause, request the other person!! It’s your day, and it what you want, and if the other woman doesn’t understand that then she’s in the wrong industry! Good luck! x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

Coordinators are very important. I would inform the venue management that you want the venue but not the coordinator and see what they say!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

You can read text on an email in 2 ways... Just remember that.

Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
Siobhan Knight-Potgieter 30 Mar 2018

Unfortunately wedding coordinators are your go to port of call for every wedding issue. I would see if there is management to contact as normally more then one person is available.

Found the same with some venues as I ummed and ahhed then when we chose I was probably the most annoying bride ever (as you say we spent a lot of money so wanted it how we wanted it)

Sometimes it seemed like the attitude was because we had seen lots of venues and couldn’t choose 🤷🏼‍♀️

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Mar 2018

We choose our venue because of the wedding coordinator. I would look elsewhere but let the manager know why you not choosing them.

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 30 Mar 2018

I’d have a word with the management tell them your concerns and ask for someone else, if that’s not an option then tell them you’ll go somewhere else. This is such an important day and like you have said not a cheap experience so your entitled to have someone that is going to be happy to be involved

Alison Smith
Alison Smith 30 Mar 2018

I can totally understand what you are saying but it is a long time away. Like someone has already said, they may change again in that time. We loved our venue as soon as we saw it and the events coordinator really helped in that however about a month after we booked it appears she has left. The new one doesn’t seem quite as organised. We still love our venue though and things could change again between now and August 2019 for us!

Sarah Pollard
Sarah Pollard 30 Mar 2018

Definitely request the lady who you liked if the coordinator says no ,
Then move venues as it is an indicator how tricky she will be to work with!
Warm wishes for your special day xx

Teresa Burns
Teresa Burns 31 Mar 2018

Ask for the other one that made you feel welcome. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 31 Mar 2018

hi it’s extremely unlikely this lady would be there still by the time you get married x just ask people on here how many coordinators they have had and you will see very high turnover job x we have had two already and been booked in 6 months this is fairly standard x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 31 Mar 2018

At the end of the day it’s your wedding and if you want something you will get it if you tell her that’s what you have in mind! I haven’t even spoke to my coordinator and I get married next year, I’ve told the venue what I want and how I want it and they are more than happy with catering to mine and my fiancé’s decisions considering how much we are paying for the venue! I’d speak to her and tell her exactly what you want and I don’t think requesting someone else would matter at all! Your the customer and the bride what you say goes!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 31 Mar 2018

Our wedding venue coordinator was awful and there were a few hiccups because of it. However they did not ruin our day and many were saved by our amazing wedding host that we hired. He was a dj that hosted weddings throughout also and he sorted some problems and got us more in compensation e.g. extra champagne on the day so worth considering if your set on the wedding but want some reassurance!

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 1 Apr 2018

I used to be a wedding coordinator and speaking from that side of things it is not an easy job! However I always tried to make the effort to be polite and be interested in what they wanted, but like anything else in life, some people just don’t click and it can’t be helped. She may not realise she’s coming across as rude, although I overall got very good feedback 99% of the time, one couple who I had considered one of my favourite couples to work with rated me low after their wedding and thought I never put them first or responded to them quick enough (whereas in actual fact I went above and beyond for them, further than I might of done other couples). I wouldn’t completely rule out the venue, if you are uncomfortable with the wedding coordinator perhaps speak to a manager and say you love the venue but feel uncomfortable with your current coordinator (you just don’t click) and would feel more at ease at booking the venue if someone else was looking after your wedding - it then at least gives them a chance to rectify the problem. For my own wedding I had the owner of the venue show us around first time as it was the coordinators day off, we booked and actually i didn’t overly warm to my coordinator the first time we met, a bit like you I feel like she didn’t really care. But then in my final meetings with her a month before the wedding she was absolutely fantastic and couldn’t be more happier, we had a great day. Don’t give up your venue if there is another way around it

Jayne Young
Jayne Young 3 Apr 2018

I would tell the manager of the venue, it sounds like she is affecting their business so they will do something about her! I would ask to only deal with the other lady, it's your day your organising and you don't need the extra stress of dealing with someone rude!

Amy Bickmore
Amy Bickmore 3 Apr 2018

There is a local venue that would have been perfect for our wedding but the coordinator didn't turn up for our first meeting, none of the staff knew where she was and there was a wedding on that day with a totally stressed groom trying to find her. She then cancelled our second appointment at very short notice so we just didn't bother going back.

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