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UKbride Member Request 20 Mar 2018

So I'm seriously struggling with my wedding plans and ideas. I'm estranged...

So I'm seriously struggling with my wedding plans and ideas. I'm estranged from my parents and don't feel like I can talk weddings with any of my remaining family. I have no maid of honour and my only bridesmaid is 12. My h2b has told me to do anything I want. I've tried to talk to his mother about it but she's set on a registry office and a drink at hers as I have no family to please but I've always dreamt of a traditional wedding. I'm really lost and almost just giving in and letting my h2bs mother plan it all.

26 Comments
Rachael Lee
Rachael Lee 21 Mar 2018

It’s your day! Don’t give in and compromise! Instead of family have all your close friends there!

Amy Vigor-Green
Amy Vigor-Green 21 Mar 2018

Do you have any friends you can talk ideas thru with? If it's a traditional wedding you Want then go for it. Contact your church and arrange a visit for you and your h2b to talk to them. Then why don't you both go and look at venues for afterwards.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

Plan for the wedding you want because you will only regret it if you don't. Feel free to pm me if you want someone to talk to about weddings.x

Hayley St clair
Hayley St clair 21 Mar 2018

I am also estranged from my family and at the start I was sad but now I'm like stuff them its their loss not mine. Plan for yourself not for anyone else. It's your day. X

Claire Beaumont
Claire Beaumont 21 Mar 2018

Don't dispair! I am in a similar boat. My H2B is estranged from his family, my parents live abroad, my brother and his wife live 5 hours away, and my sister is not interested and too busy with her own life so dreading wedding dress shopping (my wedding is 9months away)... But we are still having our day. Close friends and my family. You can always talk wedding on here?? I know it's not quite the same but people are always great with ideas on here and you pick and choose what you go with and no one gets offended xx?

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 21 Mar 2018

My mother in law to be isn’t interested at all in our wedding, changed subject when it’s mentioned and just wants us to get on with it. She thinks it’s to soon for us to be getting married 😂 my h2b says it’s probably because she’s been engaged for about 30 years and her and my h2bs dad haven’t bothered getting married. We told her that I am pregnant with our second child and she wasn’t happy and it’s unlikely she’ll be happy with anything but my h2b said just ignore it and carry on like usual, talk about it as much as you want etc Haha. On the other hand my parents are so excited and are paying for everything 🙂 x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

Regardless of the amount of guests/family you have attending plan your day as you want it, you'll regret it otherwise looking back hoping you'd done it your way.
Good luck with your wedding planning X

Sharon  Fowles
Sharon Fowles 21 Mar 2018

Snap... Theres more of our families not coming than there are coming... The way my mum put it is "those that matter will be there!" It is hard, my maid of honour & so called best mate dumped me after 14years friendship, around christmas too.. But i will not let it spoil my planning & excitement... Maybe you could comprimise with future mother in law.. Hotels do small weddings, or church followed with drinks at local pub or church hall or back at m-i-l's.. Important thing is you have the day you & groom want, cause its your memories your making... My first wedding was not how i would of wanted it at all. When i look back i regret not sticking to my guns more.. we had registry office, (1970s concrete building, in boring room,)& 10 Guests.. Drinks & sandwiches at my parents.. Then karaoke party in a back room of pub... ( i don't sing in public,) hardly any 1 else joined in & turned in to Best man singing most of the night.. & bored guests going into pub or even going pub nextdoor.. Best man was great just not to every1s taste..

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

No. Stop. You have to look back at this day for the rest of your life. My dad doesn't even know I'm getting married... my son is walking down the isle because I literally have no one, and even if I did, I'd still choose him, he's awesome. There's been plenty of raised eyebrows... my vicar has even said a lot of what we are doing is unconventional... but it's my day, and to be fair she's been very accommodating. This is your day. Do what makes you happy, my maid of honour is my sister, and I've still pretty much done everything alone (not moaning at all, she's amazing) yeah it's a pity I haven't had anyone to really share everything with, but I know I'm going to have the day I want. Don't settle for others plan, have your day, big or small, forget everyone else x

Jade Williams
Jade Williams 21 Mar 2018

https://m.facebook.com/groups/401809960264914 why not join this group 🙂

Gemma Harris
Gemma Harris 21 Mar 2018

No-one in my family are even remotely interested in our wedding because we are having a heavily themed wedding. They think we're crazy and just don't talk about it so I'm left to do everything by myself (with a little help from the groom). And I don't care. We're having the wedding WE want. If no-one else is interested then so what. I'd rather look back knowing we had our day and not someone else's day.

Mark Humphreys
Mark Humphreys 21 Mar 2018

First things first..... planning a wedding is the hardest thing to with family let alone on your own so,
make a guest list,
Find a place you love and see if they can marry you there, or do you want a church wedding
Pick your favourite colour and there's your colour scheme,
Do you want flowers???
What style of dress do you like,
(Buy wedding magazines they help loads)
Ask you h2b what's his thoughts on things your looking at e.g. colours flower church or venue?
This is your perfect day for the both of you.... good luck x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

I know it's difficult if you don't have a lot of family, but if you've always dreamed of a traditional wedding, go for it. Traditional doesn't have to mean huge. Sit down and have a think about what aspects of the traditional wedding are most important to you, and which bit's you'd be ok without. Sometimes ruling out the things that you DON'T want points you in a direction that you hadn't thought of before. We found that going to see venues was a big help in deciding what we wanted. I always said that I wanted to get married outside in the summer, but we found one venue that I realised I would be quite happy to do indoors in the winter! I'm finding inspiration a bit difficult because I don't want a traditional wedding, but there are magazines and websites like hitched and bridebook that can give you ideas. It also might be worth talking to a wedding planner. Some of them run an hourly-rate advice service, which might give you a few ideas. Good luck!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

Don't give in to the mother in law (to be), as others say, you'll regret it if you do. Compromise if you must but do what the two of you want to do. Share your ideas on chats like this. If you need a bit of extra support there are people like me who offer 121 planning assistance. Don't give up. You deserve a fabulous day however big or small. You've got this. Good luck x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

Please don't give in to your MIL. It's your wedding, not hers so please go for what you want! I'm not saying it'll be easy or anything and I feel for you, but you don't want to look back and regret it. Loads of places do packages for 30/40/50 people etc. Churches charge you a set price regardless of how many people witness your ceremony. You can still do it relatively cheaply if you need to/that's what MIL is worried about. Artificial flowers are a huge saving over real ones for a start. Ask for help on here as others have said.

Donna Milner
Donna Milner 21 Mar 2018

I'm getting married in a church it's our second time so we are doing what we want walking down isle to loving you Minnie riperton having a song to sign register to having a song to walk out to no organist no bells no hymes because it's what we want don't let other people put you off what you want on your day we are lucky as we run a pub so shutting for day and having someone to do a massive barbeque having grandchildren as bridesmaids pageboys very different from my first wedding and not to be funny I tell family what I'm doing and can't wait till July but do what you want to do don't look back on your day and wish you'd done it your way good luck and hope your day is special x

Mand East
Mand East 21 Mar 2018

Hun I know you’re pain but the key is do what you dream of not anyone else it you’re day I got a app that was free to download it called wed happy it help me

Bethany Hardcastle
Bethany Hardcastle 21 Mar 2018

im having a black and white wedding people keep saying its going to be gothic but its not i have planned mine by my self best off seeing what colour your wanting and do every thing else from there i old picked black and white cos my dress is that colour do it how ever you want no one else

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

Have what you want hunnie x you'll only regret it if you don't x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

Its YOUR day not your MILs. Have it your way.
If you allow her to.dictate now you.set a president for the rest of your life.
A simple church wedding is nice and a reception after at a venue YOU want .or a ceremony and reception at a nice small venue.
My son.and DiL only had 26 guests st their wedding and it was every bit as nice as a big wedding
Tel.her your.planning it not her

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

I'd go look at venues, preferably ones that offer packages (nobody has time to do it all as well, and often as cheaply as those who do it every week!) you'll know when you find the right one for you. Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, friends become part of your family and there is nothing wrong with that! Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

Traditional weddings are great but honestly if I could do it again we’d either go abroad or go to a registry office x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Mar 2018

UKbride Member 23 Mar 2018

Honesty this was the exact thing i did in my first marriage and i regreted it! At the time i had very cheap wedding at the registry office and reception at my Mum's. I have literally 2 family members and have same issue this time around, only this time i am having a beautiful traditional wedding with a wonderful partner who wants me to have the wedding i always wanted. I am only having one bridesmaid too and no maid of honour. Do the wedding you want your way :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Mar 2018

That's a bit strong we all can't wait for the wedding it only because you live far away and you have not told me your wedding plans dad

Joanna Pulleyn-Sked
Joanna Pulleyn-Sked 26 Mar 2018

Don't give in on your dream. Feel free to add me on fb and run ideas past me if you want.
Plan it how YOU want it.

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