Hey Just wanted to know if anyone else’s h2b is so disterested in planning the wedding? And is so uptight about the cost of everything? I’m finding it so disheartening how unsupported I feel with it all. We both wanted completely different weddings and he has said we will have the full works as he know how much I’ve always dreamt of it. But basically said it’s all on me, and he will literally just be turning up on the day. It’s really getting to me. To the point I don’t want to plan or even have a wedding now.
I know grooms tend to have less of a interest when planning a wedding but it sounds like you need to have a serious talk. It needs to be a wedding you both want and sounds like he didn't want a big wedding and has given in to what you want, so maybe sit down with him and compromise on some stuff so your both into it. I'd hate to plan my wedding in that position, all the best and good luck xx
Completely agree with Hannah... Best wishes.
Yes I also agree with hannah. The wedding should be something you both want
Agree with the above the wedding is the joining if yiu both so it needs to he something you both want.
tbh guys dont really dream about there wedding day like women do maybe try talking to him tell he how it makes you feel and tell him you want him more involed start him off with something small to chose and ease him into it hope this helps good luck
My husband was the same. He proposed and was happy to stay engaged for ever. 5 years passed with me saying are we getting married this year. For him to suddenly on a wim come home and tell me he has booked the church. I was gobsmacked. But that was it. Nothing else. It was hard getting him suit shopping or even having an opinion on anything else. Needless to say. The day was perfect just how I had dreamed. Weve been married 11 years now and hes still the same.
God I have the exact opposite problem mine wants his dream day and it's the opposite of mine really ,, we can't agree on one thing so it keeps getting shoved back and we will look at it again next year ( going on for nearly 10 years now ) and as for the money stick the word wedding in front of anything and the price jumps 4X so I have to admit it scares me the cost of everything, no advice but good luck with that ,xx
My h2b is the same, he just says do what you want it's your day. But it's not it's our day! I'm doing all the planning and making all the decisions. It's stressing me out so much. He said he would book the photographer, I looked into it myself found some great Ines and gave hime the info. That was 3 weeks ago, we get married in August this year and I'm worried we won't have a photographer x
We chose venue, theme, colours, photographer and budget together. After that it's all me - I'm good with that. He likes to see/hear about stuff but I couldn't imagine him choosing flowers or liaising with venue decorators etc.
I think the wedding itself is the least of your problems, if you’re already disagreeing to this level of unhappiness before you’re even hitched 😳 Listen to what this is telling you about the fundamentals of your relationship before you have the Big Party...
If it were me I would start to question whether there should be a wedding at all. It is both of your special day, you should both be planning it as a couple. Me and my fiance are, he knows exactly what we are having and we both have an active role in planning. Good luck
Yup! Then gets mad at me when I ask him to actually do something!
To be fair he utterly caved to you so you can have your dream day even though it's not what he wants? If you want him to be more excited try adding some of the elements he wanted to begin with? I don't see how you can have it both ways... You said he was clear about it being all on you if you wanted the big day! Make the choice, do you want a wedding or a marriage?
my other half isn’t bothered about the planning he just said he wants a certain suit a bbq and some nice gardens at the venue the rest is up to me. as long as you think about somethings he wants too to make it feel like a joint day rather than just yours he should be happier
exactly the same as you! trying to get him involved is SUPER difficult! he isn't interested....
My partner was interested in the venue and the type of wedding we are having!!
but anything else after he hasn’t been interested at all!! It actually feels like I’m marrying my mum at the moment she’s been great x
Talk to him even if he tells you what he really doesn't want it's better than you him think he can act like a guest
My hubby left it all to me. The only thing he did was the suits. TBH I preferred it that way 😂😂
I'm really lucky my h2b wanted a certain date which we have booked he has chosen our first dance song and will be sorting out his suits for his guys but as for everything else I'm sorting it but there again I'm a bit of a control freak so prefer it that way lol. I think you just need to have a chat with him to see if there are specifics he wants so he can get more involved but be careful what you wish for ... good luck xx
I'm in his position in the sense that I didn't want the big wedding, and I begrudge the cost too although I have done most of the organising myself anyway. I can see why he feels resentful because I have felt it myself, when the cost hikes up you do end up resenting the person who wanted the big wedding. Could you compromise? It isnt just your day, maybe he would feel better if you could come to some sort of compromise that takes into account what both of you want? Maybe he would feel more enthusiastic about it. My fiance has been very interested throughout planning and wanted to be involved in all of it so I am lucky, but when I have had meltdowns over the cost etc we have found compromises that mean he still gets to have the proper wedding with friends and family but some of what I want is included e.g. fewer guests than what he would ideally want (although still more than what I want haha) it must suck that he just wants to turn up on the day and that isn't fair on you...have a chat with him to see if there are any compromises you can make that will make him feel less resentful
My h2b is the same with certain aspects. There are certain things he really wanted to be involved with like the band, strings trio, venue etc. But things like favours, flowers etc he's told me he isn't fussed and I can do what I like. Thank the Lord for mum's and sisters 🤣🤣
I became quickly aware that my fiancé was saying 'that's nice' a bit too often without getting over involved, so we split the duties. He is taking care of the honeymoon, the men's suits, and organising the accommodation the night before for the people arriving early. He also chose the date, and we unanimously agreed on the venue. This has worked really well for us
Mine was also the same, he gave me free reign on everything as long as I stayed in budget. I did what I wanted and how I wanted and then annoyingly, with a month to go, he decided he had better put some input into it, so I ended up changing a few things to accommodate his wishes. Afterwards, he said it was the best day ever and was glad that I had a really good day and we have very happy memories of the wedding day. Typical bloke!
If it's both your days and you're bothered about making it special for both of you then there needs to be compromise so it is about you both. If you want it to be your day and everything you want not what he wants you need to suck it up and plan it yourself after all he isn't going to be interested in things as much as you as it isn't what he wants. He is already trying to make you happy by giving you your dream wedding not his so maybe you need to accept this as the most help you will get :)