Stephanie Sandall
Stephanie Sandall 25 Feb 2018

Anyone got a response for those dropping out of the wedding less than a week...

Anyone got a response for those dropping out of the wedding less than a week before the event? I feel nothing but anger about the lame excuses received from some cousins (they are ridiculous)! I need something more polite than “thank you for wasting my money”!!!

33 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

I had people not turn up on the day, don't worry or get angry, just enjoy your day

Amanda Boyd
Amanda Boyd 26 Feb 2018

We get married in August and I am dreading this, it’s so stressful trying to get numbers and costs right especially if u are on a budget, should be able to send them a legal binding invoice! Lol xx

Shakira Badwal
Shakira Badwal 26 Feb 2018

We got one couple that said they were coming and then didn't bother turning up on the day. Didn't let us know and 7 months on we still haven't received an apology. Don't think the realised that it was around £70 a head for the food. If it was up to me I would of billed them!!

Amy Jones
Amy Jones 26 Feb 2018

We got married in October and had this so tried as much as possible to fill their spaces. Still had 4 people not turn up on the day. To be fair 2 had reasonable excuses however the other two deserved to be sent a bill!! 😡 we lost £400 for the people not turning up on the day and ended up with another 2-3 people we didn’t really want there as we’d filled other people’s seats who had dropped out a week before. Nevertheless forget about it all and enjoy your day!!! Xx

Cathy McBrearty
Cathy McBrearty 26 Feb 2018

We are on count down for our wedding and dread this happening. Of course things happen and people have to cancel, but if there is no good reason, I would be tempted to invoice them.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

We had 6 drop out last minute at £50 per head, not only the money, if we had known earlier someone else could have come instead as we had to cut the list right down. People just don't think! Plus it messes up table plans and extra hassle cancelling their meals etc. Even had one tell me they were coming even couple days before then see they had gone away the day before on Facebook. Not much you can do really.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

I had people cancel the night before, on the morning of, and people just not turn up. You have to remember it will never be as important to them as it is you. Concentrate on who has made to effort to celebrate with you, not those who haven't.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Just ignore it and bump up some reception only guests to take their place

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Don’t worry about it. You won’t miss them on the day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Have a ' bump up' list of people you wanted for the day but couldn't afford and bump them up as people drop out. I bumped people right up to the day before.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

I had people drop out so I chose some evening guests n upgraded them to day guests so it wasn't a waste ! X

Zoe Holiday
Zoe Holiday 26 Feb 2018

I think your response is pretty spot on if they're excuses are really carp they might not be too them

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

I know someone who had drop outs the night before and day of making it far to late to invite others. You could have a list of people coming to the night time on a standby list. Probably best to pick people that understand why they weren't invited to the day to start off with. If i have drop outs I will invite more friends saying daytime was mainly family and a couple of our closest friends due to cost and number and o know people will understand that.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

This is terrible. Unless they had a really good excuse I’d prob not want to talk to them again
I was really lucky and all my day guests (63) stuck to their word and turned up and my evening was just a guesstimate anyway.
Nothing worse than money been completely wasted though! Especially if you have saved like mad to pay for everything! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

This is why I’m only inviting the people I want to invite and the people I know will come. I’m so glad we’ve chosen to marry abroad to avoid the stress of this!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Better than people turning up and leaving after the meal at £70 a head!! (Yes we had half the family do this )

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Make sure you have a few back up people who you could replace them with.
Even if that doesn't work... Its only Money.

Letting something like this ruin your biggest day isn't worth you life.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

We are having backups but, if people drop out on the day then it's bigger portions of food for some people lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Ugh how annoying! I'm at a point now where I'm just refusing to stress over things I cant change so if this happens to me (the wedding is 4 weeks away) I would ignore their message and not bother replying and I simply wouldn't speak to then again. That might sound over the top but it kinda makes you realise who your true friends are! I would be upset about the wasted money but what can you do?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

I'd message them and say you appreciate them letting you know to give you the opportunity to ask someone who wants to be there for your special day but maybe add a question of would they have cancelled if they'd paid the money for the meal themselves people really do have the most ridiculous excuses - the ones who want to be there will make it, regardless those who don't aren't worth the effort - enjoy it! X

Tracey Whitehouse
Tracey Whitehouse 26 Feb 2018

This sounds so annoying! We are having a late wedding and just a buffet so if people don't turn up then there's more food for those who do! Try not to let it spoil a lovely day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

We had 7 people drop out on the day (with no excuse offered) so I ignored the messages as didn't need the stress! Luckily I bumped into a friend at the hairdressers (invited to the evening) and told her what happened and would she like to come all day, which she did.
If you have the chance to fill the space/s with any friends from the evening reception then you have a win win.
I would just aknowledge the message with a "your message has been received" and enjoy your day xxxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Delete and block and dont speak to them again. Sends a pretty clear message without an argument xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

We had a couple who knew they weren't coming but lead us to believe they were, we found out through someone they basically had no intention of being there grrr, ignorant people unfortunately! Just enjoy your day and celebrate with all the ones that want to be there with you!

Stephanie Wood
Stephanie Wood 26 Feb 2018

Unless they have a valid reason (I.e. unexpected illness etc.) I'd let them know how much you have paid on food for them and tell them to expect an invoice. See if they turn up then.

Dawn Mcintosh
Dawn Mcintosh 26 Feb 2018

I have aunts I am going to bump there new partners and children if I have any cancellations

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Be grateful they didn't arrive at all on the day. I'd 2 didn't turn up for the meal with no warning in advance

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

We had a couple drop out of day time so we upgraded a couple evening guests but a couple still didn't turn up and a few on the evening didn't turn up too.. x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

I had people who just didn’t show with no explanation or apology! Don’t let them ruin your day... the people that mean the most will be there come hell or high water!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

I have a friend who’s baby is due the same weekend of the wedding. So happy for her, offered an evening only invite (no pressure for her as I’m sure she is going to be uncomfortable etc...and Cost aswell which does make me feel awful but it ain’t cheap) but she’s insisted on coming and will let me know on the day I have a back up couple who will slid into their place but I totally understand your frustrations xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

Be grateful they are telling you and you can offer evening guests day spaces .. i had several people who just didnt show up on the day who didn't even hint they weren't going .. even the day before were in touch with us and didnt say anything!!

UKbride Member 26 Feb 2018

Just send them the bill

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 26 Feb 2018

had afew people say they were coming to our wedding then months later i asked them if they were still coming and they said they couldnt come anymore! wonder when they were going to bother to tell us but atleast we found this out weeks before the day!
had a cousin and her son not turn up and still not heard from them and our wedding was months ago! absolute waste of time and money but at the end of the day all the people that do turn up are the ones you actually want there!

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