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UKbride Member Request 24 Feb 2018

Hoping for some insight or advice. Has anyone not done the typical hen do...

Hoping for some insight or advice. Has anyone not done the typical hen do thing? I don’t have many girlfriends, probably only a few best friends and then with my sister and cousins. However I’m feeling presuriesed into inviting a bunch of people to my hen do to make up numbers to over twenty, but I don’t want a bunch of random people coming as I would find it slightly awkward and not as enjoyable. Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble, I appreciate the work going into planning it for me but can’t help but feel over anxious on the fact I don’t have anyone other to include :/

37 Comments
Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 24 Feb 2018

Why is there a need to make up numbers? Personally I have chosen not to have a hen do although I know several people are disappointed in that and I may be in for a 'surprise' but I would be very unhappy if random people were invited.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Hen do is about you. So, if you only have a few people to invite, do that. Shouldn't be forced to invite extra people simply to make up numbers

Bethany Hardcastle
Bethany Hardcastle 25 Feb 2018

I'm not having a hen do I'm getting married in august just probably go out for something to eat and drinks with family and my partner

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Nope we all went out together and called it our 'shag' do ...stag /hen ha ha ....was a brilliant night x

Nicola Mooney
Nicola Mooney 25 Feb 2018

I had 9 in total for my hen... best weekend ever. It's quality over quantity.

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

I had a joint hen/stag with all my family there of all ages. We went to the park for a picnic, on to Kaspas for an ice cream and back home to sit in the garden and have a drink. My work girls took me to a local music event as well but only 6 of us went x x do what is good for you x

Suzanne Hunton
Suzanne Hunton 25 Feb 2018

I’m just having a few close friends for a meal and a sleepover - this is my second wedding after being widowed, and I’m amazed at the amount of pressure and expectation that’s out there.

Is there some mystery Wedding Committee that sets mandatory numbers and activities for stag and hen parties, or wedding parties? Has it become the law that we have to obey? Just do what makes you happy (as long as no one else gets hurt), and do things that *you* enjoy.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Your wedding...your hen do... worry about your feelings not anyone elses

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

I'm a loner, so me, my mum and one of my daughters are going to a spa for the day for my hen do

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Me and the H2B are having "non-gender specific dos." We have many mutual friends who are male, female and non-binary so we're going to invite people we want. I'm not inviting people I don't know.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

It's your hen do, just like it's your wedding - personal to you! There is absolutely nothing wrong with small, it means that everyone there will be someone you love, and they'll understand what you want because they actually know you . I had a party of six, we got manicures and went for tapas and cocktails, and it was great! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Don't do it Hun do what makes you happy , along like Susan said people were very unhappy with my hen arrangements but it's my party / day not theirs I only had a few but a brill day as long as you enjoy xx

Heather Perry
Heather Perry 25 Feb 2018

We're having 8, which is me, my auntie, 3 bridesmaids, my cousins fiance, my cousin, my friend.

Theres no pressure, depends what youre doing :) were doing an 80s dance class, pizza making and cocktail making. Coming to £100pp.

Suki Charlton
Suki Charlton 25 Feb 2018

Me and my partner have been together 14 years so we didn't have the traditional hen or stag do but a joint sten ( stag /hen) do. It was such a great night, had by all 😍

Lynne Davidson
Lynne Davidson 25 Feb 2018

It's your decision what you would like to do. I'm in a similar situation with very few close friends and have decided to have 2 nights, one with just my bridesmaid and matron of honour. The other one is for family and friends which is a meal and a few drinks.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

I'm not into going out clubbing much so we are going to Lytham having a few cocktails and a meal for mine, as it's just my 4 close friends mum, my partners sisters and niece but non of us are into go out properly everyone is happy to just go for a meal and cocktails after then home at a decent hour x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

I had 10 all together including my mum, sister and a few friends xx

Donna Green
Donna Green 25 Feb 2018

I wanted a weekend with all my girl family members has I've not many friends I'd like to spend a full weekend away with. But no one wanted to pay for what I wanted to do they wanted to do what they wanted that cost more. So I've just booked for 5 of us to go to the log cabins for a weekend xx do what you want not anyone else xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Have there the people who you want

Have a look on wowcher they do some great spa deals or even a couple of nights abroad

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

The idea of a traditional hen do brings me out in a cold sweat- I'm going on a night out with my lovely work colleagues, I'll probably do a spa day or something with my bridesmaids, and then I may visit a few good friends as they're scattered around the country. The idea of making up numbers personally sounds a little bizarre to me- you do you, and don't worry about anyone else!

Michelle Palmer
Michelle Palmer 25 Feb 2018

I’m having a family (including Grandmas) and a few work friends, 14 of us going for afternoon tea. And then going for a weekend away on a coach trip just 5 of us. Do what you want to do, you will always not please everyone! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Nope. 7 people including myself. Lovely cottage that I found. We stayed in and did a meal and drinks on the Friday. Then Saturday morning we had a lazy brunch followed by clay pigeon shooting. Back to the cottage for a brew and cake then got ready and had a drink before going into the local town for a meal and couple of cocktails. Went back to the cottage for more drinks and to chill out. It was heaven! Xx ps the reason they may want numbers to over 20 is to make it cheaper if going through a package deal. Try and sort it yourself can be cheaper, plus it's what you want xx

Lindsay Coombes
Lindsay Coombes 25 Feb 2018

Not as many people could come to mine. I ended up with 8 and they were my closest friends and it was fabulous plus as a smaller group they all got to know each other better for the wedding. We did a water activity course and a night out in my local town with everyone crashing at mine. Doesn’t matter how many come it’s the people that make it xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

A lot of our friends are couples, so we’re having a combined stag and hen do.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

I just had my hen do last weekend and there was only 6 of us! It was amazing and so much fun. You don’t need tons of people. As long as they are your favourite people it doesn’t matter

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

We dont have a huge circle of friends so having a joint stag/ hen, going to find a 90s music event and just have a laugh! Planning on dinner and dancing, do what ever makes you happy! Dont worry about "tradition" or others expectarions, we are planning a regisrty office ceremony (he is quaker i am pagan so neither of our ceremonies would be legal) then having a bbq at home! It is perfect for us and thats hoe it should be! Hope you have a lovely wedding and hen party no matter what you decide

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Not many on my hen do. Invite who you like.

Natalie Casey
Natalie Casey 25 Feb 2018

I’m not having a hen do as such, just having a small little do with family. Probably just a nice meal out or something as I’m not one for clubbing x

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 25 Feb 2018

When it comes to planning my hen do I’ll be supplying my chief bridesmaids with a list of people that I want there. I definitely won’t be making up up numbers 🤣 x

Carole Birchy
Carole Birchy 25 Feb 2018

I struggled to get 16 🙈
I’m quite personal now and I wouldn’t mind an intimate day with my girls x

Kate Phillips
Kate Phillips 25 Feb 2018

I’m not having one x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Im the same I only have maybe three close friends then my aunties so probably a hen party of maybe 8 people tops including mother and mother in law. My hen do is probably going to he hiring a cabin/cottage in the lake district and doing some outdoorsy activities and having a chilled out day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

i am the same as you i just had 5 people at my hen do and we had a brilliant time

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

I had a surprise tea party with a difference, it was Alice in wonderland, at the Richmond tea rooms in Manchester, the teacups were full of cocktails, and all the staff dressed in costumes, there were party games and a show which was really funny and Alice did a burlesque dance, it really was fun and different x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Feb 2018

Im likely going for a weekend to rome or something with just my very closest friends and my sisters xx I would not be doing the “normal” hen night. And a joint thing is out of the question as the other half is going to Vegas for is stag. Do what you want to do

Colette Smith
Colette Smith 26 Feb 2018

I didn’t want one either but am now having dinner and cocktails with close friends and family xx

Sammi Taylor
Sammi Taylor 26 Feb 2018

Your hen do is whatever you want it to be. Doesn't necessarily have to be full of females. It's just known as the hen do because it's the send off for the bride before she becomes a Mrs.
Can be whatever you want. Could be an evening in with boardgames.
Could be going out drinking. A spa weekend or afternoon tea. Paint balling. Whatever you want it to be with whoever you want.
Literally my friend rented a cottage in York and majority of her friends are all disperse and individual and didn't know anyone else who was going. We all turned up not knowing anyone other than the bride because she doesn't have a 'group' of friends it's individual friends she's met in her life that she has.
We all know each other now obviously and it was an amazing weekend. There was only like 7 of us. There were board games and alsorts and we spend the Friday night in drinking. Aimed to go out around York on Saturday but we got so drunk Friday night we were too hungover. The cottage was amazing and we were quite happy staying in and cooking food the Saturday and played hen games and cards against humanity.
The only invited her 7 friends that she has. She could have started inviting random people to make numbers up but she didn't want too because she wanted it to be her friends and people she could share her hen party with. And her mum and sister of course were included.
We also got a stripper for her to surprise her haha but that is typical hen party stuff so I doubt you'll be interested in that. We also done gin tasting on the Saturday during the day and had a wander through York during the Christmas markets. Was lovely xx

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