UKbride Member Request 21 Feb 2018

Has anyone had to tell someone that they can no longer be your bridesmaid?...

Has anyone had to tell someone that they can no longer be your bridesmaid? If so how did you do it? There are several reasons why I can’t have the person as my bridesmaid like the cost and also because she hasn’t been a good friend. I’m so worried and stressed about doing it, it’s making me a wreck but I know it’s the right thing to do! Help please xx

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 21 Feb 2018

Hi just tell her you cannot afford it :)

Becky Moss
Becky Moss 21 Feb 2018

Ohhh this is a hard one i would be a wreck too if you drop her from bridesmaid is she still invited to the wedding or will she not go the wedding because you have dropped her and will she remain friends with you if it is about cost you could talk to her and ask if she would be happy to buy her own bridesmaid dress she may be happy to xx

Laura Campbell
Laura Campbell 22 Feb 2018

Tell her directly if she's worth it... If not.. Don't bother... Just drop her... I've had to and it makes me sound like a nasty bitch.. I'm sooo not.. But just pure had enough of begging someone to be interested in my wedding. They're not.... Soo who cares...xx not going to make any more efforts from people like that... No more..

Laura Stewart
Laura Stewart 22 Feb 2018

I guess you could go down the route of you forgot that you asked

Don’t talk weddings or anything with her, if she is that bad a friend chances are that she will not even mention it 😊

Loralie Davies
Loralie Davies 22 Feb 2018

It depends if you want to drop her as a bridesmaid or a friend,if it's just as a Bridesmaid then tell her being a bridesmaid is stressful and she would have much more fun just as a guest plus money is tight and would she mind just doing your the favour of not being bridesmaid,but if you are a dropping her as a friend,then just be upfront, polite and firm,I have found planning my wedding some people couldn't be more helpful and kind and want to be involved and other people clearly couldn't care less,it's a 'really finding out who your true friends are' type experience :) hope this helps! xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

your better to just be honest, but you do need to realise you may lose her as a friend permanently x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

Iv had to do it. At the end of the day is your wedding and if your not 100% happy with your decision then you have to speak to them. Mine turned out to be nasty, I tried to do it in the nicest way - even tho I knew it wouldn’t be taken well - best decision I made regarding the wedding - I was so stressed and worried about it now I know I have the best people around me. I have lost her permanently but now I see she wasn’t a real friend anyway x

Katrina Mussellwhite
Katrina Mussellwhite 22 Feb 2018

Mine saved me a job, she decided to be a less than nice person and cut all ties so saved me the job lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

If it is purely cost of dress etc , be honest,...then find her a different role where she can wear her own clothes

Natalie Guest
Natalie Guest 22 Feb 2018

I was going to ask a couple of girls to also be my bridesmaids but thankfully I didn’t as neither have made an effort with me at all unlike I did for theirs.. Things work out for a reason and if you think to yourself do I want to look back at photos of my special day with someone who is no longer relevant in my life (because In the end they won’t be) then you know your answer x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

Tag her in this haha xx in all seriousness, I feel for you and hope it resolves itself soon xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

I would just explain how you feel truthfully with her, like nat says you don't want to be looking back at your wedding photos with someone who you thought was a friend & who is no longer in your life you will regret it xx

Mel Ive
Mel Ive 22 Feb 2018

Have the same issue atm

Chelsea-Anne Horrocks
Chelsea-Anne Horrocks 22 Feb 2018

You could just say that you’ve had to cut costs a bit so are making a few changes, and having less bridesmaids are one?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

I had to do it with my husband's niece who I originally asked to be a bridesmaid to please my mother in law and she turned out to be awkward at every step and made everything about her and I was just honest with her and said it was upsetting me and make the wedding planning stressful and not enjoyable and although it caused major upset to begin with everyone got over it and I had a lovely day back g just my sister and best friend of 23 years as bridesmaid

Anya Williams
Anya Williams 22 Feb 2018

I find it amazing when people ask friends to be bridesmaids the change their mind!

I think people need to think before they ask! X

Sammi Taylor
Sammi Taylor 22 Feb 2018

I asked an extra two friends to be bridesmaids when I got engaged over a year and a half ago. Then they didn't speak to me for the full year and a half and now suddenly they've started talking to me now that I'm getting married in 6 months. I've already purchased my bridesmaid dresses, shoes, bolero jackets and booked their hair and makeup... But not for them two as they weren't there... Or speaking to me. Whenever I messaged or called or text they never got in touch so I just left it.
I haven't said anything about it now they just kinda know that they aren't bridesmaid. We are on speaking terms again, but I wouldn't count them as my best friends no more

.Melanie Brice
.Melanie Brice 22 Feb 2018

Of she hasn't been a good friend there's gona be no loss so just be honest

Hazel Cottrell
Hazel Cottrell 23 Feb 2018

If you definitely don't want her then tell her sooner rather than later or you'll get yourself more worked up...

Shea Moran
Shea Moran 26 Feb 2018

Change the wedding date or venue and just don’t tell her. Lol


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