UKbride Member Request 21 Feb 2018

Sorry for the long post - I’m the oldest of 3 girls and I was so happy...

Sorry for the long post - I’m the oldest of 3 girls and I was so happy when my H2B asked me to marry him as I never thought I’d get married. My family was over the moon when I told them. But since then I have been planning on my own with the help of my MOH, H2B and MIL2B. My family is making lots of things difficult as a lot of them don’t drive and I don’t seem to have much support in the way of them offering to help or input on travel, or really being there for anything. When I told my mum she might have to do ‘mother of the bride things’ she pulled a face and I haven’t tried to get her to do much as I don’t feel like she wants to be very involved. How do get them to more interested or involved without pushing them? Thanks so much.

Kirsty Howieson
Kirsty Howieson 21 Feb 2018

I would speak to them see how involved they want to be. I’ve told my mum she’s not doing anything she just has to turn up and look good on the day. She does stress a lot and previously had a heart attack. I will discuss with her she likes being involved but just for her opinion. My moh and h2b are helping with everything and all the decisions

Belinda Ann Welbourne
Belinda Anne Bingley 21 Feb 2018

As far as I'm concerned the mother of the bride doesn't have any duties surely as she raised you she's done her duty and she can sit back and watch her daughter's day , myself and my husband to be are arranging our wedding mum is just coming with me when I choose my dress
I think your maybe being a little harsh sorry but that's my opinion x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Feb 2018

Leave them be. Nobody is obligated to help plan your wedding. If there's a distance,and they can't drive,it will be hard for them to be involved. So,be thankful for any help you are getting

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Feb 2018

Ask her if she wants to be involved. She must know that you can't drive, ask if you can have a lift and if she wants to come. Ask your sisters if they want to help. When i got married the first time my mum came to everything with me, she wouldn't have had it any other way. My second wedding we did it all but we asked my mum if she wanted to be involved but she just left us to it. I can't understand any mum who doesn't want to be involved in helping organise their daughters wedding. When mine gets married I will be mumzilla, that is a mums duty to be there at that time. Raising a child is not a duty it is a privilege and not one that every woman gets.

Bethany Smith
Bethany Smith 21 Feb 2018

I agree with others, my H2B and I are planning it all. My Mum came dress shopping with me. But apart from that my family have no involvement in the planning at all and neither does his family. I don't really know what they would do, tbh, what are mother of the bride jobs?

Chloe Mitchell
Chloe Mitchell 22 Feb 2018

I have a similar issue, my mum didn't want to do anything. I practically dragged her to look at my dress and she just isn't really that interested in anything wedding. I've just left her to it now. It makes me a little sad, but if anyone will regret not being involved, it's their own fault as it's not through lack of trying.

Tessa Lok
Tessa Lok 22 Feb 2018

My mum's been hot & cold and I'm sort of having the same problem but in regards to her living far away and scheduling. Include your fiancé in your planning, it's his day too and you can get things done together! That's what I'm doing with my fiancé anyway =P
Also, you can get your besties to help you too, you know. A couple good friends of mine that I don't get to meet a lot jumped at the chance to help me find a dress!

Suki Charlton
Suki Charlton 22 Feb 2018

Same here! I showed my mum my dress once I'd brought it and I have done everything myself, it's our wedding our day and we'll have it exactly how we want it 😁 x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

I don't want to sound rude by why should they be expected to help, its your wedding. If they offer great but I don't think there should be no expectation of them helping or being overly excited (until the day I mean) Enjoy not having pushy family members who want you to do it their way!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Feb 2018

I'm in the same kind of situation. I tried to speak to my mum about the fact no one on my side seem interested. No one has asked me anything about the wedding or offered to help. That was back in November. My mum blew up at me as soon as I spoke to her and now we don't talk. Tried to sort things with her but she isn't interested. As it stands she won't be at my wedding

Hazel Cottrell
Hazel Cottrell 23 Feb 2018

ask her why she pulled the face - maybe there is one part that she doesn't want to do and feels awkward about it?

Suzanne Hunton
Suzanne Hunton 25 Feb 2018

What are ‘Mother of the Bride Activities’ anyway? I think I missed that class 😳


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