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UKbride Member Request 12 Feb 2018

Help!! My Mother-in-law to-be has recently got engaged (2nd marriage) which...

Help!! My Mother-in-law to-be has recently got engaged (2nd marriage) which is amazing and I’m really happy for them...however there is little interest in our wedding at all and I’m feeling rather sad for my husband-to-be. The family have gone into overdrive to plan their wedding, which will be before ours, so feeling like there is competition between the weddings! It’s our first (and hopefully only) wedding so I don’t want the excitement of it to be overshadowed, but I can see it happening already and struggling!! I know I am going to have to get my head around it and accept that our wedding is secondary but I’m feeling sad! Advise please!!

12 Comments
Clare Jane
Clare Jane 15 Feb 2018

Focus is on their wedding because theirs is first. Soon as that's done all focus will be on yours. Whether first or second married all marriages are equally important so she has every right to be as excited :)

Sharon  Fowles
Sharon Fowles 15 Feb 2018

We all get wrapped up in planing of our wedding its bound to be more important to her than yours, even though your marrying her son.. As its closer in date... That doesn't mean that it will always be that way... Once their wedding is over & done, i am sure they will help you finish sorting your plans out And be excited for you.. Try to not see it as competition, we all have that added pressure, thanks to the Big Gipsy weddings, etc.. I am a 2nd time bride but this time around i am alot older, alittle wiser & marrying the right guy this time... I wish you all the best for you wedding day and your future life as husband & wife..

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Feb 2018

Enjoy the time without people hounding you and you and your fiancé will get to plan together and the excitement will still be there.. hopefully he isn’t as worried about it as you are and you can both plan in peace! Like others have said they’ll probably become interested again once their wedding has been and gone but you only get to plan this once so enjoy it no matter who is involved xxx

Kayleigh E Alman
Kayleigh E Alman 15 Feb 2018

My mother in law to be isn’t interested at all and it’s really upsetting for me and my husband to be, we keep asking her to help and we try and talk to her about it and she just completely blanks us and says just let my mum help (she’s helping a lot and paying for a lot) we don’t want my mother in law to be’s money at all, we just want her to be interested but she’s not so I know exactly how you feel x

Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
Siobhan Knight-Potgieter 15 Feb 2018

Don’t worry about it. If there Wedding is first you can make sure your weddings are nothing alike.

Just don’t discuss wedding planning with anyone who is helping plan the other as you don’t want ideas taken over.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Feb 2018

Could you not get together and talk weddings? Could be fun to share ideas and get excited ‘together’ about your wedding days. Good for bonding too x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Feb 2018

Just because their wedding is before yours, it doesn’t take anything away from your wedding. This is yours, and will be special to you. Continue planning it, and enjoy it! It’s special for you both, just remember that. Let the family rally around her if that’s what they want to do, your nearest and dearest will rally around you. You don’t need the whole family to help you anyway, my and my h2b have pretty much planned ours without any input from family.
Good luck to you both and I hope your day is as special as you hope it will be x

Kathy Deane
Kathy Deane 15 Feb 2018

Be free to arrange the wedding you want without the interference lol. Enjoy it and let his mum get all the stress and grief! Don't worry about competition just do what you want to xx

Sarah Pollard
Sarah Pollard 15 Feb 2018

Sending you a Hug with Lots of Love (((( ❤️ )))) ..... Please hold onto that each & every wedding is Special .... As it is Only unique you & your husband to be ,
As your mother in law will also be a totally different wedding style from yours as probably a different age group . At the end of the day it will be your friends & family that make the day Special & will be worth every minute of it that all these fears will melt away .... At the end of the day as I discovered everything Does disappear & fade away ( it's media expectations that make such an impact on making it unusual ) As Long as your husband is there when you make your commitment & you look into each other's eyes = That is what makes it Special !!!!! 🌹❤️🌹
Warm Wishes for your Special day ,
Love Sarah xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Feb 2018

Bless you. Of course yours is important. Get hers out the way and concentrate on yours.
While she is planning hers you can make your own plans with.out interferience

UKbride Member 15 Feb 2018

Dont panic..you're second so you're more likely to have the chance to make it better than their wedding

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 15 Feb 2018

I mean, why not see the positives, your MiL is too busy planning her own wedding to be interfering with yours! Lmao honestly other people are never as excited about your wedding as you are but when the time comes people will be excited for you and will enjoy the day. Their wedding is first so it's normal for theirs to be the most talked about at the moment...once theirs is done it'll all be about you don't worry about it :)

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