over the last two weekends I have been frustrated buy the behaviour of one of my bridesmaids - a niece who lives about 250 miles away. I have bought all the dresses, the shoes, the jewellery and am paying for the hair and makeup for all 4 of the bridesmaids. The unfortunate thing is that the hen weekend is the weekend before the wedding - it can't be moved and several of the girls have paid in full, some are using the pay by instalments process and some have paid deposits and will pay the balance by the due date which is this 23rd month. Im suddenly getting messages about its not fair I'm too far away, I can't afford it I won't know anyone and to be frank I have lost sleep and feel quite ill as a result of the hassle. I have explained that it doesn't matter where we go there will be one person who travels the furthest, that actually I will be the only person who will know everyone there but as she is family there will be at least three people she will know and she has know for almost 8 months that the payments were due. This last weekend she messaged me "warning me I might miss the hen do" I have stopped short of exploding (she is 26 and in a well paid job) but have explained that even this message isn't a definitive decision and if she isn't going then then I will personally have to pay the balance of her costs and that this will impact on the budget (its about £145 outstanding) TBH I am within spitting distance of saying forget it and don't bother coming the following weekend either. But that will cause even more chaos - what do I do?
That's really not fair on you at all and you don't need the added stress. Is the lady in question just trying to sponge from you? I think if she can't pay then tell her not to bother but it's completely unfair for you to have to foot the bill. I know it's not a nice situation to be in so I hope it works out but remember it is your day and people should be helping you, not causing problems.