Do you think it is cheeky to ask bridesmaids to help pay towards their dress / shoes / hair / makeup. ? I will be having 6 bridesmaids ( not by choice) to pay for all and everything for them I think it’s abit unfair. Please I do not want to start a war with opinions.
Some people do ask if they will pay. Presumably as it is not your choice you are having 6 bridesmaids the reason is that someone else, i.e. parents, expected it. Could they not pay? If budget is a problem perhaps they could do their own makeup.
Hi I agree with Susan :)
I was made to pay when I was a bridesmaid. Ended up spending an absolute fortune in the end. She is now my bridesmaid and I think she should pay in return
I paid for my bridesmaid's dresses, accomodation and either hair or makeup.
I’m having 3 bridesmaids and I’ve told them that I will pay for their dress, shoes, jewellery and bouquets but if they want their hair and makeup done they will have to pay for that themselves x
The only thing I’m paying for is dresses and alternations to the dress, I’ve told them they could wear any shoes they want and if they wanted their hair and make up done they would pay for themselves unless they wanted to do it themselves x
I have been a bridesmaid on several occasions, 7 times🤦️ and I’ve had to pay for my own dress each time, but the bride paid for our jewellery which I think was lovely as it’s something you get to keep. X
Im on a tight budget and only got two bridesmaids. I told them my colour preferences and asked them to choose the dress they would like and gave them a budget. As it happens both picked same colour and both were more than my budget but both were happy to pay the excess. I also gave them a choice that i could only afford hair or make up not both so they both choose hair. X
I think it’s acceptable as long as you allow them to pick what they can afford x
I really don't think bridesmaids should pay for there dresses at all. I do agree with what Susan says too. If you want the girls to have their hair and make up done professionally, then Maybe do pay for that. But if you are not bothered either way then give them a choice... if they want it then ask if they could help pay... xx
Thank you everyone for you opinions. It’s not so much budget or anything. It was general asking. My partner think we should pay all. But I disagree. But thank you .
I have 4 bridesmaids and 2 flowergirls, I am paying for dresses and hair and makeup, and they will get some jewellery as a present, but they are paying for their own accommodation for 2 nights and their shoes xx
My bridesmaids paid for there own i paid for hair accessories xx
I think the dresses should be paid for but hair, makeup and accessories it is ok to ask for a contribution x x
Maybe split it? I bought the dresses and faux fur stolls, but said they could wear their own shoes. They all ended up buying matching shoes anyway! I would have been happy if they'd chosen to wear different dresses in similar colours though, maybe I'm just exceedingly laid back!
I've paid for their dresses and paying for hair/makeup because I want something specific but they can buy shoes as they can have whatever they want xx
I personally think it’s very rude to ask that. If you can’t afford that many bridesmaids then don’t have them, you say it’s not your choice but it’s your day. If you can afford it then you should definitely pay. I will be footing the bill for dresses, hair, make up and anything else they need
I'm paying for dresses and hair, they are all happy to buy their own shoes and we're all doing our own makeup x
I think it depends on the tone of your wedding. If you're spending £15,000 and splashing out on everything, then it seems cheeky to ask your bridesmaids to cover their dresses - particularly if you want them to buy a specific dress or type of dress. The flip side of that is if you're doing it low-key and are specifying that they can wear any dress of a certain colour, that they have a hope of wearing again, then it's less cheeky
I bought every thing for my two girls as I had asked them and they had agreed to be there for me I thought it was the least I could do xx
Only thing I've asked is for my bridesmaids to get shoes as it's difficult to get them all together to try sizes etc. Told them style and colour but they're free to get whatever heel size they want! I've paid for hair, make up, accessories and dresses though. I think if you're asking them to be a part of your day you should pay for them. I was asked to be a bridesmaid and was asked to pay for my outfit. Thought this was rude especially as I was already paying 2 grand to be at their wedding abroad anyway.
I think as long as you pay for dresses and hair, rest like shoes and accessories etc doesn't matter if you ask them to pay for those x
My bridesmaids paid for dress and shoes they all agreed and we got the best prices for dresses. So happy girls all round x
Me and my wife be have 6 bridesmaids to we just paying for there dress and there sorting the rest out
My maid & matron of honour and my bridesmaid have offered to buy their own dresses and as we have no theme or colour scheme, they choose what dress they want to wear.
I am Having two adult and four child bridesmaids... I always told the adults that I am happy to buy ur dresses and accessories, but to get their own shoes.. As as long as they were silver I didn't mind what they had.. I wanted them to buy something they would wear again and be comfortable in. In the end when we got their dresses they both found a pair of shoes they loved the same..
I have saved alot of money by getting most of it in debenhams 70% off sale... In total saved over £100 on mine and the two older ones jewellery and halos. Ow just the kids to sort out.. Where we have found dresses on amazon for... If u want to pay for it all... Sort ur budget and work within in.. Tell the girls this is my budget for everything, if they want more then they have to supplement it. Xx
Mine bought their own dresses xx
Im having 9 big bridesmaids and 2 little ones. When i asked the big ones to be bridesmaids i asked if they would mind contributing towards their outfit. We are having skirts and tops. I chose the skirt but they all chose what colour they wanted. All different. And i bought those. I asked they buy their own top. Any style as long a its cream. Im hoping to have spare money to pay towards hair and makeup. I havent specified how they have hair and makeup or who does it. I said i was booking a makeup lady for me and my mum and i knew some others if they would like booking in..or they could do their own or use their own mua. I have 4 mua coming on the day. Each bridesmaid picked who to use. I also asked if they would like booking in with my hairdresser or again they could do their own or use someone else. They have all chosen to use the girls from the salon i use. We have also asked groomsmen to contribute too. We have bought the trousers and waistcoat. Asking they provide their shirt. And we have told all the bridal party to just use shoes they already have due to the venue. Unless they want to buy new.
How can it be "not by choice" - of course it's up to you how many bridesmaids you have. I haven't decided what we are doing about hair and make up for mine yet, but I'm paying to have my make up done when I am BM for my friend later in the year, we had the choice to do it ourselves or pay for it which is fine. She has bought our dresses etc, and I am buying dresses etc for mine too. If you can't afford 6 bridesmaids, don't have 6 bridesmaids.
Amy B. Not my choice. As I’ve always wanted just a few friends. So I’ve got 2 friends. A step sister and 3 will be my sister in laws. Family side is not my choice. No offence to them I love them dearly. I just would of wanted 2 friends personally.
You don't ask people to be part of ur big day. And then ask them to buy their own things..
Sorry but I wouldn't have people who weren't my choice. If you aren't going to speak out on that situation maybe whoever has pestered you into having bridesmaids should be the one to pay for them. I asked my girls to pay for their hair n make up as money was fast running out.
My bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses and shoes. I'm giving them accessories as a gift and I'm paying for hair and makeup and trials. The dresses are dressy but not usual bridesmaids dresses so I'm confident they'll be able to wear them more than once which is why we're not paying for them.
Same for the groomsmen suits, we're just asking them to wear any shade of dark blue and we've bought matching ties and pocket squares for them.
But I have said to them that if they're struggling to pay then to let us know so we can do something about it. Budget is tight but we have a bit of wiggle room.
I'm from the US, and normally the bridesmaids always pay for their dresses, shoes, etc. And the bride and groom buy them gifts as a thank you. I see nothing wrong with this, and even though I live over here now, I will still be asking my bridesmaids to pay for their own outfits. However, in order to compromise and not make them spend too much I'm basically giving them total freedom on what they want to wear (other than colour)
I have been bridesmaid twice paid for my own once and was paid for once, I didn't mind either way x I was happy to contribute and know it was appreciated x my wedding was only small I bought dresses they had their own shoes x you know your friends, would you say they couldn't be bridesmaids if they couldn't afford it?
We paid for the dresses but asked the bridesmaids to pay for their own shoes and that way they could choose what they wanted. We also said hair & makeup is optional and if they wanted it done they could pay for it x
I bought dresses for mine cheaply, but they'll do their own hair, make up and provide their own shoes
Mine paid for the dresses and wore their own shoes. I paid for hair and makeup x
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses as a wedding gift to me. In turn, as long as they stick to the coliur I want, they get to choose the dress (unless I absolutely hate it...) They've been wonderful and agreed since day 1.
I'm paying for everything apart from their shoes. I've advised them to buy something that they can wear again.
I have 5bm. Their budget is £120 each for dress and if they have any money left then can use it for other stuff. Their hair and make up is being done by a friend and cousin of one of the bm and she is doing it as a wedding gift to me x
I had 6 bridesmaid's and we paid for more or less everything. They did their own makeup, and we had hair done by a family member. I always expected to pay but a few of them did offered to pay their way - my little sisters were paid for by my mum, and my MoH offered to pay for her own dress, shoes etc (I didn't let her). I'd say just talk to them if you would like them to contribute. A lot of people are willing to pay for their own shoes - as often they are the kind of thing that can be reused. I don't think this unreasonable to discuss it.
I think if you've asked these people to be your BM you should pay. You want them as part of your day you should pay. I am
If you ask them to pay, you can't dictate an exact dress or shoes, you can only give guidelines such as colour, length, style. So, you may have to accept that they all wear different dresses. Alternatively, pay for the dresses - there are plenty of high street shops that do suitable dresses - and then give them the option of doing their own hair and make up or sourcing their own stylist/MUA. I'm paying for dress, hair and makeup, bridesmaid is paying for shoes and jewellery
I have 3 big bridesmaids and am paying for theirs dresses, hair, makeup and accessories and have asked them to buy their own shoes and if they want a make up trial they can pay for that too. They are happy with that. Good luck with whatever you decide x
See i know of people who have had their bridesmaids pay for themselves for everything... and its what the mr family say to... just assume bridesmaids will buy their own and we have not much money lol. But to me its very cheeky and i dont feel comfortable with that for my wedding
I had 7 adult bridesmaids and 4 little ones, all adult ones paid for dresses, I got their shoes. I don’t see an issue with it tbh as it’s a lot for a wedding. I have paid when I’ve been a bridesmaid and when my daughters been a flower girls it’s the way it is now a days everything no matter how much you budget still builds at a large amount. Xx
My bridesmaids all offered to pay for their dresses and shoes. I am paying for hair and make up :)
I'll be setting a budget for them, but have told them that it's up to them if they want to go over that. If they see a dress that is more or whatever they could still have it but would just have to pay the difference. They're more than happy with that and to sort it between themselves. So I don't feel bad for that as it's their own choice
I have 6 bridesmaids I wouldn't dream of asking them to pay for anything towards them being MY bridesmaids. I've been bridesmaid on 3 occasions and have never paid for anything. When planning a wedding you have a budget for everything I think that should include your bridesmaids, I think if you can't afford to have that many then you shouldn't ask them.
If it's not your choice then don't have the bridesmaids it's your day and your partners so if you both cant make the choice together without anyone else butting in then you shouldn't be getting married the marriage is your day so your choices
I didn't care how the girls had there hair/makeup so I left that to them some decided to get it done professionally others did there own .... however if I had a set style in mind and wanted them all done that specific way and it needed to be done professionally I'd of paid
Im only having 2 bridesmaids and i told them when i asked them i will buy dresses and shoes but hair and makeup they will need to arrange and pay for. Transparency is key x
I've got 6 and said I'd pay for everything, they all said they will pay for hair/makeup and that they wouldn't expect me to pay for it all.
I did say I would though.
I have bought my bridesmaids dresses and will pay for their hair and makeup but I have asked them to buy their own shoes. When I was a bridesmaid I paid for my dress. The bride had a few to buy so we said she should buy the shoes as they were cheaper. I think if you have a chat with them so they know what you want to do straight away then there will be no surprises and hopefully no arguments
I had 6 bridesmaids, I paid for the dresses and they got shoes them selves, between them they also did hair and makeup themselves because one braidsmaid is a hairdresser and another is a make up artist
I paid for the dress as that's only thing I wanted them all to ware the same of I gave a choice of 3 dress though. I said hair, shoes and jewellery can be their own preference so they paid for those
I have paid for my own dress and shoes (of the bride's choice ) in lieu of a wedding present, it was a good compromise and everyone was happy I think I wore what the bride wanted and wasn't out anything I wouldn't of been if I had of bought a gift
I think they all should pitch in im having 7 not including my flower girls so if im paying for anything then it may b for the little ones
Mine offered to pay for their own
I'm having 7 bridesmaids including MOH and I do y be asking them to buy their own dresses as they are there on my request. I have told them all they can have their hair and makeup however they feel comfy and wear whatever shoes they want as again I want the to be comfy and not stressing over the outfit or money or anything else. I think I'd be offended if I was asked to buy my own dress but hair makeup etc I think is fair game x
In my opinion, and it’s only an opinion. You should pay for their dresses, if you choose a dress where you can see the shoes then buy the shoes too if you can’t see them then just ask them to wear something they are comfortable in. As to the number, stick with who you want, you don’t want to look back at the pictures and regret having people involved you didn’t want. Can you tell them you can’t have them as you can’t afford to pay for that many? I’d also say it’s up to you as to paying for things like hair and makeup as I’m sure they’re all capable of doing their own. Hope you manage to work out a way that eases the stress for you.
I have 4 and budgeted £100 for each to cover everything. Anything over that they’ve kindly said they’ll cover. I think it’s a bit much to ask them to pay for it all as they are wearing what you want them to wear but I’m sure they’d be willing to help out if you’re paying a part of it. Talk to them and see if they’re able to contribute.
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses (Because they want to) but we'll be going very cheap, high street even and as long as they're roughly the same colour I ain't bothered!
I'm buying shoes and dresses but might ask for help paying for hair and makeup. it is a choice to get a make up artist but they have to have dresses and shoes so I think That's fair.
Dayna Slater do you have an opinion
I asked mine and they said they would rather do their own hair and makeup so I only need to pay for my own xx
I asked my Bridesmaids to pay for optional things. Of they wanted new shoes they bought them but they could also wear any they already had. I also said if they would like their make up done on the day that was their choice they could either pay to have it done professionally, do it themselves or not wear it. We paid for dresses, hair jewellery
I am paying for dress but they paying own shoes hair and make up x
Very rude! If you want 6 bridesmaids then you pay for them! Some people say, “they will be paying for an Outfit, Shoes, Hair & Make Up anyway! Eh no! Not everyone spends a fortune to go to every wedding!
Money’s short I get that but keep money to cover as this is important!
It's fine to ask them to contribute as long as you agree this with them straight away I'm probably going to buy the dresses but they will be getting their own shoes and probably pay for their own hair and makeup as well. I will be getting them some jewellery and hair accessories as these will need to match up with my colour scheme.
Mine paid willingly x
It's your wedding therefore it is your choice. I think it's rude to ask them to pay. I couldn't afford to have all the people I wanted so I'm having one. Wouldn't dare ask my friends to pay to be in my wedding.
Im only having 2 bridesmaids max. Paying for dresses and maybe shoes but thats depending on budget
I’ve set a budget for the dresses - if they choose a dress over that amount they will need to pay the extra. But I’ve set the budget at £100 and we’ve found loads of lovely ones for less than that. I’m paying for hair too but not having my own makeup done so not paying for theirs. I’ve also asked them to provide shoes but they don’t have to be new just something they’ve already got!
It’s a conversation you need to have with them before you start buying dresses etc. If everyone is aware of what is expected, they know what is going to happen so can’t be annoyed when it comes to paying for things. Ultimately, it’s personal preference/budget that dictates whether you can afford to kit out your entire bridal party or whether they pay for their own. The only thing with that is, if they pay for their own they may think they should be entitled to have a say in what the dresses are like. Can make it a bit tricky if they all have a different style and you have a specific idea of what you want.
I paid for my bridesmaids we used a company which had reasonable dresses £ 35 each company betty boo . I have all flowers left over if you want
My bridesmaides paid for their own shoes this was because they had floor lenghth dresses so you couldnt see them but some could wear heels and some couldnt so aslong as they was comfy thats all that matterd to me and i had one that lived far away so was hard when it came to trying things on. They also paid for their own make-up if they wanted it doing professionaly which one didnt but she used similar colours to the other bridesmaides which i was fine with
I’ve brought my bridesmaids dresses and they are buying there own shoe and doing there own makeup and hair xx
Just my opinion...I think if you have asked them to be bridesmaid then all dresses, shoes, makeup, hair, etc should be paid for within the bride and grooms budget. I do not understand, if its your big day why do you have so many bridesmaids "not by choice"?! 😲
I really hope you can find the strength and courage to speak up and tell whoever has pressured you into having 6 bridesmaids, that its not what you want. I had 4 at my wedding. My 3 best friends and my niece. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else standing by my side on our special day. I paid for the dresses, but my maids paid for any alterations they needed. I then let them keep the dress as they were lush and could be worn at other occasions. I felt this was a fair compromise. I chose the shoes the girls wore, but they were just sandals, and the girls paid for them, and kept them. Try to remember it's your day. If it's not what you want, you have to speak up. Xx
Luckily I have only 2 bridesmaids and they are my sister's. So they were cool about buying their own dresses. Maybe if everyone chips in, you could pay towards it but not the full amount as it would be super costly. Also, get them to consider buying online as its way more affordable!
It’s not the bridesmaids fault you asked them to be bridesmaid? I am about to be a bridesmaid and I can’t afford to pay to be a bridesmaid so I would compromise and be more than happy to do my own hair and make up to save on price xx if that wasn’t good enough then I’d have to sadly back out of being a bridesmaid
I have said I'll pay for all my bridesmaids but they have all said they'll happily contribute as it's going to be them wearing them. So I've said I'll pay for their outfits and they are going to pay for hair and makeup :) as long as you ask in the right way then it'll be fine
I think if you choose it you should pay for it, bride choose dress= she paid. I choose how I wanted hair make up and shoes= i paid. I was not offended as long as you don't dictate what shoes (we were given a colour) or how to have their hair or nails but then expect them to pay for it you should be fine
I've got my 2 sisters my daughter and step daughter. We have paid for both daughters but my sisters paid for their own dresses but we are paying for shoes,bag etc xx
You should buy the dresses if you want to choose them. Yes I think it is cheeky to ask them to pay. They could do their own hair and makeup but I don’t get why you are having bridesmaids you don’t want .
i’m not having any family as bridesmaid. if i were, sisters, nieces and goddaughter alone would see me have 16 bridesmaids without any of my friends. i feel bad, but my family understand and it’s mine and my partners day.
bridal party my choose,
grooms party his choice 🙂 as for money, il be asking my bridesmaid for a little money towards their dresses. i’m only having 3 bridesmaids xx
I've been a bridesmaid a lot and in this time I've had to buy my own dress (She has a lot of sister's and said if you want to be BM you have to get your own dress - luckily it was a dress I wore to a previous wedding!), I've never had shoes bought for me by the bride and make up always paid for myself as I wanted it nice for the day - I could have done it myself! Hair is sometimes paid other times I contribute.
How about telling them i'm buying your dress, you can buy your shoes in x colour (then it's a style they like) & maybe buy them jewellery for the day? Hair- if you want them all the same then you might have to contribute.... make up - they pay.
I’m having 10, like you not by choice.
I have 6 bridesmaid and 4 flower girls.
I have said I will pay for dresses, flowers, hair and makeup on day. But shoes nails and a trial for hair /makeup and anything else they want could they pay. Xx
I asked mine to pay for dresses, i chose something reasonably priced £70 from asos. They wore shoes they already had or bought their own. We all did our own make up but i paid for the hair and got them a gift x
I was bridesmaid for my friend and we had to pay for our own dress, shoes, hair makeup etc... but she was on limited funds (I also paid part of there venue as a loan) - for my girls, I’m having 2 bridesmaids 2 flower girls, I have told them I will buy dresses but they need to pay for shoes, accessories, hair /make up. This isn’t limited and if I have to folk out to help them for my big day I will. None were offended by having to pay. In fact one bridesmaid offered to pay part for my dress
Nope it’s totally fine!!!
I just want to say if it's not by choice then why are you having them? its your wedding!
I'm paying for everything. I think it's a bit cheeky asking someone to play an important role and then expecting them to pay for it. My best friend is my bridesmaid because I can't imagine getting married without her by my side so I'm quite happy to pay out to make sure she has everything she needs for the day. Your bridesmaids should be people you want, not people your family want xx
I've never had to pay to be a bridesmaid and I certainly didn't expect mine to pay either.
I’ve got 4 and 1 little one. They’ve all offered to help towards costs! So I think we’ll just see how it goes. You shouldn’t be pressured into have people as bridesmaids that you didn’t want/ask! I know it sounds mean but it’s your day and your money too!
I’m on a limited budget, (and having a small wedding anyways) and talked to my 4 bridesmaids about it. We mutually set a budget for their dresses that everyone could afford. So we set £100 each, with the agreement I would contribute £20 towards either the dress or shoes or accessories etc. I guess everyone’s a little different though, and my thoughts were that at least then they would keep the dresses they paid for? Some people may consider it cheeky, but my friends completely understood and wanted to help wherever possible.
God no way!! Why not buy a little every month! I’m getting married in 2020 and started buying their shoes each month! Plus my bridal shop will do dresses buy now pay later
I've given my bridesmaids my colour theme and said just to buy their own dresses. I know they will get use out if them for more than just my wedding. I don't care how much they spend. I said they could turn up in their nightwear if they like as long as I have everyone with me.
Weddings are far too expensive as it is and being on a tight budget I think it's unrealistic to pay for everything yourself
No not at all
I am buying dress and jewellery as present but they paying there own shoes hair and make up xx
No i was a bridesmaid and I payer for dress and shoes she maid for hair and makeup if they are true friends/family it shouldn't bother them xxx