UK
UKbride Member Request 2 Feb 2018

Family drama!! We are currently trying to sort our guest list out to our...

Family drama!! We are currently trying to sort our guest list out to our wedding and engagement party the only problem is that I honestly do not want half of my family there due to different reasons per person. One has taken such offence that he’s actually trying to bully me into inviting him, my auntie is refusing to come unless he’s there but I’ve become so heartless towards them that I don’t care if she doesn’t come. I honestly think it is rude that they even expected to get invited and no-one else has been offended (yet) They are refusing to speak to me face to face so I can give reason as to why I don’t want him to come but now I don’t know how to leave it as I feel they’ll intimidate my parents.

23 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 2 Feb 2018

Hi are your parents supporting your decisions ? I t is your wedding invite who you want there must be a good reason why you don't want your cousin there. If he is bullying you then I definitely wouldn't invite him :)

Tanya Alexander
Tanya Alexander 2 Feb 2018

It must be hard. My partner got a very big family. And I’m learning to put my foot downing. Saying don’t like it don’t come sort of attitude. And thankfully my partner agrees with me on it. It’s mine and his day . At the end of the day your guests are there for you. If they can’t get over that. There lose. They don’t need to come. You only invite who you want. If others done like it. Think tuff.
Trust me I’m people pleaser ha . Don’t let your day be ruined x

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 2 Feb 2018

Hopefully your parents understand your reasons for not wanting them there - at the end of the day this is for you and your H2B,

Cheryl Ellen
Cheryl Ellen 2 Feb 2018

Your day your choice! Xxx

Erica Nolan
Erica Nolan 2 Feb 2018

Just because you are related to people does not mean they have to be part of your whole life - or that you have to put up with their behavior. I don't have anything to do with the majority of my family (apart from mum and dad) because they have been horrible to me over the years. I finally told them what I thought of them and have been the better for it. It's your day and you are paying for everything. Make it a special day full of laughter and happiness - not stress and tension xxx

Cathy McBrearty
Cathy McBrearty 2 Feb 2018

We both have big families but tbh our guest list is mainly friends. We are inviting the people who have an active part in our lives. Being family doesn't automatically entitle them to a free pass xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

It's your day, have there who you both want, not who think they deserve to be there

Heather Perry
Heather Perry 2 Feb 2018

I have a big family, i didnt get invited to half the family weddings, so ive invited a few.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

You and your other half. No one else matters if they’re going to be difficult so be it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

I’ve just started doing my guest list, I don’t have anything to do with my mums side of the family and said to my mum is there anyone she wanted to invite after I showed her my guest list and she said no it’s my day so I can decide. Funny enough there all expecting a invite but thy will have a shock! Your day your guests why pay for someone to eat when you wouldn’t go out for a normal meal with them? Good luck x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

Talk to your partner and parents about it.stick to what you both want...I had similar issues with family and told them couldn’t afford all to come to wedding day do.they got invited to night do..some said where comin and then never turned up.it happens with friends and families.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

It ur day not there's. If people are mad at you maybe they shouldn't of said or did what ever it was that made you not have them on the list. Don't stress have the people round you that makes you happy and forget the rest they just jealous.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

Your day do it your way..
Have who YOU.want and don't be pressurised by people. Simple rules to follow
Dont invite people you dont want to.
Dont invite people your not close to.
Don't invite people you hardly see or are not close to.
Invite those you would happily buy a meal.for

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

Explain your reasons to your parents. I bet they support you. Explain your worries that auntie will nag and try to get them to see their side and convince you otherwise. I bet they say they won't be swayed. I would then say to them "if she does start just shut the conversation down and direct her to me". I doubt she'll come to you but if she does, or if she goes to your parents, phone her/go round if possible. Explain calmly the reasons why no, that if she doesn't want to come then that is her decision and she is not to go whinging to your parents as nothing to do with them and you will not have them being harassed over a wedding that isn't even theirs. Good luck, sounds like you need it xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

Ignore them and move on with your life without their pathetic pettiness....

Michelle Goldsworthy
Michelle Goldsworthy 2 Feb 2018

Sounds like you’ve done the right thing if this is how they’re behaving!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Feb 2018

Your day, your choice. If someone is like that then sounds like further reason for them not to come tbh! Maybe warn your parents about them?

Niki Clarke
Niki Clarke 2 Feb 2018

We are having exactly the same problem!! It’s disgusting how some people think they can bully u over who Uve chose to have at YOUR day! Honestly ignore them put ur head up high and move on xxx

Louise Barker
Louise Barker 2 Feb 2018

Your wedding, your gueat list. Do what's right for you. It's too big a day for you and you need to let so called adults sort themselves out

Beverley Lennon
Beverley Lennon 4 Feb 2018

A member uploaded image

Sandy Smith
Sandy Smith 4 Feb 2018

Hi is anyone getting married abroad ? My dream wedding has always been on a lovely sandy beach. But worried if family and maybe close friends would be up for it. Would have reception back home after. Also how expensive would it be ❤❤

Jenna Hexley
Jenna Hexley 5 Feb 2018

Ahhh im in a similar boat, at first I was a little unsure/worried how it would go down etc, my approach now is that I won't even be discussing it. There are clearly reasons for you not inviting people and im sure its not a decision you've taken lightly. Your wedding day is not the time to be worrying about other people's drama xx

.Melanie Brice
.Melanie Brice 5 Feb 2018

All the men in my family are arseholes so iv just invited the women who can be civilised and nice. I have 1 uncle attending if he is well enough because he has respect for my wishes and me the rest can go jump I'm not spending OUR day worrying about anything unnecessary like family who can't act properly

Comment

Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?