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UKbride Member Request 27 Jan 2018

I’ve taken my mum dress shopping with me, but what she thinks is ‘me’...

I’ve taken my mum dress shopping with me, but what she thinks is ‘me’ really isn’t. I love the big Cinderella type dresses, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t feel like me, they feel like me in dress up, and I feel massive in them. Every time I try a dress that I love I get that look of disappointment from her, and it puts me off the dress, even though I know I’ll never wear anything like she wants me to. What do I do?

38 Comments
Tessa Lok
Tessa Lok 27 Jan 2018

Take someone else with you! Lol! But seriously, you can keep trying on dresses, maybe change up the style - try on styles (there are many other than cinderella!) that you wouldn't have picked at first glance just to see how it looks on you because you might change your or her mind! I'm not taking my mum dress shopping because...I'm not going for a white dress =P
Ultimately, don't let her rule your wedding, OK? She's not wearing the dress so unless she's paying, she doesn't get a say. If she IS paying, try the different styles thing.

Tessa Lok
Tessa Lok 27 Jan 2018

Also, bring a friend for support next time!

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 27 Jan 2018

I completely agree with Tessa.

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 27 Jan 2018

Take a few people and explain to your mum you love those dresses so she needs to be more open minded x

Tracey Selmes
Tracey Selmes 27 Jan 2018

Stick to what you like and feel yourself in. I had a similar experience, wedding dress shops telling me what I should wear which was the opposite of what I wanted. I went elsewhere and only took one person with me and found my dress. It's the total opposite of what everyone thought. So pick your maid of honour or if you have a sister take them. Tell them what you are looking for and what you want to avoid. After all you are the one wearing it. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

I had this.... Ended up going on my own! I felt so much better and like my own reaction was real rather than based on someone else's face! Ended up going back to one of the dresses I tried on while my mum was there and felt amazing in it couldn't stop smiling! It's how u feel in it that matters xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Take someone else with you or go on you're own

dawn tyrer
dawn tyrer 27 Jan 2018

I'm having a similar problem but have now gone on my own and can't find a dress i want x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

I’m taking my maid of honour and best friend, I know I will get honesty. Good luck x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Go by yourself. That way,it's only your opinion. People will always put their own taste into things so don't give them the chance

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Try every style you can on and then you can rule out the styles you don’t like or don’t feel suits you. Good luck dress shopping x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

It's you're dress and your wedding, wear what you love and feel comfortable in.

Sam Leckey
Sam Leckey 27 Jan 2018

Go on your own and pick something you think you look good in and feel good in. Set a budget and let the shop assistant pick lots of dresses for you to try on. If you want your mum to be involved go back and try the dress on and ask for her opinion. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

This was kind of me too, I ended up liking the opposite of what I thought but still didn't find one that I wanted to wear. It ended up though my mum just wanting me to find a dress after trying on far too many to number! So maybe she'll come round...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

I’m going to go on my own, I’m a people pleaser at heart!! So need to decide what I want!! Don’t be frightened to go on your own and decided what you would like x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Take photos of you in both types of dresses & keep looking back at them, you may decide you actually prefer what you thought wasn’t your style, either way you’ll know what you really want if you still like it when you look back at the photos after a week or 2 x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

When i was younger i dreamed of a big fairytale wedding dress but when i tried them on i felt the same frumpy so went with a fishtale and still felt like a princess all day. Just remember its your day so need to feel comfortable and dont want to look back at your wedding pics with any regrets xx

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

I went on my own most of the time, I didn't want to be influenced by anyone else. The only problem with going alone is that some of the places I went to I got the feeling they weren't taking me seriously and they thought I was playing 'dress up'

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

I only took my best friend. I didn't want anyone putting down what I wanted. I showed my friend all the ones I liked online so she had an idea of my vision. No one will know what my dress looks like til the day when they can keep.their opinions to themselves.
If it's what you like and vision for your day stay strong and stick to it. Good luck x

Danielle Ryde
Danielle Ryde 27 Jan 2018

I took my nan and my mum they didn't agree on a lot but there was the one they agreed on which was the one I fell in love with maybe take a friend or someone as well as ur mum u might be surprised

Kirsty Normington
Kirsty Normington 27 Jan 2018

I went dress shopping on my own so there were no influences. Then made an appointment to take my Mum and mother in law to be. They both adore my choice 💕

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Follow your heart and pick a dress for YOU!
You have to wear it, you have to feel comfortable in it, you have to love it and you have to make sure you don't look back and regret your decision!
Good luck with your dress hunt X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Go dress shopping without her. She has no right to make you feel bad for not wanting to wear the dress she wants

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Get the one you want and the one you feel comfortable in! It’s your wedding and you don’t want to look back at photos and regret buying a dress your mum liked but you didn’t!! When I went shopping my mum preferred a different dress to the one I chose, but I went with the one I felt happiest in! Xx

Sarah Pollard
Sarah Pollard 27 Jan 2018

Go shopping on your own without mum ....& without friends ... I did !
.... Once you discover THE dress ,
Return with Trustworthy Safe Friends to see if they back up what you think .
Warm wishes for locating your one
Love Sarah xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

Take someone else with you or try on what she suggests. My MOH and me had completely different ideas of what was the best look for me, I took three of my choices of one of hers to try on and “the one” was the huge princess dress she picked and I fell in love the second I stepped into it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

I went recently with my mum and sister. I tried one style and wasn't convinced and the shop assistant put me in something different. I loved it, I could tell Mum wasn't sure. But... I am paying for my dress, I felt good and I know my fiance will like it. No one else matters!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 27 Jan 2018

At the end of the day it is your decision what dress you wear no one elses. You get what you like and makes you comfortable.
My mother and I have completely different tatses she is more girly girly and im more tom boy. She would prefer I wore a big poofy dress or something with lost of lace but I hate that sort of thing. She things what I like isnt nice but its me thats getting married so its my choice.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Jan 2018

I went on my own. my daughter had seen dress in shop window and said mum I've seen your dress. I tried it on and loved it. xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Jan 2018

Take someone else with you who will be more positive about your choices!
My mum & sister have a different style to me, they didn’t love my dress but I did! You’re the one wearing it so get the one you love! I didn’t care what anyone else thought, it was my wedding so my choice.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Jan 2018

It's your day, buy what dress you want, not what others want

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Jan 2018

I was worried about this as I'm quite small and petite. So I went to a store and just tried every style of dress whether I liked the actual dress or not, just so I knew what suited me best x

Sonja Gibson
Sonja Gibson 28 Jan 2018

Its your dress try something you like on. Shes not wearing it you are. Xx

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 29 Jan 2018

Take someone else with you or go on your own - having another opinion can be helpful - but can be equally unhelpful. Chose a dress that you love and feel comfortable in

Sonia Overfield
Sonia Overfield 29 Jan 2018

I went shopping on my own first and found my dress then took my mom back and put the dress back on with all the accessories on

Stephanie Bedford
Stephanie Bedford 29 Jan 2018

I’ve gone with my friends to try on some different styles that I knew I wouldn’t like, so I can at least say I’ve tried them and decide for myself first what I will like. I can now take that idea with me when I go with my Mum and Nan, and I’m also taking a friend with who saw me try those dresses on who saw my expression knowing I wasn’t happy in them. She’s also going to keep the peace 😆 xx

Kelly Tomkins
Kelly Tomkins 13 Feb 2018

Thanks ladies. I decided to take a friend with me instead of my mum. After 3 dress shops with her, she was determined to have me in a huge ball gown, and i'm just not comfortable in them.
So i have an appointment in 2 weeks to try on dresses that i had initially sworn off, but am now going to try!

Mary Green
Mary Green 15 Feb 2018

You need to put others opinions to the side and concentrate on yourself, if your friends/mum isn’t helping and making you anxious about what to wear, then go alone. The bridal consultants will know what suits your shape & will be honest, they can tell if you don’t feel comfortable or like it. Take their advice. Also what about taking your H2B, I know it’s against “the rules” but so be bit, take him along he will tell you EXACTLY what he thinks & how he likes to show you off in particular dresses, you don’t even have to show him the one your getting so avoids all that “bad luck” ... try on a few that he likes and then you choose on your own what one you will go for! Don’t feel bad about going alone either, at the end of the day it is YOUR DAY AND YOUR DRESS!!

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