UKbride Member Request 15 Jan 2018

At my wits end with it all now. I really just want to cancel everything the...

At my wits end with it all now. I really just want to cancel everything the wedding and the hen party. My bridesmaids have arranged for a group of us to go Butlins the first weekend in February. This was first arranged back in August last year. The only people that complained were my Nan and my Aunt saying it was too expensive as they have to pay for rooms at the actual wedding. (Like the rest of the people invited don't have to do that). So they didn't come so everything else carried on as usual, and everyone else paid up the final balance back in December. This weekend we had an email from Butlins advising there would be a security deposit requested on arrival which is £100 per booking so it works out £10 each between us all. After this my mum messaged me asking what was going with the hen party and not to pay the £10. Before I had a chance to reply she called me saying she wanted her money back from the booking and no longer wanted to come as she didn't want to put anymore money into it. The deposit she will get back, I've spoken to her twice about it and she is now adamant that she doesn't want to come. Which for me means out of all the people I invited the only ones not turning up are my own family including my own mum. Just to make things worse my bridesmaid sent me a message to her from my mum asking for photos as she wanted to put a book together. Really just want to cancel it all, every issue stems back to my family and them complaining about something or other, I really feel like nothing is every good enough for them and they really don't want anything to be about other people.

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 15 Jan 2018

Unfortunately family are usually the ones who upset us most because we care about them. You are upset and angry but maybe if you stand back and relook at things you can reorganise it in your mind. If they have decided to be stroppy and not come then that is their decision. You will probably have a better time without them anyway if they are going to spend their time moaning. Go with your friends who want to be there and enjoy yourself. When they see the photos those who have cancelled will be sorry they didn't go and that is then their problem. Good luck.

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 15 Jan 2018

Hi most brides only invite their friend on hens and stags anyway :)

Rachel Rice
Rachel Rice 15 Jan 2018

Honestly don't worry about it I know it's hard but try and enjoy yourself x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Jan 2018

Perhaps offer to pay the £10 just for your mum. To be honest I’d just go ahead and make the most of it, if they choose not to go they’re the only ones missing out.

Sarah Pope
Sarah Pope 16 Jan 2018

Honey its your day, its about you not anybody else and for the things they miss, they will have to regret it as you have given them every chance. Me and my brother are both getting married within the next 12 months. His wife to be has issues as her father isn't happy jointly giving her away with the step dad who has done so much for her and is now not only not coming but stopped his daughter being a bridesmaid. Iv had my dress damaged on way through delivery and waiting for another. Theory goes the more stress and hardest parts of the wedding planning makes a longer marriage. Your family loves you even if they don't show it very well but its on them to sort themselves out. You are the important person in this and they need to step up, not you step down xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Jan 2018

Think you need to be reminded of who this is all about and that's you. Tell them not to bother and go and have fun with the others.

Melaina Woodend
Melaina Woodend 16 Jan 2018

I feel so bad for you with this! Me and my partner booked a place for our wedding and a few of our family members have said how selfish we are for choosing a places that’s expensive for our guests (price of drinks etc), we just need to think that the people who care will go, and if they don’t it’s their loss! ❤️

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 19 Jan 2018

Unfortunately a lot of families are like this and you are never going to please everyone. I have had some similar issues however my attitude is ‘this is for me so I am going to have a great time and if someone doesn’t like it or doesn’t want to join in that’s their problem’ I have found this soon shuts up those who have moaned. Go and have a fab time with your friends, it’s their you makes you happy,

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 22 Jan 2018

Its all about you. I have the same problem with my mum. My friends wanted us to all go to this adult bounce thing and it sounded so amazing but my mum couldnt go as shes not very young and cant move around as much. She wants to be involved but doesnt have a lot of money. Try talking to your friends and family altogether to find an easy and cheap way to enjoy your hen do if you really need your mum there like i do. But do remember it is YOUR hen night x just do whats best for you x

Dianne Few
Dianne Few 24 Jan 2018

I agree with most of the comments above - its your wedding and the people who are going to miss out are the people who will most regret not being part of your build up. If you can afford it offer the extra £10 to your mum if she still digs her heels in the tell her you will be the one missing the fun of a hen do and whilst I really want you there thats your choice and your loss. Then go on and enjoy yourself with your friends x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Jan 2018

My mother and sister ruined my hen weekend, thinking back now I really wish I hadn’t asked them to come. Do what feels right for you x


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