Hiya I'd like to appeal the page for some advice please.... My best friend of 12 years got physically abused by her controlling boyfriend on Christmas day. Police involved and she moved out. She has since discovered she is pregnant. Approx 6 weeks. She has already informed me that she will not be attending my wedding which is in grease. It has really upset me that she could drop me and the wedding that easily especially when she isn't that far on. I'm angry and annoyed and I feel like I don't want to be her friend anymore, am I overreacting. Don't get me wrong I am happy she is having a baby. I'm not entirely sure this is page for my query but just thought I'd give it a shot.
I'm so sorry to hear all this and can completely understand that you feel so let down. However, if you can stand back for a few moments and think about how your friend must feel ... bullied and violated. It will have taken courage for her to move out even in those circumstances and she is still likely scared. Then she is pregnant by the person who she can least trust or be near. She is probably feeling very alone and overwhelmed.
I don't see how soon your wedding is but goodness knows how muddled she is feeling and the whole wedding thing may just be too overwhelming for her to deal with.
If your wedding is soon, please be understanding even if you find it difficult. If it is some time away then maybe she will come round when she has time to think.
Remember that a true friendship works both ways.
It’s hard to say since you haven’t mentioned when your wedding is actually taking place but If I am completely honest with you, my initial thought is I don’t think this is unreasonable of her. I know your wedding is an important part of your life and I am sure she would love to be there (this was probably a hard decision for her to make as well) but this is also an important part of her life and she now has someone other than herself to think about. Babies are expensive and having just left her horrible boyfriend she’s going to be a single mum - this is going to be hard physically, emotionally and financially for her. I can understand your sadness and disappointment that your best friend won’t be at your wedding but you need to look at this from her perspective, she has to now do best by her child and make that her priority. Take some time to calm down but don’t shut her out - sounds like she been through a hard enough time recently, she will need her best friend x
Your friend is the one who needs a good friend right now. Imagine how dreadful her life must be right now. You should be angry about what she has been through. Isn't that what friends are for?
I think you are being totally unreasonable. She has had her life turned upside down and is facing being a single mother to the child of her abuser. I know your wedding day is special but this is her life. She is going to be needing to spend her money on providing a warm safe home for her baby. You need to stop being petulant and support this poor lady .
I agree with Carly
It’s being a best friend worth so much. I have a best friend of nearly 30 years and we have been through so much and no matter what has happened in her life I’ll always stand by her. She won’t be attending my wedding and I’m gutted but shell still be my friend her not attending my wedding it’s the end of the world. A best friend isn’t reguired to attend your wedding. Take a thought to how her life has turned upside down and how you would feel I’m her situation rather than the small things
I think you are being completely unreasonable. Thisbis the most 'bridezilla' comment I have ever seen. Your friend needs you and you are letting her down. Plus some people are very cautious about going on flights whilst pregnant which I can totally understand.