I need help and fast! Haha So basically my H2B’s family have made comments on how I haven’t chosen his two cousins to be bridesmaids at our wedding. We are getting married in 2019 and by that time they’ll be 17 & 19. I already have 5 who I have asked, one being my sister and 4 of my best friends. I have also had a conversation with two of my good school friends on how I can’t afford to have them. How do I address this to his side of the family? Am I being unreasonable? I don’t want to upset anyone, but it’s our Wedding and I don’t want to be made to feel bad for not choosing his family.
I really don’t understand why families feel the need to butt in on peoples plans and cause unnecessary stress, it’s YOUR wedding and they need to understand that you’ve already chosen your bridesmaids. Do you have female cousins on your side? If so then it would be unfair on them to not be chosen when you have his cousins, can you see how this would go in circles and you’d have multiple bridesmaids.
Just go with your first choice that you’re happy with :)
Hi Hayley. It is your day, don't let them interfere too much. Take them to one side and just say, you have already asked the people you wanted for your bridesmaids and that they are the only people you would like.
Your day, your choice
Your wedding! Your choice! Your day!
Oh tell them to shut up! I can't abide people sticking their noses into other people's weddings! You can't have an endless number of bridesmaids - as well as it costing a fortune, it doesn't really look right to have too many. Take them aside and tell them you've chosen your number. Tbh I'd have thought your H2B would have said something to them.
It's your day so have you the heck you want. I don't think anyone should expect to be a bridesmaid whether they are family or not
Why not get them to play a part in your day do a reading or read a poem etc not bridesmaids but then they're involved
I got married 2 weeks ago Big advice do not bend over backwards for other people do what You want and nobody else because I wish I did and not just do this or that to be nice x
It’s nothing to do with anyone else tbh you’re paying x
One advice I have been given over and over, do what you want, invite who you want!
how often and how close are his family to.these cousins?
either way its your choice who you have.
he has his choice of grooms men.
tell his family that you.have chosen the ones you are close to and have known for a long while.
don't mention cost or they may offer to pay for them.
either that or just ignore their comments
Tell them to shut up or fuck off.
Unless he's gone out of his way to include your male relatives in his grooms men, or his family are footing the bill, ( in which case there could be a quid pro quo type situation) I really don't see that it's a reasonable request. Be gentle but firm. Say no.
Jeez! That is so unreasonable of them! Unless his cousins are YOUR best friends, why would you have them? I'm sure they're lovely ladies, but you have your own ladies to ask (and have done so). You have to draw the line somewhere else there'll be more people walking down the aisle than in the congregation! Haha! Your wedding=your choice!
Just simply say. You didn't want family as bridesmaids apart from the exception of your sister. I'm having my two children and my 3 God children as bridesmaids and page boy at mine. No family members. As too many on my side of the family. It's your decision to have who you want. Just as it's your husband to be to decide who his groomsmen will be.
It's your day but if they are really that put out explain that you cant afford another two bridesmaids and you havent picked cousins on your side but if they want to foot the entire cost of the cousins being bridesmaids then fine
Tell them you are sticking to the traditional rules where the bridesmaids are only from the bride's side and stand your ground!
I have lots of younger children (girls) who I am having involved as giving out button holes, order of service and speaking parts at the ceremony or evening - I am sticking to 3 bridesmaids.
Tell them what you told your other 2 friends.
You are absolutely not being unreasonable! You are the bride, so it’s YOUR bridal party. I really dislike those kind of families who insist on choosing their family to play roles that are not their place to do so. Stick to your guns! If they don’t like it, they don’t have to go xx
Its really up to you who you have as bridesmaids - when has it ever been a rule that your H2B's cousins have to be bridesmaids? It should be the people closest to you and whom you trust to help you with your day.
Do people really expect to be bridesmaids at their male cousin's wedding? Sounds like people are stirring up trouble for the sake of it...
I think you just need to explain that you are only having people associated with you for a long time as part of the bridal party...the grooms party will be people associated with you but you are looking forward to bringing the families together once you are married. They will get over it. Be thick skinned, it’s your wedding xx
don't let them push you into doing something you don't want to do. it's your day and your and choice.