UKbride Member Request 28 Nov 2017

Just wanting opinions... I have invited a family that I know, they have...

Just wanting opinions... I have invited a family that I know, they have been family friends forever, this couple have 5 and I have been told I must invite the kids, probably not all of them will come as a couple are grown up anyway. Well I've just got my RSVP back and 6 of them are coming. (we are already 6 people over, which we will have to pay extra for) But the thing that got me was the meal choices, I've offered tomato soup or cheese and onion tart to start, roast chicken roast salmon or a veggie option for main and chocolate fudge cake or sticky toffee pudding for dessert. I thought they were quite mild choices. I have done it so the kids get a smaller version of the adult meals as I know a couple of people who are coming don't give their children processed meats. I thought what kid doesn't eat a bit of roast chicken?? I'm fuming. Apparently she's asked where the nearest McDonald's is and on the RSVPS 5 out of 6 have requested no starter 2 requested no main meal and 2 have requested no vegetables. If this was me I would just pick something even if I didn't eat it because at the end of the day it's free food??? I just think its so rude and insulting that they are going to be sat there eating nothing until the cake???

E Wilson
E Wilson 28 Nov 2017

Does seem a little rude. I would be annoyed. They would be better off being evening guests.

Emma Pearson
Emma Pearson 28 Nov 2017

If they are family friends can you talk to your mum or dad or another family member about it? See what they say. It seems a waste of money too for you paying for food they won't eat.

Jasmine Knott
Jasmine Knott 28 Nov 2017

My mum and my grandma have been trying to push me into changing my menu so the kids have nuggets!!!
My partner and I are livid, I think if it comes down to it I'm going to tell them they are taking up space and I'm not paying for them to just eat cake! I know it will upset the apple cart I guess but I think it may be the only option. There's no way I'm changing the menu. I'm also annoyed that a grown woman has requested no veg!! Its not offensive just leave it on the side!! *eyeroll*

Emma Richardson
Emma Richardson 28 Nov 2017

I’ve not giving my guests a choice it’s a set three course meal or vegetarian choice , kids get a kids roast dinner.. For the reason I’m not asking everyone what they want to eat they aren’t paying for it and
It’s easier for the venue to make set meals.. I’m sorry to me it is tough don’t like it don’t eat...

Nicole Harris
Nicole Harris 29 Nov 2017

We decided on a bbq for this exact reason. I helped my sister-in-law with her wedding 3 years ago and she asked people what they would like and it was a disaster. People on the day were swapping meals on the table amongst themselves which I think really upset her but at least the food was eaten. If they dont want starters or mains then dont pay for their meal. Try speaking to your parents and ask them to speak to them and explain how much money will be wasted if they are going to waste the food. X

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 29 Nov 2017

It is rude - I am getting a little fed up of a few rude guests of my own. They would be better off as evening guests - as mostly likely the venue will make you pay full price for them to eat and then they don't eat anything. If they are a family friend maybe get your parents to speak to them and explain the situation if you are not overly comfortable doing it yourself.

Lauren Keable
Lauren Keable 29 Nov 2017

If people really don't like the menu they would just eat what they like off their plates. It is rude and I would be quite upset over it too. However, if they are close family friends I would mention it to them as you have to pay for it all. Maybe the kids could just come to the evening x

Sophie Cartwright
Sophie Cartwright 29 Nov 2017

I personally have advised no children are invited as a result of this. It’s your day, not theirs, it’s about you and what you want you menu is more than accommodating. Very rude, I’d politely advise them they won’t be able to attend due to being over capacity. Maybe next time they’ll take what they’re given and like it like the rest of us would :)

Victoria Young
Victoria Young 30 Nov 2017

Well tough titties!
They get what they’re given and if they don’t like it, don’t eat it!
I would tell the MacDonalds lot to not bring it into the venue as some venues can be very funny about outside food brought in and it could cause a backlash with other children there.

Rachel Turnbull
Rachel Turnbull 30 Nov 2017

I wouldn’t have invited the kids 🙈 no one is telling me who I should and shouldn’t invited to my wedding!! And I’ve only invited nieces and nephews, no other children have been invited.

My sister has recently got into a new relationship and between them they have 9 children. If I invited her entire family, they take up a whole table just their family. I didn’t want to upset anyone but at the end of the day she’s not paying, I am.. So I have invite her, her partner and my sisters 4 kids only not her partners 5.
If money wasn’t a question they’d all be there, of course they would, but it’s just not possible with 9 children 😞

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

If people dont want to eat because they are fussy fuckers leave them to it and let them starve or bring thier own sarnies to eat in the car! All that matters is you and your partner are happy other people will make do its only one meal they will have to have a big breakfast!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

Yes it is rude and insulting but not worth getting in a flap over. Just point them to maccys and tell them to eat it there and carry on with your day. Giving them a rise is prob what I want I know people like that

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

Why must you invite tbem. Who told you. Its your invite who you want .
Nothing wrong with menu either. Very nice.
Gwt i touch and tell them.that venue will not allow McDonalds to be brought in.
Also.tell.them their request is making things difficult to arrange nd causing problems.
If you dont want them.there uninvited them to reception and have them to.evening do instead.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

We are having a set menu, no choices at all. All we are doing different is for those that have specific dietary requirements, ie gluten free, vegetarian etc. No hassle that way, if they don't like it they can lump it. It's my day and I'm not going to pander to picky people lol. Xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

This is why we're going down the pub for lunch after :)

Catherine Louise Brophy
Louise Brophy 30 Nov 2017

Omg how absolutely rude who the hell do they think they are it's your wedding they can eat what they are given.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

I’d say sorry it’s evening I ment to invite u to

Don’t waste money on food for people to act like that
Ps your menu sounds lush

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

When I went to my cousins wedding, it was a really posh place and didn't start till 1 so we would be travelling there at lunchtime. So I stopped at McDonald's on the way there. So the kids could get something to eat then if they didn't like what they were having for the wedding meal then at least the had had something to eat. So when the meal came they ate bit of everything, never made a fuss. I don't see the point in making a fuss about the meal after all it is the bride and grooms day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

While I do think it's a bit rude, try to look at it from another angle. I am an extremely picky eater. While I have no problem leaving things on the plate that I don't like, I do try to avoid wasting food if I can. Granted a wedding isn't the place to do this.
Having said that, they may be trying to be helpful. Not everyone understands how the pricing is done. They may think that by not getting something (be it a starter or main that they won't eat anyhow) that you won't have to pay for it and would thereby save you a bit of money.

Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
Siobhan Knight-Potgieter 30 Nov 2017

This is incredibly rude ! If she can’t get her children to eat that’s her issue not yours. Is she really worth the extra money if she’s wound you up this much B x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

Their choice to sit and eat nothing although ur right a bit ungrateful... but don't worry bout it if they go hungry it's their problem..

Stacee Humphrey
Stacee Humphrey 30 Nov 2017

I’m having a gigantic buffet with all meats, sides, vegetarian options, kid food and different deserts as I wouldn’t be able to handle that dilemma. Just invite them to evening. Saves you the extra money, they can find a place they like to eat and all is happy. They might just think by them not having certain parts of the menu that they might be saving money. Some people don’t actually know you pay her head and not per meal. Just do what’s best for you, because after all that’s all that matters 🙂

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

If offer them to skip the day and go to evening

Sammi Louise
Sammi Louise 30 Nov 2017

I think if I had a reply like that I'd tell them not to bother coming if I'm honest. It's just plain rude

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

Um... what do McDonald's do that's less processed than roast chicken?!

Stephanie Wood
Stephanie Wood 30 Nov 2017

That's so rude. I'd tell them to go to McDonalds and come back for the evening do when the meal is over. Just respond with a no we can not facilitate your request and give them the option of food or no food. My guests aren't having a choice. I've asked for dietary requirements and the will be a meat option, a vegetarian option and possibly specialist food if required to fit dietary requirements. I've been to so many weddings and not had a choice so figured this is our time to choose what we want. We are trying to be safe with options but at the end of the day it's us that are paying so they can eat it or leave it. There will be a buffet later on if they choose not to eat it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

Tell.them.they can't bring McDonald's into.reception

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

if your child would not eat anything from the menu what would you do? it is fussy and rude on their part, especially when you have a million other things to worry about, but no one would want a child to go hungry. Weddings can be so stressful and sometimes it is easier to pick your battles and this is one I would not fight over. All you need to do is inform the caterer.. on they day you probably won't notice and neither will others... so just over principle is it worth you being more stressed?

hope you work things out x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Dec 2017

They don't eat processed meat (roast chicken) but they eat McDonald's?!

Siobhan Brasier
Siobhan Brasier 1 Dec 2017

That is so rude and you have every right to be livid!

We debated about doing a choice menu but in the end just went with safe options (French onion soup, chicken and veg (and risotto of veggies) and a chocolate brownie) and then a kids meal. If people didn’t give us dietary needs we didn’t do anything special for them and things like eating veggies were up to them! We were very lucky that the food at our venue was amazing and people can’t stop talking about it, but even if that wasn’t the case I would mind because pickiness like that is just rude and insulting! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Dec 2017

Well its simple (as im dealing with everything on my own wedding)... They either pick whats on the menu - as its ur wedding - they get choice over whats available... If there is nothing they "like" or can't just get on with it for YOUR big day... Then way have them there at all.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 1 Dec 2017

This is crazy! I can't believe someone would request no veg?! Especially for kids!! If it was me, I would show the response to my parents and say that is the reason I didn't want them to come. Then respond to them and say they might as well just come to the evening.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 2 Dec 2017

I'm sorry to day, friends or not friends, on my wedding day the choice was the choice, end of. I changed a main to have no mushrooms for 2 people with allergies, and the kids had the choice between a smaller size of the main, or nuggets, chops and beans etc. If anyone had come back to me with that about McDonald's I'd have said that I have very limited spaces to the daytime, so if you won't be eating the good, then I will give your places to other family members that would love the chance to be there. We will see you at the evening do. Tbh, I had little hassles really with my wedding, I think they all kind of know that it was what it was and I would just uninvite people if they were too picky, it's just my usual harsh nature

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 3 Dec 2017

I'd downgrade them to evening only! That is so rude of them!! I booked tables at our local Toby carvery as despite having a small wedding we had a fair share of fussy eaters and allergies to contend with, it was just so much easier for us! We opted out of literally everything that was fussy to make everything easier


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