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UKbride Member Request 26 Nov 2017

When deciding on our guest list we decided that because my partners family...

When deciding on our guest list we decided that because my partners family is so big and so many of them have children that we would only be inviting children included in the bridal party and those of close friends, now everyone has received their invites some family members are complaining because their child is not invited and it's causing agro between everyone. Do we now change the plan to keep everyone happy (this would take the number of children from 5 to 17) or stick to our guns?? Help.

67 Comments
Rhiannon Cumine
Rhiannon Cumine 27 Nov 2017

We're just getting onto that, same problem with large families! As much as we would like to have the few kids we know and see regularly there, leaning towards just not having any to same any animosity and we hope they'll understand. 😊

Sara-Louise Merrills
Sara-Louise Merrills 27 Nov 2017

I’m gonna hit the same problem... luckily most of the People invited to ours are quite understanding

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 27 Nov 2017

Hi it depends on your financial circumstances if you invite them or not :)

Steph V
Steph V 27 Nov 2017

It’s your wedding and you decide who you want their not your guests. We’re only inviting children in the wedding party because my budget doesn’t stretch that far and are only able to invite a certain amount, but If my guests started complaining about it they obviously do not understand a wedding costs a fortune and that we can only invite certain amount of guests. They’ll be invited to the evening though.
It’s your wedding you decide not them :)

Chloé Roe
Chloé R 27 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns. Its completely your decision as its your wedding day.

Chloe Mitchell
Chloe Mitchell 27 Nov 2017

To stop this argument we have said no children even to those of close friends and family

Hayley Ledger
Hayley Ledger 27 Nov 2017

I feel like i’ll be at this exact point later down the line. I honestly feel like it’s your wedding, and you make the decisions. Stick to your guns and I’m sure it’ll work out fine in the end x

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 28 Nov 2017

As long as you are being fair tot he same groups of people on both sides then stick to your guns. For example it would be unfair if your cousins are allowed to bring kids and your husbands cousins can't. You will get people who are upset that they can't bring there children, and in which case they might not come too, but don't change your plan if that is what you were happy with.

Rhian Priest-Dibben
Rhian Priest-Dibben 28 Nov 2017

Children are only like £25 a head for food and drink so we are happy for all kids to come to ours!

Rhian Priest-Dibben
Rhian Priest-Dibben 28 Nov 2017

I myself am an Auntie to 7, and am so looking forward to them all being there. It completely depends on who you want and if you can afford it. Don't give it in anyone else.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We can only have 56 day guests, so sadly we won't be able to invite everyone's children, just our 3 and then immediate family x

Hazel Cottrell
Hazel Cottrell 28 Nov 2017

really simple answer: your wedding, your choice!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Your wedding do.it your way. If people don't like it then they don't come.
Children's meals still.cost money and if your on a budget you can't afford them.all.
Stick to yiur guns or don't have any children attend at all

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We’ve done he same as you. My family is really big and most cousins etc have 2-3 kids each, if I invited kids too there would be more children than adults so we’ve stuck to bridal party children only. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We are only inviting the children of our day guests, mainly due to a limit on numbers at the venue, but we kind of figured our evening guests could manage a night out without their children. Don't be bullied by others in to changing your plans, if that is what works for you x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We stuck to our guns, however we only had our son and my niece (She was flower girl) i think if you open it to close friends then you should open it up to everyone x

Suki Charlton
Suki Charlton 28 Nov 2017

We're doing my childen my sisters children, my partners brothers children and that's it! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns 100%

Angie Norris
Angie Norris 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

No. I had the same problem, I stuck by my guns it is your wedding!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We aren’t having any children either xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

It's your wedding. If you don't want them there, stick to your guns!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns! I'm an auntie to 8 and can't wait to have them at my wedding. But when we looked at cousins kids and friends kids coming to our evening do there was going to be potentially 40 kids there! I love kids but can't imagine that many kids running around at my evening do so we've said bridal party only. If someone has a problem with it I would rather they not be at my wedding as at the end of the day it's our day and we are paying for it and simply can't afford to have 140 guests at our evening do when our package caters for just 80.

Josephine Parkinson
Josephine Parkinson 28 Nov 2017

We stuck to our guns. If they want to be there they will come without their children and find child care.

Danielle Thomson
Danielle Thomson 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns its your day and there is always someone complaining so where do you draw the line, plus every wedding ive been to its only been bridal party kids anyway. who wants to take the kids when your out drinking all day you dont take them out on a night out

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns. The people who matter will be there. Its quite common for weddings to be adult only. Do what you want not what makes others happy

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns Hun xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to what you want, it’s your day. Your not doing it to make everyone else happy, it’s yours and your fiancé special time. Tell them to like it and lump it, your the one paying for the wedding. Good luck

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We will have 19 children at our Wedding and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 6 of them will be in the bridal party. I am also having someone to come and entertain the children between the afternoon and the evening when we have to change the room around for the evening.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We are only inviting children of family. Not friends, that way, no arguments!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Wish I had got my way and not invited kids lol .. only the one ruined the day with bad behaviour, trashing the place and gatecrashing the top table mid speeches .... stick to your guns or you’ll just regret it ... although not all days guests stay for the evening do so it kinda evens itself out

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

5 children at my wedding would be a breeze. So would 17. I have 28!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Your wedding your choice, I’m having 25 children at my wedding and most of them r family but I love kids and think they r very entertaining at weddings. I think it’s different for everyone, if I didn’t have 2 kids myself we probably would have had a child free wedding x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

stick to your guns its a wedding not a kids party they would be running about bored and fed up

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

The problem you have some people may only leave there kids with family (I do) and if all family members go some may not be able to get baby sitters xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

its tricky with family because if they are all invited then who watches everyones children while you get married? if this is the case then for practical reasons you may want to reconsider. However, if this is not the case and if you said no kids because you want a wedding without kids running about or cannot afford to add so many on then stick to your guns x

Emma Harvey
Emma Harvey 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns. I gave the option of the children coming to the party in the evening, being dropped off by whoever had them. They are usually bored until then anyway.

Claire Newstead
Claire Newstead 28 Nov 2017

My wedding has a no children rule apart from my 2 nieces and nephew. My family is huge, my fiance's family is huge, if we were to invite everyone and their kids we'd be looking at near 500 people!! I'm not paying for that! No way! No how! If they can't accept YOUR decision on YOUR day then I would revoke the invite if it's that much trouble for them. People have months to figure out sitters etc it's not like you're asking them the day before to find someone!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

No way would I have 17 children at my wedding! It was pulsing be bedlam. Stick to your guns! It's your day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We have 4 boys between us and 5 nieces with 1 more niece/nephew due a couple of months before the wedding. We are only having those 10 at the wedding no family beyond siblings will have children invited and no friends either. We are having a super informal wedding and quite small so to have more than those 10 children would just be totally over powering for ourselves and our other guests. We have also arranged with family to have the children leave by a set time (still to be decided) so that the adults will be able to let their hair down and enjoy themselves without the kids running around xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns. If that what you planned don’t let anyone change your mind x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

It's your day! Don't let other people dictate what happens on your big day xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We r only having our son and my niece and nephews (3) and my partners cousins twins. Not even close friends children and I have spoken with them and totally understand (some are even happy to be child free!) I would say stick to your guns. It's ur day xxc

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Went to no kids wedding a few years ago and it was lovely! Stick to your guns it’s your wedding.

Stephanie Smith
Stephanie Smith 28 Nov 2017

It's your wedding have whoever you want there but be prepared for people to not come. We are having children at our wedding I will be having 3 2 year olds in the bridal party. My H2B has a huge family and so when working out numbers if we can't fit the children in we are not inviting them (1 cousin on his side has 6 children). We only have 40 day guests (excluding under 3s) and 80 evening so have only asked family and friends that we see and therefore know the children. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

No. It’s your wedding not theirs. Politely explain this to them.

Catherine Louise Brophy
Louise Brophy 28 Nov 2017

At the end of the day you can't please everyone it's your wedding do exactly as you want.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We said immediate family children only for this very reason, people have time to sort childcare and the few who couldnt are coming to the evening where all children are welcome, it's ok people huffing and demanding but they aren't paying for it and the costs can escalate, there's always some who won't be happy no matter what u do so suit yourselves x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns. We said only bridal party children to our wedding which is in May. Had a few complaints but I just explained to friends and family. Stick to your guns it’s your wedding

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

I know it seems like a lot, but trust me, I had lots of small kiddies at my wedding and they played so lovely together, they were no bother, not expensive to cater for and also got everyone up and dancing when the entertainment started. If you feel like the only way to get some peace is to invite them all, I can tell you from experience you probably won't even notice them. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

The thing I find strangest about this is that you are only willing to have children from your family and bridal party attend, maybe it's just how you have worded it but I would of thought it would be more about how close you are to the children? To completely miss out all the children on his own family and not the your own, well I can see why people are upset.

My fiancé and I are not inviting children's from our families as we are just not close to any of them whatsoever, the few there are we have either seen them once or twice in their lives or not at all. We are however having two of our bestmens children attend, that will add up to 5 in total. That's enough for us

Best wishes for your future

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns. Your day. Your finances. Your choice.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We had a no child rule apart from bridal party (2 flower girls & page boy) because of this reason also; my husband has 10 nieces & nephews, my cousins have children & some of my friend's have children so this would have added up to about 40 guests which we could just not afford!!! We also wanted everybody to let their hair down & have a good time which most people were more than happy with. I'd say make it to bridal party only X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to ur guns... I had a few upset guests that children weren't invited to my wedding, until the day, when actually a much better time was had and people could let their hair down a bit. The only children at my wedding were mine. When we get invited to weddings we never take our children with us as we want to relax!! Maybe I'm selfish but I work to hard not to have a guilt free day off once in a while

Lisa Shoebridge
Lisa Shoebridge 28 Nov 2017

Me and my partner will only be invited our children n nieces n nephews. Total children will be 7. We physically won't be able to afford to invite cousins children. It would just be to expensive xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

I'm only having family kids (only 2/3 of them) and No one else as most of my co-workers have kids so would increase the head count a lot!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns! We are only having certain kids because otherwise it was going to end up like a kinder garden!!! On the day the parents may actually enjoy an evening off! 🥂

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns! Its your day not theirs the only kids that we will be having at ours will be neices and nephews, all other kids will only be invited to evening reception xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Nov 2017

We are having no children at our wedding including my cousins children not being invited.We took the decision that for the cost of inviting everyone’s children it would mean not being able to invite other guests we would want to come. Most people have been ok with our decision but we have had some people moan.Personally I wouldn’t change my mind on it, it’s our wedding and we have the right to do it our way.

Paige Warwick
Paige Warwick 29 Nov 2017

i have a mahoosive family & godchildren.. the amount of children in my side of the family around 16 and my partners side is around 3.. we are having immediate family children only then in the evening, the invites are inviting the children, but also going to mention that bringing children is up to their parents as i know some parents will enjoy a night off ! xxxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns! It's your wedding!! We got married in August and I requested on the invitations that it was immediate family children only I.e. our children, nieces and nephews, all of our friends and family accepted this as we explained we had a strict number of guests and could not accomodate them, I had a few people moan but I just explained if give in and let one extra child come others would be upset & unfortunately couldn't invite everyone

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Nov 2017

We had no children at our wedding.
1. I was not paying £30 a head for a child
2. Our venue had a lake and children had to be supervised at all times
3. At the time I didn’t really like children
And 4. I had a very small ceremony so would have ended up with more children than adults .
It’s yours wedding day so stick to your guns!! I had a mixed reaction, some were happy for a night off some were annoyed and didn’t come!

ADEL BALMFORTH
ADEL BALMFORTH 29 Nov 2017

We are not having children only in the wedding party. I am a childminder and 3 of the 5 are some of my minded children. It’s our choice and if the guests are not happy well sorry but it is our day. You guys should feel the same. I don’t understand why people complain they should be happy to be included in your big day and respect your decision xx

Amy Richardson
Amy Richardson 29 Nov 2017

We haven’t invited children either (again venue space being the reason - you have to draw the line somewhere)....and all but one couple has been supportive (in fact most of them are pleased that they have an excuse for a break).

The other couple have basically said they can’t come, which is fine, but now it’s broken down the friendship as they think we hate children 🤷🏼‍♀️

What baffles me is people’s sense of entitlement to be invited.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Nov 2017

I think it's so unfair to invite close friends children instead of partners family children. If I was your partner I would be fumming as to why you family children can go and not his yet close friends children can. Get rid off close friends kids would be my answer but then I wouldn't be selfish to invite my own and firends

Beth Busby
Beth Busby 29 Nov 2017

Stick to your guns 🙂

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Nov 2017

Let the kids come you miserable lot! We had 20 at ours and they all behaved impeccably. Played with each other, entertained themselves and joined in the day. Your friends have children, it's part of their life and what makes you friends with their kids too. Bring on the kids!

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