UKbride Member Request 22 Nov 2017

Hi, My amazing parents are paying for our wedding the thing that’s getting...

Hi, My amazing parents are paying for our wedding the thing that’s getting to me is my other half’s mum has said she feels guilty that my parents are paying for the wedding, but they haven’t helped at all not that I would ever expect them too if they can’t afford it but it’s my other half that keeps adding his family to the guest list and we have already gone over the numbers for our package deal with the venue so any extra is £80 a person, so to me I think it’s unfair I’ve kept my side down because I done want my parents paying so much money.. I think I’m just getting frustrated and annoyed and needed to get it off my chest.. same goes for the evening it’s £16 extra a person...

Steph V
Steph V 22 Nov 2017

You need to have a discussion and write down every one on your side and his thst is invited and then say we’re only allowed X amount, he needs to understand that you’ve cut your guest list down but your family are paying for the wedding and it’s not fair.
I’m having a similar problem but my H2B is away with work for quite a few months and is adding all of his friends that I have never met and not inviting people he grew up with and still sees, luckily our wedding isn’t until 2020 so we’ve booked a day that we both can do to have a proper chat about the whole wedding scenario.
Good luck :)

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 23 Nov 2017

You need to sit down with your H2B and express that you have kept your side down to keep costs down for your parents. If you had already discussed who you were inviting and then chose the venue and now hes adding people on I understand your frustration. At the same time if it is his family he is inviting I also find it a bit unfair that he can't invite them. Although me and my H2B are paying for the wedding ourselves (with a small input from both parents) so not the same situation, I have a large family (62 people) and I would be devastated if my other half turned around to me and say I couldn't invite some of them. I would also have a word with your parents and ask them what their budget for the wedding is then maybe you have something to go back to your partner with and show him how much each extra person is costing.

Sammy Eldridge
Sammy Eldridge 24 Nov 2017

You really need to speak up.
This is one of the reasons that we are marrying abroad because my H2B has a huge family & the price would’ve been ridiculous to feed & entertain them all. We are still spending a lot but that money is to make our day special not for everyone else

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Nov 2017

I personally don’t think they have the right to add on guests, this is down to you and your Fiancé to decided x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Nov 2017

I would talk to him about it. It doesn't seem much money when saying per person but it all adds up! I'm paying £130pp for the day guests and then any additional evening guests are £30pp so my guest list will be limited! Also maybe have a "reserve list" for if anyone can't make it. That's what we're going to be doing ️

Catherine Hind
Catherine Hind 26 Nov 2017

You need to sit down and communicate this to your H2B. Communication is the most important part in any relationship. If you can't do it now what's going to happen when you get married and issues crop up? All the best and hope you resolve things 😊

Lisa Shoebridge
Lisa Shoebridge 26 Nov 2017

If they want to add extra then they should pay for them instead of your parents it's not right xxx


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