UKbride Member Request 16 Nov 2017

Hello all you beautiful brides to be! I need some advice... I'm pretty...

Hello all you beautiful brides to be! I need some advice... I'm pretty certain I've made up my mind but need some outside opinions please! My Mum has had the most milliscule input in my life and dips in and out when she sees fit - normally if it benefits her in some way! Recently she's listened to a few things I've said and has actually sent over birthday cards for my girls from another country where she has been living for the last 7/8yrs. First time and my eldest was 9! She knows I'm getting married and now sends msgs on Facebook, declares her excitement for the big day etc etc. I haven't even invited her! Do I? I'm just worried her track record will ruin the day and I don't want my h2b family to rememeber our day for the acting like an idiot that turns out to be my Mum! But then also worried if we do ever start getting along etc I'll regret getting married without my Mum there?! Help! Thank you! X

Steph V
Steph V 16 Nov 2017

I think this is a discussion you have to have with your mum I’m afraid maybe if you can set up a Facebook chat or Skype. You need to express how upset she has made you feel and that if she does come she has to be set rules that if she acts up or starts showing you up on your day then she has to go home. Just have a word with her and hopefully she’ll understand but remember it’s YOUR wedding not hers. She needs to know how you’re feeling also and if you feel like you really don’t want her then explain that she is not invited for the reasons you have.
Hope this helps 😊

Chloé Roe
Chloé R 16 Nov 2017

I agree with Steph.
You shouldn't have to worry about you mum ruining your day and if you still feel like that is going to happen after you've spoken to her then don't invite her. Yes you might regret it in the future but if you are going to be worrying about it running up to the wedding and on the wedding day is it worth having her there? It should be an enjoyable experience and you should have no worries on your wedding day, just enjoyment

Laura Wilkinson
Laura Wilkinson 16 Nov 2017

It sounds like your mum has listened to you recently and is showing an interest so maybe your relationship is moving forward. However, there is still alot of progress to be made for you to trust her. Only you can decide if she's invited. Have you spoken to your h2b? He knows the details of your relationship with her and I'm sure his opinion would help too x

Iona Lambert
Iona Lambert 16 Nov 2017

I would invite her if you are getting along but give her rules and be open about why, if she doesn't understand then that can be your deciding factor if she comes or not. How that helps good luck x

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 16 Nov 2017

I agree with Steph. Some further input would be that as we get older we realise how important it is to be involved in our children's lives and show them we care. May sound a bit strange but as my ex-husband approached 50 he suddenly looked round and realised he didn't know his 'children' (then in their 20's) and he started wanting their friendship. It took a while to get to know them as there was some reservation on their side but they told him why they were cautious and fortunately he listened and they are now in regular contact. Hope it works out for you.

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 17 Nov 2017

Hi you have to be comfortable on your big day, you don't want to look back on your day with regret :)


Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?