Cath Evans
Cath Evans 4 Nov 2017

My brother and his partner are photographers... and i have asked him to...

My brother and his partner are photographers... and i have asked him to research and find the best deal for photographers and videographer for my wedding... He and I have been looking since i got engaged (7 months ago..) and everything we find he doesn't like and says they are WAY over priced - and we both know he can do better!! He has offered to do the photos and video for free... but is it wrong of me to want my brother relaxed and with me fully on my special day?!? ... and his partner is my bridesmaid.. i want them both in the photos and video.. and standing by my side.. for a bride on a budget is this unreasonable??

Deborah Cooke
Deborah Cooke 4 Nov 2017

Hi, I think that it's a lovely gesture from your brother and his partner, think of it as their gift to you. He obviously wants your photographs etc to be the best that they can be. There will be plenty of time for them to relax and be by your side to enjoy your special day 🌹

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 4 Nov 2017

I agree with Deborah that this is a lovely gesture from your brother and his partner. Do you have any friends who are reasonable photographers? You could ask them to ensure they took some pics with all of you in them. Not the same but at least you would have some.

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 4 Nov 2017

My brother is a photographer and I know would do the best photos I could ask for but I didn’t ask him because I want him to be relaxed and to enjoy himself. However if he really wants to do them then it is a lovely gesture x

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 4 Nov 2017

Hi I think you are right but have you thought your brother might be offended if he doesn't do this for you :)

Catherine Jakuta
Catherine Jakuta 5 Nov 2017

I'd see this as his wedding gift to you. Get someone to use his camera to take pictures with him in them, he can always tell people where to stand and then jump in. It will be that extra special touch too that your photos were taken by your brother. P.s. There will be plenty of time to relax later!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

It’s a tough one but you can’t have the best of both worlds. You either spend the money and have your brother and his partner by your side or you let him do the photography for you...

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I'd want him and her with me. My sisters best friend is a wedding photographer but she had her as bridesmaid. Do they have any contacts who could do it for you?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

It's a lovely gesture and he wouldn't have offered if he didn't want to. You know they're good photographers so you know you're gonna love them. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I’d say you can’t put a price on the photographs... take the budget away and ask him to choose who he would have photograph his wedding, he wouldn’t be able to photograph himself!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

If they have offered and are comfortable i see no issues
It would be different if you were just expecting them to do it

I think it sounds like a nice gift

Rachel Smith
Rachel Smith 5 Nov 2017

I’m a wedding photographer and I have been bridesmaid/photographer 3 times once for my sister and both of my best friends, after the second I said i would never do it again but yet alas I did... it’s lovely to be able to be the one that catches those special moments however it does come at a cost of enjoying moments of the day and can be quite stressful at times. I did have a helping hand from a friend who is also a photographer so maybe that’s an option for group shots. Keep looking and you may find someone that fits the bill but if your brother is happy to do it maybe let him. I’m pretty sure if I was asked again I would do it as I wouldn’t like the thought of them paying money on a budget when I am willing and able.
I am planning my big day at the moment and having a similar issue with who to take my photos 😬

Dominique Ayotte
Dominique Ayotte 5 Nov 2017

Could you have your brother taking photos and also have a local photography student (2nd or 3rd year) there to take some other photos? They would capture photos with your brother and his partner but would be a fraction of the price, it would build their portfolio too. Good luck x 📷

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

My son is a photographer, but he’s giving me a way to my wedding , he said he wants to enjoy my day and I want him too , so we decided to book a photographer from London that he knows , it cost us £1,000 but at least he’ll get to relax and be in the picture and enjoy his mother’s wedding. Have a wonderful moment on your wedding day. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

My sister did ours, everyone was so relaxed, best wedding photos ever

Emmy Cousins
Emmy Cousins 5 Nov 2017

I think this is a lovely offer but why don't you ask him to do an engagement photo session for you and get a photographer for the wedding day. I am also on a budget and we have got an amazing photographer who isn't badly priced. Then that way you have pleased everyone. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I am a professional wedding photographer with 10 years experience. My daughter got married last year. I paid a professional wedding photographer of her choice to capture the day. It’s impossible to do both. Also are your brother and his partner wedding photographers? Wedding photography is the most challenging of all photography. There is no second chance to get a photo, lighting varies enormously throughout the day. You need to know how weddings work in terms of how they run for the day, when all the ’must have’ key moments are going to pop up (as well as having a keen eye for the unexpected moments). The right cameras and lenses to do what is needed, back ups of everything, 2 memory cards in each camera just in case one corrupts - then making sure at the end of the day, having all the cards separated from the cameras so if someone steals them, the cards are safe. Double or triple back ups the moment you get home, including in separate buildings in case there is a fire. Then 5 days solid editing - album design, knowledge of the best type of album for what you want (if you want). Then keeping the images on file forever ( a bride last week messaged me to say she had lost all of her images - a new set was sent out 2 days later.

Julia Sweetman
Julia Sweetman 5 Nov 2017

We have a few photographer friends and my fiancé’s Dad including this. We don’t want them to work on our wedding day as we want them to enjoy it but if they offered why not! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

My sister is a hair dresser and generally does my hair anyway. Since I became engaged I said I will get her to colour (highlights) my hair a week (ish) before and cut it but when it comes to the day she is relaxing and not worrying about it. So I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to want them to enjoy themselves but maybe you can compromise set times where they photograph and set time aside for them to chill out and enjoy and be part of the day

Jessica Bateman
Jessica Bateman 5 Nov 2017

I think that would make the best wedding present! You will always look back on you Photos.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I personally would want my brother to relax on my wedding day, but if he's offered that means he's happy to do it for you. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017 - Hi, this is my photography business, please contact me to discuss your wedding photos as I’d love to be able to help you out. Many Thanks.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Nov 2017

I'm on a budget. But honestly, the biggest priority , besides the venue, is the photographer. It's the one thing you don't have to think about and if you find the right photographer, it's well worth the money! I've also said that my dad and brother-in-law are not really allowed to take photos. Especially of the ceremony. If you're on a tight budget, try going to a local college/university and ask for the photography/media department and see if they have an experienced student who can do the photography for a cheaper price :)

Rachel Atkinson
Rachel Atkinson 6 Nov 2017

Hi this is a lovely gesture but I agree with you, my grandad is an amazing photographer but I wouldn't want him taking the photos as I want him to relax and enjoy the day too. Your brother and his partner could take photos of the bridal/groom party getting ready if he wants to do some. If you see a photographer you like you could always try and negotiate the price!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Nov 2017

Do they not have a trusted friend to help, they could share dutires.

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 6 Nov 2017

Its a lovely offer from your brother - but it is not wrong for you to not want him to do it for your wedding. They are both important parts of your day and I would agree with you that it would be the wrong decision to get them to do it.


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