So I'm a bridesmaid to a friend next year. However as we aren't incredibly close I won't be asking her to be in my bridal party... I feel bad as I am in her wedding. Do you think I'm being harsh? Last thing I want to do is hurt someone
Your day. Your choice.
I wouldn’t worry, if you have people that are closer to you that you’d like to be bridesmaids then that’s what you should do, you could just say to her that you would love to have had her but you are keeping numbers down for money reasons, and if your bridesmaids are going to be family or close friends that she knows you are closer to, then she should understand and be fine with it :) x
Thank you ladies :) x
Also in regards to not wanting to hurt/upset someone, I’m completely the same but from my experience so far (and I’ve only just started planning my wedding!), and I’m sure many others would tell you the same, it’s pretty much impossible to plan a wedding without somebody not being happy with one aspect or another! You just have to do what you and your partner want :) x
Your wedding; your choice. She chose you to be her bridesmaid; there is no agreement in place that she has to be yours. My friend has been bridesmaid 7 times;she had none of the brides as her bridesmaids, just her sisters.
It's absolutely your choice, no one can expect to be a bridesmaid just because they asked you, it's not necessarily a reciprocal thing. You might want just family, for example, or feel closer to different people at the time you get married. It doesn't reflect on your friendship in any way. If it would make you feel better then you could mention it to her, but you know best whether that would be likely to upset her more, bringing attention to why she wasn't chosen. Some people need answers more than others, she might not think anything of it. Bottom line, it's your decision have a wonderful wedding. And someone nearly always finds fault when you plan a wedding you just have to bear in mind what you and your partner want and not sacrifice that to please others. They get to choose when it's their wedding xx
You're not obligated to have someone as your bridesmaid just because you were theirs but at the same time if you feel this way maybe you should step down as her bridesmaid too?
Why not ask her to do a reading at your wedding. That’s what I did when I didn’t choose a friend to be a bridesmaid x
Love these answers there is such pressure from others as they expect it ...when in reality there is people so much closer to you that deserve the job x
I've had this happen to me one of my maids got married less than a year after mine I wasn't asked which in truth has really hurt me because I did believe that we were rclose friends and I couldn't have imagined my day without her, of course you are not obliged to ask her however if you are not going to ask I would at least speak to her, I would have appreciated that rather than turning up on the day realising the friendship did not mean the same to your friend as it did to you..
It's a tricky one. Ultimately if you don't feel close to her in a way that you want to involve her in that level then don't. It's your day and it has to be right for you. But be aware that she might feel hurt. Ultimately we all pick our b.maids in different ways. My OH and I have ppl from each others lives in our line up and I've included only one of 4 female cousins because the others I am not as close to. You need to pick In a way that makes you happy and trust that your friendship will be understanding and fair. Just be honest.
I had a friend as a bridesmaid but when she got married I wasn't one. It didn't bother me in the slightest. Aslong as she was happy and had the day she wanted to, that's all that should matter :)
No not at all - it’s about personal choice and if they take it harshly the. That’s their problem
My moh is very important to me but she is now engaged and I don’t think I’ll even be at her wedding due to the type she will have. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest as she has so
Many friends and I’m lucky just to be one. Hope this helps from a different perspective 😃
I think that fine; one of my friends got married last year and I wasn’t in her bridal party but she is in mine and there is no hard feeling between us x
I am maid of honour for one of my friends and I am not having her in my bridal party, she was absolutely fine with it as everyone is different and choose different people for different reasons! Don’t stress, if she is a good friend she will understand! Relax and enjoy planning your wedding xxx
I was in that situation. I just spoke to the ones I wasn't going to have and explained the reasons why. They understood completely. Just talk to her.
Yes I had the same problem, I was so honoured to be asked but she said I shouldn't feel obliged to ask her. I know she really won't mind but I do feel a bit bad if I don't ask her. I'm still deciding but going to do what I want. All I can say to you is if she's a true friend she'll understand. X