UKbride Member Request 28 Oct 2017

Hi I would appreciate a little advice, we are newly engaged and in the...

Hi I would appreciate a little advice, we are newly engaged and in the process of trying to sort out an engagement party, my question is: I have put down names of people that will have an invitation to our wedding but my H2B is putting every single person he can think of (even if they are not actually invited) I was planning on giving our invitations out that night as it will cut the cost of posting them out but I would feel awkward giving an invitation to one person and not another, also we would have to cater for everyone (just a finger buffet). I know this is a long question but what should I do? Should I back down and invite people that won't have an invite to the wedding, I just don't want to offend people when I give invites out. TIA x

Zoe Atkins
Zoe Atkins 28 Oct 2017

Wow, you're organised if you already know your full guest list in time for an engagement party! Think of it as a chance to celebrate with everyone, including those that budget/venue capacity etc won't allow you to get to the wedding. Perhaps it's not the best time to hand out invitations, particularly if some of the guests won't be on the wedding guest list, though. But I'm sure most people will realise that an invite to the engagement party does not equate to a promise of an invite to the wedding itself.

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 28 Oct 2017

Hi giving invites out at an engagement party is just not done :)

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 29 Oct 2017

Personally I think you should just enjoy the engagement party and leave the invitations to later. Not only could you offend people but people can be careless and may forget their invitation or lose it when they have had a few drinks. Also, to receive an invitation in the post is a bit more exciting.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Oct 2017

Invite the world to celebrate with you. Save the invitations till later. Throw a disco party from 7.30-8 and if you must do food make it simple. Cheese, to look like a cake, crackers etc keep it simple if you are worried about costs.
If you are really worried about costs maybe just forgo the engagent and put it towards the wedding.

Jade Goodwin
Jade Goodwin 30 Oct 2017

Doesn't seem like anyone else thinks it but personally think it's a bit weird to invite people that your not inviting to the wedding, an surely it's going to make them think they are 🤔 I do think it's a fab time to give out invitations tho xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Oct 2017

I bought my stamps in bulk online from Royal Mail and was nowhere as expensive as buying straight from the Post Office. Enjoy your engagement party and deal with the invites later. Unless you have already booked your venue how will you know what date and where etc

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Oct 2017

Keep them separate celebrations, enjoy your engagement x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Oct 2017

If your wedding is soon enough to be inviting people already, do you need the added expense of an engagement party? They’re much more of an American thing (not that that’s bad!), and for longer engagements usually.

Sheryl McAllister
Sheryl McAllister 30 Oct 2017

Not a good idea especially if it’s a while till your wedding. The amount of times my guest list has changed with people having kids, getting in new relationships, splitting up, no longer seeing certain people, death (touch wood that one hasn’t happened). I also wouldn’t invite someone to my engagement party if they weren’t invited to the wedding.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 30 Oct 2017

Just enjoy your engagement and think of the wedding at a later stage. People will only lose the invite after a few drinks and it will cause arguments for those who don’t receive an invite. Unless your wedding is pretty close to the engagement party then that’s different.

Hazel Cottrell
Hazel Cottrell 30 Oct 2017

Our engagement party is in 3 weeks, our wedding isn't until 2020. We are inviting all our friends, and sending out invites in 2019 as we know our friendship circles will change :)

Don't know if that helps?

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 31 Oct 2017

I invited all my friends to my engagement that won't be invited to my day, they will be invited to my evening though. My partner invited his work buddies to our engagement but only some of them will be invited to our evening. Mind you we only had an engagement party because we weren't planning to get married straight away. We got engaged in 2015, had the party in 2015 and only this year have booked the wedding for 2019. If we were having the wedding closer to the engagement I wouldn't of bothered with a party xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 31 Oct 2017

I think you should enjoy your engagement party don't worry about the wedding yet. Also a lot changes. If people don't make your engagement party would you really want them at your wedding?,,,

Amber Neat
Amber Neat 31 Oct 2017

You should only invite people to the party who will attend your ceremony. That's the etiquette. But you shouldn't give invites out at your party anyway

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 31 Oct 2017

You don't have to have an engagement party, especially if there's not long until your wedding. We didn't bother with one. You could always go out for a meal with just close family and friends instead x

Sara Higham
Sara Higham 31 Oct 2017

Personally I would hold off sending the invites till after engagement party. Ask yourself is saving a few quid on postage worth risking people losing invites or/and getting offended.


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