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UKbride Member Request 27 Oct 2017

Hi, I’m looking for some advice. We have our wedding booked for a year and...

Hi, I’m looking for some advice. We have our wedding booked for a year and a half away and are sending out save the dates. One of my h2b’s groomsmen is in a relationship with a girl who I have known since I was little but we fell out pretty badly last year. I really don’t want her at our wedding but I don’t want to put h2b or his friend in any awkward position by not inviting her. Do I invite her?

28 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 27 Oct 2017

Hi I think you will have to trust your instincts on this matter :)

Abigail McCarthy
Abigail McCarthy 27 Oct 2017

I personally wouldn't invite her and your htb and her boyfriend should understand. It's your wedding so it's your choice. If you think she'd behave and keep quiet then maybe invite her. Or sit down before hand and discuss the matter and see if you could come to a compromise hope this helped x

Sonia Taylor
Sonia Taylor 27 Oct 2017

I have a similar situation with my h2b friend and I don't get on the blokes a jerk and I have said he is not welcome to our wedding unless he apologises for being rude and disrespectful towards myself and my other half is 100% in agreement. Just speak to your partner in sure he would understand if worse case scenario tell your h2b friend he can bring her along to the evening but not the day if she behaves. X

Deborah Cooke
Deborah Cooke 28 Oct 2017

Remember it is your day and you want to feel comfortable with people around you who are dear to you 🌷

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Tbh I would wait a little longer before sending save the dates. I get married November and won’t be sending them until jan/feb. A lot can happen in even half a year x

Teresa Burns
Teresa Burns 28 Oct 2017

Just put him on save the date. Don't send her one. A lot can happen in 18 months they may split up lol sorry I mean send him one and cross the will he have to bring her at a later date. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Maybe send her the save the date to show that you're trying to put the past behind you both, see if she reaches out, you might resolve everything before your wedding and it might be even more special

Danielle Conway
Danielle Conway 28 Oct 2017

I don’t think it matters until it’s time to send the invite, you can decide then 🙂

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 28 Oct 2017

No. I had exactly this problem. I was starting to think of just having them both at evening but recently they both have shown their true colours and we no longer speak so now I can get on with planning the wedding and not worry about having un wanted guests there xx

Kirsty Law
Kirsty Law 28 Oct 2017

If it was me I wouldn't invite her x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Yes. How would you feel if you were left off an invite (and I mean really,not just what you tell FB because you wouldn't want to be seen as unreasonable). If things are still bad,chances are she won't attend but at least you've been the bigger person

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Yes you do. You don’t even have to speak to her. You may not even have the time.
You are not the only one who is getting married. If your husbands grooms man is her boyfriend- it could place a strain on that relationship which I am sure you don’t want. Put her in the back somewhere

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

We're going for no partners unless married or very close friends with both of them :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Just invite her, you don’t have to acknowledge her on the day and she might rsvp no anyway

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Just invite him and plus one lol. Only because he may not even be with her in 18 months time. If they are still together and she don't attend well at least you didn't personally invite her. If he chose her as his plus one and she comes maybe you both can move forward etc. Good luck hun xx

Emily Fisk
Emily Fisk 28 Oct 2017

Don’t invite her and tell your h2b friend why x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Im in similar situ my H2B best man's gfriend is one of my ex close friends, we havent spoken for over 18 months but they get married next year and I am attending their wedding for my H2Bs sake and I will invite her to ours as her husband will be the best man the way I see it is I just dont have to speak to her on her day or my own, but I would never put my H2B in a situation that may cause problems for him and his friend its just not fair x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Just do what makes you happy and will cause you the least stress. If any arguments are caused on the day you will regret inviting her and you can't change things once they have happened..good luck x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

I wouldn't have her at your full day.. but you could invite her to the evening x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

No x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Remember its not just your day, its you h2b day as well. If you have know her fir so long then show that your an adult (even if she doesn't) and see if you can start rebuilding things.

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 28 Oct 2017

I personally would still invite her and be the bigger person. With everything that goes on on your wedding day you will probably spend all of 5 minutes with her but you keep the peace on the run up and after. You never know you may have patched things up by then.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Oct 2017

My partner has a group of 12 very close friends, most of them have partners but we didn't want to invite all of them as some we do not know well so we decided on only husbands/wife's would be invited though they could come in the evening if they wanted

Crystal Hood
Crystal Hood 29 Oct 2017

Why don't you arrange to meet her for a coffee. Explain the situation and see if making up is possible before you just invite her. At least then you can gauge the situation before actually inviting her to your special day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Oct 2017

I got the same problem.but being the bigger person and I'm inviteing them anyway.hav said any trouble and they will be asked to leave!enjoy ur special day..don't let anyone damper it..There will be plenty of people that are special to u they u won't have to spend time with the people who aren't!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Oct 2017

I had this dilema. Things change, people fall out and make up. I still invited her and everything turned out perfect. Give her the choice of weather she can be adult enough to get over it for one day or not. X

Lauren-Emily Pepper
Lauren-Emily Pepper 29 Oct 2017

I had this with 2 of our guest but um just inviting them as it would be more drama if I didn’t plus I’m more mature than that x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Oct 2017

Invite her but make it clear to your h2b and his friend that the first sign of trouble and they are both out the door. Or don't invite

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