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UKbride Member Request 27 Oct 2017

Has anyone ever experienced drama from an ex from the engagement? Me and...

Has anyone ever experienced drama from an ex from the engagement? Me and my boyfriend recently got engaged and an ex of his who claims to be a 'friend' of ours has not even congratulated us. She is very rude to me and makes quite sly remarks about me while I'm there. I haven't said anything yet but I'm starting to get quite upset. She messaged my boyfriend asking how he was and when he mentioned the engagement she said 'I heard' and that was that. They haven't spoken since. Am I over reacting and getting stressed for no reason? ***I would also like to add that they stopped seeing each other a year ago and was reintroduced at a BBQ in July which I was there. He hasn't cheated on me with her and I'm 100% sure he isn't keeping anything from me.***

32 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 27 Oct 2017

Hi I would not like my Fiances ex to be massaging him to be honest I would be furious :)

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 28 Oct 2017

I would be upset too. My H2B's ex wife still sends birthday and Christmas cards and it irks me but H2B and I have discussed it. If he asks her to stop it will only show her that it irritates me which is possibly what she wants. Tell your fiance how you feel and get him on side. Sounds like she is jealous of you and is trying to upset you and probably annoyed that her ex is happy. I hope you and H2B can work through this together.

Danielle Ryde
Danielle Ryde 28 Oct 2017

Apparently my ex said that my h2b must be desperate to wanna marry someone like me who would probably cheat on him in a year heard that from a mate of mine

Emily Fisk
Emily Fisk 28 Oct 2017

I had a girl do this with my fiancé and we almost broke up over it but I knew she was jealous of us. He knows that now and at the time he couldn’t see and it caused ww3 but I stood my ground and told her to fuck off. Had to be done. If your fiancé loves you he will stick by you. My fiancé has girl mates now but they aren’t a bitch like this girl. Luckily she’s long gone now x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Why is there any contact with the ex? Is there a need to be? Cut her out of your lives, better that way!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Personally,I'd just ignore her. Why are you son concerned about her reaction?She's an ex for a reason. But you aren't owed a word of congratulations from everyone who knows you because some people are just like that and getting upset over her behaviour shows that you let what she thinks affect you more than it should. She may be put out that you're engaged,maybe she harboured an idea that she and your fella would get back together and that's off the cards now. Unless you want to confront her,just ignore her

Leanne Harris
Leanne Harris 28 Oct 2017

Don't understand why his ex is in your lives. I find that odd.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

I'd be upset too sweetie but honestly rise above it... it will piss her off more... at the end of the day he has asked YOU to marry him! It's only annoying her because she was not as lucky as you! Be the classy lady that you are and smile through it :) xx

Zoe Johnson
Zoe Johnson 28 Oct 2017

I totaly agree tell her to eff off lol me and my ex are good friends (we have a son) and him and my h2b get on xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Kill her with kindness, but also explain to your fiance how she's treating you. Don't worry about the congratulations not being forthcoming, just ignore that. The treatment of you is the thing that needs to stop and all it needs is your fiance to acknowledge it to you and to support you should she be around. But when she's around kill her with kindness, be warned it makes them childish, but will provide hours of amusement for you x

Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
Siobhan Knight-Potgieter 28 Oct 2017

Personally, if your happy in your relationship don’t let her bother you.

Keep being blissfully happy, it’ll wind her right up and if she so much as breathes on your man too hard then you can deal with her.

Happens a lot, even if it’s a love interest that never happened they suddenly become interested when the relationship becomes serious !

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Why would she have to congratulate u both, she maybe has feelings still and is finding it hard (i know the decent the thing is to be polite and congratulate but some people live in their own wee bubble)

Personally i would just continue life and forget about it

Life too short to worry about other people

Concentrate on the two of you and planning your wedding

Janet Venables
Janet Venables 28 Oct 2017

My ex husband of over 8 years (I left him) still doing controlling /head games shit. I'm not having the wedding I want cos of it. I'm marrying my fiancé in a quickie registry office do b4 the end of the year. Fiancé hates me having my ex's surname

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

I really wouldn't care what my ex or my partners ex thought about us being engaged lol. There are bigger things to worry about.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

She's irrelevant. She's not worth stressing about. It's jealousy

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Mine just tried to sabbotage our honeymoon by being difficult about having the kids. Would not have them for one extra day!!! Some people are just sad and awkward and best ignored. Do they have kids together, If not I would say there is no reason for them even to be in contact!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Man up their relationship is over ur with him now why does she even matter

Lindsay Coombes
Lindsay Coombes 28 Oct 2017

She is clearly jealous and was never truly your friend. Ignore and cut her off xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Why would you be bothered that she hasn't congratulated you? She's an ex...I personally don't agree with staying friends with exes and wouldn't appreciate my fiance and his ex messaging

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

You’re overreacting! Why are you letting the fact that his EX didn’t congratulate you bother you? She’s an ex for a reason! I could understand if it was your mum or your best friend but his ex, seriously? I think you need to get a grip

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

My now ex friend (we went on dates and then became friends after for many years) was really off with me when I got together with my fella, then we moved in and he made horrible comments, then when I got engaged he was the only 1 that didn’t congratulate me! We don’t talk now and it turns out he was jealous! Don’t worry about it and try and be happy- ignore her and she will go away! X

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 28 Oct 2017

I don’t see why you would expect to get a congratulations from her or why you are even thinking about her when you have just got engaged? Just enjoy being engaged and take congratulations from those who are actually happy for you

Lauren Jones
Lauren Jones 28 Oct 2017

Not really sure what the drama is here...just that she didn't congratulate you, or am I missing something? I think you may be overthinking it a bit, I would try to forget it and just enjoy your engagement. Congratulations, by the way 😊

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

I find it stranger that your bothered about her lack of interest, I'm sorry to say. Also I don't agree with the whole ex's shouldn't be or can't be friends/civil personally myself and my fiancé aren't in that situation but we have lots of friends who can still be at parties and so on with exs there and do the whole chit chat and move on thing. I suppose it depends how deep their relationship ran.
Maybe you want more of a reaction from her so that your fiancé stands your ground and says how much he loves you and wants to be with you...as opposed to her but your the one he is marrying so I wouldn't worry. She probably isn't interested in the engagement in the nicest way possible.... Have you or would you congratulate your ex/exs on future engagements? What's next will you be expecting her to want to come to your wedding?? Don't waste any of your energy worrying about her, this is the most important and magical time of your life, enjoy it and concentrate on yourself and your h2b - btw CONGRATULATIONS!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 28 Oct 2017

Shes a bunny boiler - avoid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Oct 2017

She's an ex. You're over thinking this and need to move on and think about people who genuinely give a shit you're engaged

Stephanie Wood
Stephanie Wood 29 Oct 2017

Just don't get caught up in the drama. Go about happily planning your wedding as a couple and pay no attention to her. She's doesn't sound like someone to invite to the wedding so don't let her ruin your moment.

Lizzy Carter
Lizzy Carter 29 Oct 2017

If you are 100% sure your H2B is faithful, and the fact that when she messaged him, he brought up the engagement. It sounds like his way of telling her to back off. I wouldn't stress over her as she doesn't sound worth it. Enjoy your engagement and wedding planning, and maybe accidentally on purpose lose her invite. :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 29 Oct 2017

Why do you feel the need to get a congratulations from your h2bs ex?? It sounds to me like she might still have a bit of a thing for your partner, hence her being rude to you, messaging him and sounding bitter about the engagement. If you and your h2b are happy, never mind what she or anyone else thinks!

Laura Wilkinson
Laura Wilkinson 4 Nov 2017

If it's getting to you have a chat with your h2b. Leave it in his hands as she's really nothing to do with you.

Chloé Roe
Chloé R 8 Nov 2017

Id try not to let it get to you. Shes an ex for a reason and he asked YOU to marry him- that speaks for itself.

Iona Lambert
Iona Lambert 11 Nov 2017

I would be so annoyed because she is nothing to do with your relationship I would ask H2B to block number and ignore her. She's obviously jealous. Good luck sounds like a tough situation xx

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