Merilynn Browne
Merilynn Browne 16 Oct 2017

Hi everyone. I'm getting married in may 18. My h2b. Lost his 28year old...

Hi everyone. I'm getting married in may 18. My h2b. Lost his 28year old niece last week and she has to have a full autopsy. this can take between 2 to 3 months. And I have to send and have reply back by February 1st for our numbers and other things. I want to put on invite that if guests have not replied by this date then they will not be attending as I feel that the date is there for a reason. But feel a bit harsh with what has happened. Has anyone else gone through this. And if you did how did you resolve it. Thank you

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 16 Oct 2017

This is very sad but life still has to go on and you should not feel guilty about asking for information. 2 - 3 months is a long time and people should be able to take a few minutes to do this.

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 16 Oct 2017

Hi just get on with the invites as usual you need to give numbers that is understandable :)

Claire Hellewell
Claire Hellewell 16 Oct 2017

Wow that is a tough one and very sad what's happened. I think I would wait as you only need final numbers in 6 weeks before anyway :)

Nicola Jones
Nicola Jones 19 Oct 2017

I had originally put rsvp for 1st Sept on everything. However, my dad was quite ill all summer and I'm still handing out evening invites. I lost my dad on 30th Sept, funeral wasn't until the 10th Oct and everyone is still a bit raw. We get married on 3rd Nov with a quiet wedding, intimate dinner at the local gastro pub and a party on the following day at the village hall. It is tough to keep a happy jolly attitude when insdie you're screaming and I lost the wind out of my sails. Despite this, people are saying they are looking forwards to celebrating with us and are happy we didn't postpone.

Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
Siobhan Knight-Potgieter 19 Oct 2017

Unfortunately people do not seem to read the ‘deadline’ dates on RSVP’s. Honestly we are only in October, so I would say support your H2B and worry about this January time, if you want to chase people you can but otherwise I would just completely focus on comforting your husband to be and the parents of the poor girl xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

You have to.go on as normal. People do.understand.
Your paying out good money for the reception and the food so you need to know numbers.
Its sad what has happened but you really must think of your selves

Teresa Burns
Teresa Burns 19 Oct 2017

I'm so sorry for your husband to be loss. Hope he and family are getting supported well. As for invites send out as normal rsvp date on .chase up after the date. Normal to do some chasing. But hopefully the celebration of two people being joined together with love will help heal the pain inside. Enjoy your day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

This is so sad, the poor girl! My rsvp date is 25th Feb and I'm
Only sending mine out in January (I think 6-8 weeks is plenty of time for people to decide) you will always need to chase people for a response. Could you not send them out end of December, at least then people may feel in better spirits and everything will be a bit clearer for your H2B. I think if you were to send them out now it looks a little insensitive if I'm honest xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

I'm May 2018 too and my invites won't be going out in till the end of Jan beginning of Feb. I think you shouldn't worry you have plenty of time x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

You'll find that people don't really care what cut off date is on the invite. I've found it to be a nightmare getting everybody to R.S.V.P. You'll probably end up having to call some people anyway. It's something that has to go on invites so don't stress. Good luck!

Sophia Stonehill-Brooks
Sophia Stonehill-Brooks 19 Oct 2017

Maybe put a little poem in there to say that you understand what happening and your upset also but you need to get the information in on time .. just something so it shows your thinking about the situation x

Niki Clarke
Niki Clarke 19 Oct 2017

I marry in cyprus in may 2019 and want numbers by 30th aug 2018 so ive put on my invite if you havent booked woth a deposit by 30th august unfortounetly u will be unable to join us in cyprus xxx

Emily Barnett
Emily Barnett 19 Oct 2017

It would wait until after the inquest/coroner's report is done. I had to wait four weeks after my father died for them to finalise the report and release his body for burial. It was an awful time and I really could not have dealt with any added pressure whilst we were dealing with it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

I would hold off sending them out as it isn't going to be the thing that's on your H2B family's mind at the moment! If your getting married in May 2018 you have loads of time and I only had to give final numbers 4 weeks in advance! I know it's your wedding and it is a special day and life does go on but his family have had a huge devastating thing happen, unfortunately that will take precedent over a wedding happening mid next year!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

Why not put something like “instead of favours we will be making a donation to (her favourite charity) in ‘niece’s’ name”

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

Ask your hotel when they need the final, final numbers. My hotel was 2 weeks before the wedding. Explain to them what has happened. That would give you a longer date to have the invites back by. Three months before the wedding seems a long time.

Catherine McKeown
Therese McKeown 20 Oct 2017

Awe dear that's awful, poor girl and her family
Personally I'd hold off to after the report comes back.. I'm just imagining if that was me receiving a wedding invite in the middle of all that, id think it very heartless.
Don't get me wrong - I get that life goes on but seriously, its so not the right time. Also if you hold out to after the when people receive them it will give them something to look forward to.
I don't know why the invites would have to go out so early here in Ireland 6-8 weeks before the day is the norm for receiving an invite and final numbers in the week before. As someone else said explain to the hotel and get an extension of last numbers being in.
Hope it all works out for you 💕

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Oct 2017

Oh what a horrible situation, so sorry!

Unless you are going abroad you wouldn't need to send out the invites until january time - I think generally people respond better to an event that isnt far away rather than been asked months before.


UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Oct 2017

We have told people an RSVP date which is 2 months before we have to confirm numbers to our venue so have plenty of time to chase up people or invite others if some cannot attend

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 20 Oct 2017

I'd hold it off, the last thing your partners family are going to want right now is a wedding invite in the post, it just seems a bit insensitive, I can understand your venue will need numbers but I'd call them or go in and see a member of staff and have a chat about when at the latest they need numbers, explain what has happened and I'm sure they will understand x

Leanne Harris
Leanne Harris 20 Oct 2017

I'm getting married May 2018 and have asked for rsvps by end of March 2018

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 21 Oct 2017

You could send the invites out as planned to everyone else but just hold off sending the to his side of the family until nearer the time? X

Laura Wilkinson
Laura Wilkinson 23 Oct 2017

Hi, my H2b lost his father recently and it was very sudden. The autopsy only took a week so can't see why it would take so long. I do think it's enough time for ppl to respond tho. Considering the circumstances though I would just ring ppl nearer the time to check if they are coming x


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