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UKbride Member Request 15 Oct 2017

Needing a little advice. Me and my partner and struggling for cash and...

Needing a little advice. Me and my partner and struggling for cash and getting married next September. Instead of wedding presents could I ask my family to help pay for the wedding?

32 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 15 Oct 2017

Hi I think you could if you really need to :)

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 16 Oct 2017

You can do but be prepared for some people to not want to pay for a whole item as it may be too much x

Rebecca watson
Rebecca watson 16 Oct 2017

could you make things to save cost like table decorations etc? I know lots of bridesmaids pay for their dresses so that may be an option.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

You can, but i wouldnt ask directly. Buy items on a credit card (get 0% interest for 3 years) and then ask people for money and use it to pay the credit card off. So they feel like they have given you a gift and don' feel like they have paid for the wedding

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

Myself and my hubby got married 2 weeks ago, our wedding stuff before the venue cost 5k which we got a loan for and for the venue at 3k we paid for out of wedding gift money.
I made our table decor myself, my mum done my flowers, and I made all my own wedding invites, rsvp cards, mass booklets and decorations for the chapel, you don't need to go all out and have a fairytale wedding you will both enjoy it just as much with the essentials. Ours could have been so much cheaper but I said yes to a very expensive dress

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

Why not? In other parts of the world including where I come from people only contribute money instead of presents, and you use it towards the wedding or the honeymoon. We at Light & Imagination photography are providing a service through which family and friends can make a contribution towards the photography package you choose instead of using a gift list or buying you a gift, for example. I don't see why anyone would take offence, at the end of the day it's a day for them as much as it is for you, otherwise you could just elope ;)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

You definitely can but you need to prepare for the fact that you may not raise that much money. Some people will be able and willing to be generous others may only be able to give you a relatively small amount and there will be some which will be put off by the idea and so won't want to do this

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

Personally I would push the wedding back until you can afford it. I don't think its right to ask or expect others to pay for your day. If someone wants to gift you something they will have told you when you announced the wedding. If they haven't mentioned it and you've already said you're getting married then they aren't offering to pay for anything so to ask now is rude. As for a credit card, thats a terrible idea unless you want to be bogged down with bills you probably can't pay, I presume that you can't since you are struggling to pay for your wedding.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

No you can't ask people of this. Either put your date back or put things on 0% credit card and ask for money instead of gifts.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

No

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

We asked for money to use as spending money for the honeymoon, noone had a problem with it. Most people would rather pay for something useful than waste money on something that will stay in a box for the rest of your lives or look pretty on a shelf. The tradition to buy houseware doesn't make much sense now most couples live together before getting married, may as well ask for something you need.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

For the love of god please do not get a credit card to pay for a wedding. Worst thing you could do!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

Bridesmaids could pay for their dresses they are going to give presents aswell and family and friends are going to give presents so do up a poem along with your invitation to ask for money. If family and friends are good at something then let them do it like get someone to make you're invites family or friend make you're cake someone else sort / pay for your car's and so forth

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

I'm sorry but you cannot ask people to pay for your wedding, people give gifts out of choice and by asking you might be putting them under pressure to say yes or maybe even guilting them in to it. You should of considered your budget at the start, we all struggle to save and pay for it cos let's fast it, it's not easy but it's your day, your choice on things so I really really don't think you can ask people to pay for it, sorry x

Michelle Holwill
Michelle Holwill 18 Oct 2017

I found when I told people that we were getting married people wanted to help any way they could! So it might be worth a try!

Hazel Cottrell
Hazel Cottrell 18 Oct 2017

I would recommend that you just keep costs as low as possible, if people offer to pay then great but I wouldn't feel comfortable being asked or asking.

Yazmine Constable
Yazmine Constable 18 Oct 2017

We can only scrounge up £3000 and we are getting married in March. With only 6months notice and not alot of funds I've gone to Gumtree for alot of my things, decided on a woodland wedding so been collecting things while we walk so I can make alot of my decorations, favours ect

Julia Sweetman
Julia Sweetman 18 Oct 2017

A lot of people now days ask for a contribution to the honeymoon. You can simply do this by a poem in your invitations. I don’t think it’s ‘cheeky’ either! Weddings are expensive!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

Have a wedding you can afford! Don't expect other people to pay for it... weddings are expensive enough for guests to attend with outfits hotels and gifts. Go and elope or just do something small if that's what you can afford.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

Personally I don't really see a problem in asking..at the end of the day people can always say no can't they?were not asking for weddings gifts but for honeymoon money instead and a lot of people do give money as a gift anyway.u spend it on what u need
On the other hand u can have a perfect wedding on a lower budget and do it in time..I'm on a budget and doing it all for under 3k..so far it's every bit as perfect as someone spending 10k...look around before u buy Good luck and enjoy planning x

Samantha James
Samantha James 18 Oct 2017

Just ask for money as a gift, then pay for everything on an interest free credit card and pay it off after the wedding with the money given. There’s some great poems etc asking for money if you google it

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

Amazon and eBay are great from your dress, bridesmaids dresses, invites, faux flowers, favours and gifts! My sis also bought my cake but used a Groupon. That's a good place to get a photographer too! But close family like mum dad bro and sis I'm sure would be happy to know their gift was a part of your wedding! We asked the rest of our guests for money and that covered our honeymoon spending. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 18 Oct 2017

My family are helping my mum and dad are paying for my dress and the flowers my sister is giving me money to go towards the little bits and my other sister is giving money for towards photographer and a close friend is helping do invites and name places ECT I have lots of thank you to give out on the day as they have been a massive help xx

Christina Rudge
Christina Rudge 18 Oct 2017

If family and friends ask what you would like as a wedding gift you could suggest money towards favours, flowers, the band or photogragher. Or money as a gift to use on honeymoon. I havent asked anyone but family and friends have offered to pay towards items as a gift.

Kattrina Loizou
Kattrina Loizou 19 Oct 2017

We went to a wedding where we were sent an invite explaining how they wanted ti be man and wife but they were tight for cash and in leui of gifts we were asked to buy "tickets" for the day! We loved it and had a wonderful time knowing we had helped them get married! I'd rather do this than give cash or buy them another toaster!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

Your getting married for the two of you, your guests are just that- guests.

Janice Barker
Janice Barker 19 Oct 2017

There is a site called wish and they have amazing wedding bit and bobs and so cheap have a look
Thats where i shall be getting most if my decs for the wedding.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

I've been to weddings where people ask for money rather than a gift. You can usually find poems about it that are put on the back of invites especially when you don't need items like pots and pans etc. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

This may or may not be helpful but at my chosen venue you can actually get gifts from your guests in the form of gift cards for the venue... this means they pay for the gift card and give it to you as your gift and then when you need to pay the final balance of the venue they take the gift cards from you and reduce the overall cost you have left. This leaves guests to openly choose to purchase a gift card that helps you pay for the venue and in essence part of the wedding, or they can gift you with the standard money gift or a item... you could put in your official invites that your guests if they wish to give you a gift can purchase a venue giftcard (if yours do that) or they can give you money or whatever you would like to ask for. I personally feel you can ask for whatever you want but it doesn’t mean your going to get it. I personally wouldn’t outright ask for guests to pay towards the wedding but would say to them if you wish to gift us there are three options money or giftcard, or just being there for us on the day. But Maybe a discrete method like gift cards would be ideal?? You could ask venues if they do it?? Some do. Hope this helps x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

A few wedding venues ive been to view offer this as part of there price packages donations or cards of money from guets. Of coyrse you can ask if friends and family7 understand theu will do it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 19 Oct 2017

Not the best picture but we put this on the back of our invites, we put anything we didn't have saved for on a credit card. It's up to you how to spend the money you are gifted x

A member uploaded image

Sara Higham
Sara Higham 21 Oct 2017

There are ways to cut cost of getting married, it depends what you're willing to compromise on. You could have a small registra wedding with just witnesses in the morning and ask on of your witnesses to perform a mock ceremony at your venue in place of a wedding gift. Have your venue somewhere that's hires the room cheap ( eg a clubs function room) and ask your other guests to bring food in place of gifts. Your could also forgo a photographer and ask your guests to upload the pics they take fur you to print off. If you want photo books of your photos then aldi and lidl do very reasonable photo books that you design yourself. You can get a decent DJ for around £100-£150 if you shop around. Shop around for dresses if you want bridesmaids (evening and prom dresses look lovely and are cheaper than bridesmaid dresses). Do you know someone that cab make dresses and would be willing to make your wedding dress if you brought the material, or look in debenhams they have very reasonable priced wedding dresses. Would someone be willing to put ribbons on their car and drive you instead of hiring a wedding car. These are just a few ideas to keep the cost down.

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