I need some advice! I want two maids of honour, they are both my best friends but don't know each other. They would get on really well and I planned to introduce them before the wedding and share out jobs depending who wants to do what. One of them is being really rude about my decision, telling me I have to make a choice between them, the jobs can't be shared etc..what do I do?? I love them both!
I can’t understand why someone who is your. Best friend is being rude!? I had the same thing 2 best friends that don’t know each other.. we all went for a meal.. however one is my maid of honour the other is my best woman..
She should not be making you choose. I have two maids of honour. One is actually a make but we are all friends and I couldn't possibly decide. They do have different jobs to do though x
If she is behaving like this now can you imagine how she will want to dictate things later? I would dump her sooner rather than later.
Snap I am having 2 maids of honour as well both my best friends but they don't know each other yet but I'm sure they will get on great,at the end of the day your friends should be chuffed you asked them both and the one of them don't like it, tell her she don't have to be maid of honour if she ent happy and let your other do the role , it's your wedding xx
It is your wedding don't let anyone take over your friend is being rude x
I am having two also, they do know each other but are total opposites so i'm hoping that there won't be any friction between them both x
I have my two best friends as my maid of honour and chief bridesmaid as I couldn't decide between them, they are both at the same level and share responsibilities.
I hope this gets sorted for you Hun as there shouldn't be any of this, they should be excited to share your day with you 😊 X
I’m having my sister and one of my best friends both as matrons of honour.
And my niece as bridesmaid.
There is no reason for one of your friends to make you choose because it is your choice!
I’m having two, it’s completely your decision. Although if I was you I would be dumping the rude one
That is quite selfish, it is your day and how lovely that you have 2 people who can be maid of honour! Explain to her how important it is to you and that you want them both to be a part of your special day. She shouldn't be acting this way!
Cut the dude one out
Don't have one at all just have bridesmaids..none of mine had a label x
It's your decision but choose wisely as I had big trouble with one of my bridesmaids. I didn't have a maid of honor / chief bridesmaid as all of them were the same but one kicked up a fuss telling everyone she was chief bridesmaid. I mean completely took the piss
Either have both because it's what you wanted or go with the one who didn't try to make you choose.
I've done a very similar thing. I'm having a maid of honour and a matron of honour. Neither ladies know each other but I will be introducing them before the wedding. If either one was to be so selfish and ungrateful to put me in that position then they would have to go. Thankfully neither of them has.
The way I see it is by making me choose they are the problem and there are going to be enough of them over the course of planning a wedding to put up with it. I hope you get it sorted. xXx
Ever heard of king Solomon? I think that you can have 2, after all you can have as many brides aids as you like and the MOH is just there to keep things coordinated so why not have 2 sharing the responsibility? If one is very flexible and wants to keep you happy and the other is being a diva then maybe there a clear choice between them though. I mean the MOH is there to make your life easier I couldn't cope without mine!
I have 4 really close friends that I could never make a decision on so I decided that they are all important so not having a MOH and they are all just my bridesmaids x
If she’s saying you have to make a choice, I would be leaving her out of it entirely. It’s quite selfish of her to demand you make a choice. I hope you have a lovely day
I'd choose the other girl !!! X
Wow, I think I’d be telling the rude one where to go! It’s not up to her, if you want 2 maid of honours then you have 2
Course you can have 2! If she cant accept it then shes made it quite clear shes not bothered about you and your special day xx
I'd choose the other one lol. Seriously she should respect your decision or just have her as a bridesmaid, she's being very rude x
Tell her that she either shares the position or gives it up!
Pick the other one
Ditch the one who is complaining from the bridal party completely. If she's not prepared to accept your wishes she's not a true friend and doesn't deserve to be involved, let alone a MOH.
If the one is being rude about everything then I'd just give it to the one that is being more supportive as that's the attitude you want around you when planning your wedding
If the one being g ride thinks you should only have 1, teach her a lesson and get rid of her and choose the nice one
Pick the other one!
Anything you need doing. Do it yourself. Then you can't cause bickering. But Deffo get rid of the bitchy one. She's no friend.
I can't believe she is acting like that I was joint maid of honour with a girl I had never met for my best friends wedding 5 years ago and I classed it as an honour to be asked there is no way you should have to choose x
I'm having two! And they're never met! I asked one to help with wedding planning and one to help with reception planning so they each feel they have their own part of the day.
They're also doing me two separate hen do's
I would give the one that's being rude a choice. You say it's your choice if you don't like it then don't be a bridesmaid at all. If she was a true friend like you say she is she should respect your wishes
Which one will be your witness to sign the register with best man.at end of ceremoney? That's normally a job MOH does as well.as other stuff.
If she is making you choose maybe she isnt right for the job and the other one is.
Its your wedding. Tell her its yoyr choice to have them both but give them their own responsibilities for day
You choose the one that isn’t being rude about it and demote the other to bridesmaid. It’s your wedding, your choice, and the fact that she can’t understand that means she is thinking of herself not you!
I’d tell her that if she is that bothered she always has the choice to decline. It’s your day not hers!
If she's not willing to share, then step her down so she doesn't have to. Doesn't sounds like a very good friend.
Pick the one not being rude!
I've not been in this position, but with family have long taken the stance that if there's a conflict and I need to take sides, I will take the side of the one not causing the difficulties, because that's fairest
If one refuses to share jobs, should her decision negatively affect the friend who is prepared to sort you and do as you say?
In my book no. So I'd choose the other over. Chances are she only wants all of it herself, and might change her mind if she lose the position
Either way, who do you want add maid of honour of she's taking this stance- someone who'll support you and respect your decisions, or someone who'll question what you do and try to get you to change your mind to suit their preferences?
Your wedding your choice. They should be delighted for you and happy you want them part of your day
Choose the other one. If she is being rude she has no right to take the top job xx
Pick the other one.
Rather than call them maids/matron of honour. Just call them bridesmaids. That way neither of them can squabble over who is more important. Just say to them they are both equal best friends and you shouldn't have to choose between them. Good luck.
Ditch the rude one,not a friend in my opinion.
Well I know what I'd be doing. if there was no improvement after You point out it's your day, and you won't choose, I'd get rid of the rude one. If she's dictating like this she'll only get worse as the day approaches. It's your day she needs to remember that. Have a fab day xx
I'm having a maid of honour and a matron of honour.... but in my opinion pick the one whose not being selfish about it, end if the day it's your wedding and you can do what you like and chose who you want. Good luck x
If one is being a nob now, id drop her. It's your day and NO ONE should tell you what to do. Ta raaaaa!
Is it not better to just have two bridesmaids? X
She's just made your decision for you - go for the other one if she's going to be like that. She's disregarding your decisions already she isn't going to make a good maid of honour
I would dump the rude one and have the one who respects your decision and is happy regardless!! Can you imagine what she will be like later in the planning if she's behaving like this now!! X
If that was me I'd explain how important it was to me for them both to be my maid of honors. If she carried on I'd say it's my day and my decision and if she can't live with that and insists I only have one then don't expect me to pick her.
But that's just me, at the end of the day it's your decision
Demote the one that said you have to make a decision and choose ...
Get rid of the rude one! She shouldn't be pressuring you and acting like that it's not very maid of honourey.
The rude one sounds like she wants it to be her day and not yours . She would probably make a scene in ordet to get attention im sorry if it was my day her invitation would have been cancelled
Tell the rude one that the decision's just been made easier and then choose the other one...All joking aside, you need to explain that it's your day and you can have two maids of honour if you want to because you're both equally as important.
I’d get rid of the one that made you choose. It’s your day, not her place to make demands!
Both my best friends are my maids of honour, I can’t chose between them
But if one of them was telling me I had to make a choice then I would chose my other friend.
Friends shouldn’t put you in a position like that x
It’s your day so therefore you decide on whatever you want on the day
It’s your day! I have 2! X
Put your foot down, it's your day and what you've asked is not unreasonable. Sounds like jealousy in all honesty. Give her the choice of either being a maid of honour with the other maid of honour or nothing at all.
Id be getting rid of the rude one tbh x
Choose the one whos nt rude
I had 2, they however have known each other for years...one was my little sister and the other was my best friend, so they get on very well! However, in your situation hun I think the one telling u to chose is being selfish and rude! it's ur day and you chose what you want n what works best for u...if that's 2 moh then it'll have to be a case of she has the option of being an important part of your special day and the run up to it n helping you or still being a part but being hands off xx
Don't let anyone railroad you its your and your fiance wedding please yourselves
Choose the other that isnt being rude xx
I’m not having one at all as I have 5 bridesmaids and 3 of them that would all be perfect as maid of honour for different reasons so just going to share out the jobs between the 5 bridesmaids!
If she's being rude and awkward and trying to get you to choose just one person I'd go for the other girl
The rude one has already made your descion for you! I'd be filling her under B for bin bagged
Are you sure u want her as your MOH if she is acting like this now? X
She should respect your wishes and as it's your day you make the decision. If she can't be happy with that then she doesn't deserve to do it. Personally if she had made me choose I would take the option away and just
Give her a normal guest invite. She should be happy and greatful you chose her
I'm having two and both have never properly met, both best friends from different times in my life. No excuse for being rude when it should be a privilege and your choice .
I asked 2. They didn't know each other but after the 3 of us going out a few times for dress shopping...they get on like a house on fire!!
I have two. My sisters and couldnt pick between them x
Ditch the rude one! Lol tell her it’s your day you want it your way. She should be honoured to be picked
Do it! I only have 2 bridesmaids and they are both head honchos as they are both equally important my sister and my best mate and together they're a formidable force . Plus it shares the load between them which benefits as they both have busy lives xx
Tell them you've decided against maids of honour and just have them as bridesmaids. I don't know why a 'title' has made one of them be so rude to you but best friends just shouldn't act like that! And of course the jobs can be shared, sounds like she's just being a little jealous!
Either have a maid of honour and a matron of ho our or just pick one I would. Too much confusion when it comes to who is organising and doing what
Just make the not moany one the chief and make the one who moaned a normal bridesmaid!
Doesn't deserve to share YOUR day how rude😠
I have my sister as my maid of honour who will sign my marriage certificates and do the majority of the maid of honour role on the day and then my best friend as my chief bridesmaid and she will be my go to for behind the scenes stuff on the day, they are sharing out the jobs i havent done myself before the wedding, really you can do what ever you want its your day and if she is that demanding of the full role already would she be as demanding about other things and cause more stress??
Drop her its your day not hers. She should make every effort to make your day what you want it to be, not be a selfish brat ! .