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UKbride Member Request 11 Oct 2017

Hello, I get married early next year ... I am having a nightmare with my...

Hello, I get married early next year ... I am having a nightmare with my bridesmaid! She has shown ZERO interest in anything regarding the wedding very rarely visits or speaks to me much anymore! She offered to sort my hen night out and has done nothing so I am now sorting it myself and whenever I do see her I get constant attitude and sly comments about myself and my H2B! Family & my partner have told me to drop her from the wedding although I don't feel I can do this as that would be years of friendship down the drain ... feel completely alone at a time I wanted to be special for myself & my friend, any advice how to handle this please or if anyone is having a similar issue?

8 Comments
Kelly Seddon
Kelly Seddon 11 Oct 2017

I'm due to get married in 2020 and to be honest one of my brides maids has been the same with me since I asked her be a bridesmaid everything in me wants to drop her but i can't get get myself to actually so not she also meant be my son's godmother next year as well so please I would love some advice on this subject as well xxx

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 11 Oct 2017

Hi to be honest with you she doesn't deserve to be your bridesmaid get rid :)

E Wilson
E Wilson 11 Oct 2017

Talk to her. Tell her it is ok if she doesn't want to do it. Giver her the option to step down.

Sharon McGuire
Sharon McGuire 11 Oct 2017

I'd talk to her first. Who knows what's going on unless you give her a chance, Maybe she's jealous, maybe there's marriage trouble in her family, maybe her own relationship is in trouble. I'd tell her that you were hoping this was going to be a special time for the two of you but that you feel she's not interested and that makes you sad. See if you can find out what might be behind her behaviour and let her know you are unhappy. If she continues to behave badly, then you are justified in dropping her.

Emma Nelson-Bailey
Emma Nelson-Bailey 12 Oct 2017

I'd talk to her. Ask her how she is and as much as you want to talk about your wedding and are excited, she may feel left out in terms of her life, if the conversation always turns to the wedding it can sometimes get a little much for those around us brides. I'm not saying she isn't interested and that your day isn't important, but I think a frank discussion with her is the best thing to do. She may have things going on right now that she may need help with, but doesn't want to ask as she knows your busy with the planning. Good luck.

Rebecca watson
Rebecca watson 16 Oct 2017

have to told her how you feel? she may be non the wiser of her behaviour. some people can be very self indulgent that they become oblivious to other people's needs.
if you have had this discussion and nothing has changed personally I wouldn't want her involvement. x

Rachel Agass
Rachel Agass 19 Oct 2017

The only solution really is to talk it out, as difficult as that prospect may seem you will feel so much better once you have & you know where you stand with one another & what you can then do going forward. I really think you should bear in mind though that your wedding is about you & your partner - no one else. Don't stand on ceremony (excuse the pun!) for anybody; this is a day that you will remember for the rest of your life and you should remember it for all the right reasons. Imagine how rubbish it would be to look back & regret keeping her as a bridesmaid because you were more concerned with rocking the boat than doing what is right for you.
Good luck! Xxx

Laura Wilkinson
Laura Wilkinson 24 Oct 2017

Definitely talk to her. Find out what's going on and explain how you feel too. Make sure she knows how upset you are x

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