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UKbride Member Request 10 Oct 2017

I'm getting married in just under a year in the church where my father is...

I'm getting married in just under a year in the church where my father is buried. I'm wondering whether this is a bad idea though as I get incredibly upset on days like his birthday and anniversary of his death, so wonder if I'll break down on my wedding day. Has anyone else been affected like this and how do you cope? Tia xx

19 Comments
Lisa Reynolds
Lisa Reynolds 10 Oct 2017

Ultimately it's a decision only you can make, but you might find it a comfort, knowing he is there with you.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

I think it’s sweet!!!

Make sure somebody is able to walk you down though - I’ve not known a single bride who’s father has passed that didn’t cry a little at the prospect of going down the aisle without him

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

My mum passed away I had loads of reminders of her we were married in the same church where my brother and sisters were christened I even had her wedding rings there were times where i was feeling quite down and emotional but i held out and only cried when I let balloons off for her in the evening. I wouldn't have done it any other way it felt like she was there with me and I think that got me through the day x

Rebecca Culver
Rebecca Culver 13 Oct 2017

Not sure if you have seen but you can get a little trinket in memory of your dad tied to you wedding flowers as a memory of having him there.
My twins unfortunately went with tinkerbell to never never land and I had a little table with their photo and a lit candle. You dad will be so proud of you and it's okay to cry sugar xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

We had a situation like this last year and the bride asked us to take a few pics of her laying flowers taken from her bouquet on the grave before the service, she found it helped with her thoughts on the day. xx

Gayle Houliston
Gayle Houliston 13 Oct 2017

I think brides break into tears easily on their wedding day anyway. So regardless of where you are there will be tears. It's your decision but it's kind of nice knowing he's not far away on your special day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

I get married in 5 weeks and 1 day. I'm getting married where my mam and dad got married. Also the date I'm getting married is the date of my dad's memory he died 12 year ago. I'm hoping that on the day it will make me feel like he is with me. My wedding date was booked for another date but due to some issues with date we changed it and as soon as I realised 18th november was a Saturday knew it was perfect day for my wedding x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

I think it's a beautiful idea. As the thought of him being there to watch you is amazing. I think it's like turning a hard part of your life into something beautiful.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

I think that day will be emotional day wherever you choose to get married . If you choose the church were your dad is laying to rest look at it that your dad is there on the day with you . That would be my decision xx

Crystal Hood
Crystal Hood 13 Oct 2017

Snap. Exactly your situation. I think I'll take comfort that my dad will be around in spirit. I wouldn't dream of getting married anywhere else though. I'm planning on playing tribute in a big way to my dad on the day, I know for sure I'm going to be a blubbering mess at some point.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

My dad passed away 5weeks b4 my wedding. I got married on his birthday. It was really tough for me not to break down in years but i had my family and friends around me and most importantly i was marrying the man i love.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

My dad passed away we got married on my mum and dad 49th wedding anniversary in the church that his funeral took place and he is buried in the graveyard next to it. I pinned a ring of his into my bouquet I wore my mum's veil that she wore on her wedding day exchanged coins at the alter that they used on their wedding day. I had a memorial candle on the alter and on the top table we had a memorial photo of him. I also went to his grave on the way to the church and me and my husband went to the grave after the ceremony. It was an emotional day but I know he was with us in spirit. If you want to have a good cry that day over it do as it is you're day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

I think it's a good idea - walking down the aisle is always a very emotional moment and there will be tears - not just yours - but I do think being in the same church will help you feel closer to him.
Have a strong person beside you who will talk with you as you walk down the aisle and fix your mind on the lovely man you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with who will be watching you and eagerly waiting for you to join him at the altar xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

It's your decision. You obviously picked the church for a reason,so decide if that still stands

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Oct 2017

It means the venue is more special to you and could could lay your bouquet on his grave once the ceremony is finished. That way he is still part of your day

Nicola Jones
Nicola Jones 13 Oct 2017

My dad's funeral was on Tuesday, today we were at our venue finalising menu choices. Everything seems crap but I know dad would not have wanted us to postpone. It will also be a bit of lift and jollyness before facing Christmas. We're having a special candle with a sign which says "....for all our absent friends......." as both h2b parents have passed and I also lost my sister in 2013.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2017

My dad died many years before my wedding. It was still emotional but I had charms on my shoes so my daddy still walked me down the aisle.

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2017

I cried my eyes out at my wedding but that was coz I've had a lot happen in my life and I was so overwhelmed to be getting my happily ever after. I lost my daughter in a previous relationship and got married two days after what would have been her 6th birthday, our rehearsal was on her birthday as was the only day we could do but in a way it made it as though she was closer. It is up to you but I would see it as having him still close by even though he will be looking down on you where ever you are. Weddings are very hard when such important people are missing but you have to enjoy you day and have a toast in their honour xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Oct 2017

I don’t think it really matters where you get married as you will feel sad he isn’t here x

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