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UKbride Member Request 9 Oct 2017

I want to de-bridesmaid to of my so called friends but don’t know how to...

I want to de-bridesmaid to of my so called friends but don’t know how to do it as we are 60 days away from the wedding. Basically they have been useless they haven’t been interested in my wedding at all the didn’t help pick bridesmaids dress or come see my dress and have asked little to nothing about it even though one of the girls is suppose to be my MOH. I had my hen night on Saturday which I had to organise everything we started with a meal and the plan was to go into Portsmouth for cocktails afterwards which they were on board with. After the meal I turned to them and said are they still coming so I can arrange lifts to get there what they didn’t have to pay for which they said the now didn’t have money and didn’t know one of my other friends who was going with me and claimed they had to be up early for work and would just rather go home. Little did I know that I went onto Portsmouth with my other friend and all the people and my two bridesmaids who said they couldn’t come for various reason had actually gone out into our local town and into the pubs for the rest of the night. They also treated me and my other friend terribly and at the table for the meal didn’t speak to either of us and they all sat down together so I was left to sit on the end by myself. I’ve been thinking of getting rid of them for a while and this is the last straw I’ve had enough they’ve been so rude, but don’t know who to tell them that this is now the case ?

35 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 9 Oct 2017

Hi get them all together and tell them you are very disappointed that they have shown no interest, therefore have decided that you will not be needing them for bridesmaids. You should have spoken up and got rid of them ages ago, good luck with the wedding :)

Claire Hellewell
Claire Hellewell 10 Oct 2017

Not something real friends would do to you :( just tell them how you feel and maybe also say if they didn't want to be bridesmaids they should have told you, and now they've acted like that tell them you don't want them now.. Good luck!

Megan Chaplen
Megan Chaplen 11 Oct 2017

Tell it how it is, why should you spare their feelings when they blatantly don’t give a crap about yours

Siobhan Knight-Potgieter
Siobhan Knight-Potgieter 11 Oct 2017

I would just tell them straight away no chance are they bridesmaids after their behaviour. Either demote them to standard guests or evening guests. Sounds like they won't even kick up a fuss x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

I'd confront then, then uninvite them.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

Just tell them that as they arnt interested there is no point. Must be horrible for you, I'm trying to plan mine and I've realised I've lost touch with alot of my female friends and I'm trying to get them to reconnect but they don't seem bothered

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

Text them and say exactly what u said above xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

Tell them to get lost. The fact that they lied and said they were going home when actually they were buggering off to have drinks else where shows you they aren't your friends. Don't beat around the bush. Tell them they are terrible friends and therefore why on earth would you want them to have anything to do with your wedding. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

I had a very similar issue with one of mine, I told her what I thought and that she was still invited but not as a bridesmaid. She ended up choosing not to come. My day was perfect and I didn't have to spend the weeks leading up to it wondering if she would do her jobs / let me down. It worked out great and I know the bridesmaids in my pictures were honoured to be there x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

I’m so sorry sweetie, that’s an awful way for them to treat you! If I were in your position I wouldn’t even bother getting them together, id send them each a text listing all the shit they’ve done/not done and then tell them that you don’t feel like they deserve to be your bridesmaids xxx good luck with your wedding honey xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

I’d just leave them. See if they contact you, you need to give them the arrangements for the day don’t bother. You can see if there bothered then!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

I wouldn't say anything blank them then just wait for them to turn up on the day and then say why are u here and not let them come lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

Just be honest with them, please or offend, tell them out right

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

Tell them and then if they kick up a fuss show them this feed to prove it's not okay behaviour and it's not you its them!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

My own mother and sister done this to me...took no interest in my wedding, didn't speak to anyone else at my hen do made it really awkward and then left early....neither came to my wedding....I had the best day of my life surrounded by people who love me. Get rid asap. X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

Just tell them they're out. They clearly don't care about it feelings so why should u? Hope u find better bridesmaids/friends

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

I wouldn't hold back sorry but this is your day and sounds like they obviously have no desire or interest. Tell them how angry and upset you are that they lied. If it was me I wouldn't even invite them if they don't care enough to be part of your day they probably won't even go as a guest. Sorry to be blunt but I've been there before and it takes the stress of worry for you. X

Katy Wing
Katy Wing 11 Oct 2017

Tell them straight, any true friends would never treat you like that!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

Tell them exactly what you have told us don't sugar coat it they have let you down in a big way x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

It’s your wedding and they are treating you like that ?!! Get rid of them. They aren’t worth the stress

Ceri Poulton
Ceri Poulton 11 Oct 2017

Sounds like they would probably be grateful of being stripped of bridesmaid status. Not on!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Oct 2017

I did same 6 DAYS before my wedding! Friend of 45 years too. She was slaughtering me behind my back. Best thing I've ever done. Had a fabulous day. Tell them their services are no longer required! Have a wonderful day

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

Ditch them - they are definately NOT friends

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

Just tell them straight up!!

Siobhan Ireland
Siobhan Ireland 12 Oct 2017

To be honest they don't sound like friends at all....I wouldn't pussyfoot about it. I would tell them straight that they are not the friends you thought they were and you don't want them being a part of your special days xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

Be upfront and honest with them. It is your day and they sound like they would ruin it for you. Their appalling behaviour is inexcusable.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

They obviously don't give a crap about you or your feelings so don't worry too much about theirs. Don't be horrible as that will justify their actions. Just say sorry but after the way they have acted their services and presence will no longer be required thankuou. Enjoy your day surrounded by those who love you xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

I had the exact same with my moh. We have been friends for 13 years and when we first got engaged I straight away asked her as we were so close!! The closer we got to the wedding the more distant she became... to the point she ignored my messages. In the end I was so fed up and hurt that I messaged her and basically said how disappointed I was about everything. She turned round and blamed me... saying I should have got in contact with her about everything. She didn't even try and sort my hen do... I realised at that point she didn't care. And I had the best wedding day ever. And I didn't even think of her :) just remember it's your day!! And they won't be making it a day you will remembwr... your and your husband to be Will! Have an amazing day xx

Leanne Harris
Leanne Harris 12 Oct 2017

God they sound awful! Bin them off. I'd send them a gif of Alan Sugar saying they're fired.

Miss Allen
Samantha Allen 12 Oct 2017

Simple just phone them up explain how you feel and that they have let you down and that they are no longer invited due to their behaviour.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

Kick them 2 da kerb

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

Ahhh This sounds so close to my situation!! Although my weddings only 14 days away i feel its just a little bit to late now.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 12 Oct 2017

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Sabrina Benson
Sabrina Benson 12 Oct 2017

That's sad I sorta know how you feel but I was moh and did everything for bride organised an awesome Hen do paid for all the party bags for everyone paid for drinks all night weren't cheap. She moaned wasn't what she wanted.didnt even invite my bf to the wedding

Joanne Lay-Treen
Joanne Louise Treen 13 Oct 2017

Jus get rid luv its ur day u want ppl u want around u

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