Has anyone got any tips for narrowing down a guest list? We're keeping...

Hi I would exclude the people that are causing the conflict :)

That's a difficult one but in the interest of having a conflict and comparatively stress free day I would exclude the aunts and uncles causing the problems but invite the cousins. Hope all goes smoothly.

I would not exclude anyone if you think that one day things could be resolved. Offer an invitation perhaps with a phone call. They may choose to decline which is fine but they may also want to be there for you and everyone is always on their best behaviour at a wedding x

Your wedding, your rules!! Invite who you want to invite, if they can’t be in each other’s company for 1 day & respect you enough to behave, tell them to feel free to decline your invitation!!x

If they can't put their problems to one side for one day don't invite them.... they should for one day in their lives be concentrating on you anyway xx

I have said to people who are currently in conflict "I'm inviting both you and X because you mean a lot to me, however, if you cannot be civil and pleasant for one day, don't come" it means that you don't have to make choices on who you do invite or don't - and it also puts the ball in their court to be adults. That's what I did. It might not work for you. Good luck.

Chat to the people who you know can cause conflict and make it clear that not behaving on your wedding day is unforgivable. Also if you do need to exclude people that's ok too , it is your day and you don't need to worry about anything! When I got married I think I even considered getting hiring a doorman at one point just in case! X

Invite who you want there and love - they will behave because they love you too.

If they love you they will get on or just stay away from each other, and if thy done they are very selfish to ruin your big day x

If your excluding aunts and uncles I would also exclude cousins and keep your reception to nearest and dearest friends and family. Otherwise your going to have a battle on your hands about why you haven't invited your auntie but invited her kids etc etc xx

I had the same issue. I've invited everyone, in the hopes that they will be dignified and behave themselves on our special day. If they don't, they will be asked to leave, simple. Why should we have to compromise on having everyone we care about there, just because a few people don't get on? x

We've the same issue with my h2b's parents. Quite simply, it's pick a seat, not a side, and the first one that puts a toe over the line (in any way) will be told to go and not come back (ever)... h2b's decision x

Don’t make their argument your argument.

They are adults n need to act as such if they truly love you

I read if you haven't seen them in last three months a cut is perfectly acceptable

TBH if I was in this situation I would invite ALL I wanted to invite regardless of conflicts ..... if you haven't seen the family or friends for over six months or a year or they don't make an effort with you then I wouldn't invite. But I personally believe that when being invited to a wedding it's the couples special day and an opportunity for conflict to be put aside for those you love and are celebrating with. Issues should be put aside for the couples day. You could put on the invites in small print they're may be guests your not entirely happy being around but it's your decision if you want to come and this day is mine and h2b's so please respect and remember that. But if it was me I wouldn't put the small print I believe its up to the guests to be mature and adult... if you don't like someone don't sit near them or approach them!! Just give them a wide birth and help celebrate the day!! I hope this helps Xx

Exclude any one who's causing a problem you don't want that sort of nuisance at your wedding.

Same issue I face!! I have decided to invite everyone I want to be there, if they choose not to come it will be their decision however many have told me that they love me and want me to enjoy my special day and so will not cause any problems. Do what your heart tells you. It’s your day, remember that!!! X

I've got one guest who's rival is 1 of my bridesmaids and if said guest causes any problems she's out! Her boyfriend has said she will be good on the day and not cause issues, surely for 1 day they can all call a truce x

If you are worried about any arguments sit down with these people and explain that you are inviting them because they are important to you but if there is any conflict or any snide remarks then they will be asked to leave which is not what you want but you want to make sure your day is special for you and your other guests! Hopefully they will understand and put all issues to the side for the day! Xx

Exclude the ones that cause conflict

I have the same problems! However I’ve opt for inviting them al. They can put there differences aside for one DAY or a few HOURS. There still my family at end of the day. If they start on the night then they’ll jus be removed x

I had a day buffet etc with close friends and family then in the evening just invited others to the disco. No food, but I told people beforehand. All was fine.

I've had the same issues. I've chosen to only exclude people that I am happy to. It's your day. If your nearest and dearest can't get along for that then you have to ask yourself do any of them deserve to be there! Do what makes you happy, not other People!

I had a very similar situation - table plan was a bloody nightmare! I just invited everyone. Some people didn't come and the ones that did simply stayed out of each others way and one couple left earlier than the rest. It was fine. They would have to be world class assholes to have cross words on your big day!

My husband and I made a rule at the beginning it was to be our day and we always said we would have the people that meant the most to us , we stuck to this we didn't listen to anyone else about who should and shouldn't be there, and our day was perfect go with your what you two want xx good luck

I have this problem with h2b’s grandparents.. we would like them both there but feel one of them won’t come as this has happened with family parties in the past. But surely it nice to invite them.. has one got tips for evening guest though h2b inviting the world and his wife 🙄

Me and my fiancé are having the same issue, we are only inviting certain family members who we are closest too. You have to do what is best for you both, it is you’re day and do what makes you happy. People who cause conflict do not deserve to be there, it is always best to keep it to your nearest and dearest in my opinion x

As my now daughter in law said. Only invite those who you see regularly and would be happy buying a meal for. Why invite those who you don't or hardly see.
If they can't be behaved in your special day don't invite them