Abigail Evans
Abigail Evans 6 Oct 2017

my MIL is helping plan and get stuff for the wedding but seams to be taking...

my MIL is helping plan and get stuff for the wedding but seams to be taking over as though its hers, making it all about herself and telling people we buy stuff off that I like a rustic theme when I really don't, my OH has had a word but she doesn't seam to listen and its really bugging me I have no idea what to do, does anyone have any advice or tips on what I can do ?

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 6 Oct 2017

I think that, unfortunately, it will have to be you that speaks to her rather than your OH. I wish I had known that in my younger life because it would have laid better ground rules and I would have had more respect given/

Lucy Mumberson
Lucy Mumberson 6 Oct 2017

Just sit her down over a coffee or something and just tell her it’s your day and you want what you and your OH want, say something like you don’t mind her input of opinions etc, but she shouldn’t be taking over at the end of the day it’s YOUR wedding not hers, hope you sort it x

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 6 Oct 2017

I do think it will have to be you to talk to her. You can always do it with your OH there though if that helps you x

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 6 Oct 2017

Hi it is time that you spoke up :)

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 6 Oct 2017

Open your mouth don't make your man do it

Sheryl McAllister
Sheryl McAllister 7 Oct 2017

You need to tell her.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Oct 2017

Its YOUR and your h2b day. Not hers. She needs to be reminded if this.
Have a polite word.with her. Tell.her you dont like rustic stuff. Tell everyone.
Why is she butting in?
Can you make plans and do.stuff without her knowing?
My son and his fiancee are arranging their.day the way they want it.
I wouldn't dream of trying to take over their plans.
It's not my day.its theirs.
I must admit sometimes i do.feel.left out of things as I am Mog and as such dont have a lot to do compared to mob And its the Mob who normally has more involvement in things.
But that's the way it is as its her daughter. But i.am.on hand to.assist in any way i can if needed anytime.
Maybe your future mum.in law feels left out and is going OTT.

Bethan Roberts
Bethan Roberts 7 Oct 2017

Men don't know how to tell their mothers, you need to do it yourself. Just put yourself a plan together and go over and show her that's what you want

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Oct 2017

Could you give her one element which is entirely hers to do whatever with?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Oct 2017

Janice Dinsmore this is you

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Oct 2017

Put your foot down before it’s too late, unfortunately sometimes you have to just rip off the bandaid x

Leanne Harris
Leanne Harris 8 Oct 2017

It'll have to come from you. I always put "would you mind" at the beginning of my sentence I.e. would you mind leaving the planning up to me as I feel like too many cooks etc. Is that okay? Not many people kick up a fuss and say well, yes I do mind actually or no it's not okay. Unless your MIL is a dick!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Oct 2017

Could you say something along of the lines you just want to focus one thing at a time give her a task that should take a good amount of time such as handmade name plates for the table let her do that and you carry on ?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Oct 2017

You know she probably thinks she's being helpful and a few gentle words would help . Maybe thank her for help and that you decided you like this type of wedding and show her some pics of the type you like . You could put her in charge of maybe getting the cake sorted if she hasn't got a daughter it maybe why and that she's never going to get the chance again. Xx

Miss Allen
Samantha Allen 8 Oct 2017

Maybe go out for a coffee with her and explain how you feel, you need to put her straight before you let it ruin your big day.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 10 Oct 2017

I think it's going to have to come from you and until you say anything I don't think it's going to change... it can be difficult with in laws but I do think that it sounds like she's excited which is a compliment... however make it clear that you would love help with (making up favours etc) but the theme planning etc is something you already have set in your mind and you and h2b are sorting it. She may not even realise she's doing it??? Either way she's going to listen to her son ... if you've not said anything she'll probably disregard the comments .


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