Hello, so I never thought I'd have this kind of dilemma. I have been engaged now since May. We had decided on the venue and date a few weeks ago, haven't put a deposit down yet but we are in the process of booking it. This weekend I went to a friend's engagement party, and was surprised to find out that she wants to make me bridesmaid. This would be great and I would love to do it, but I also found out that she wants to get married abroad, roughly 2 weeks after my wedding. She can't book anything yet because apparently you can only book 18 months in advance, but she has this huge list as to why that date would be special. Now I have no clue what to do. What would you do?
Hi your marriage comes first :)
Get married, it'll be a fun couple of weeks
Why not start or end your honeymoon with her wedding?
I cant say I understand the issue?
You've chosen a venue, and have a date in mind, brilliant.
You are a bridemaid, at your friends wedding, on a date that is special to her, 2 weeks after yours, also brilliant. Plus you have (roughly) 2 weeks between the dates.
I cant see an issue in any of that, if anything, it sounds like something exciting you could share. I guess the only thing it may have an effect on, is your honeymoon? Although you haven't mentioned a honeymoon. Could you have the honeymoon it the same place she's having her wedding, and celebrate the wedding at the end of the honeymoon? Like I said, I may be missing the point as I dont see an issue?
Keep your date, your date is just as special to you two as well as her date is special to her
Use it as a honeymoon maybe go out a few days later or earlier then you can also have alone time with your h2b. Thing is holidays have to be paid about three months before you go xx
Dnt see the issue u can still do both
You shouldn't have to change your wedding date because of this, however you need to consider if it is a good idea to be her bridesmaid, planning a wedding is stressful enough and your focus will be on your wedding where it should be, but being a bridesmaid is a role with jobs and responsibilities so you need to make sure your happy to be both and that she is happy you have your wedding that comes first. Is she your bridesmaid? As there's a lot to consider it might be better on your friendship to just be a guest? It's a big thing and you will really need each other especially during the lead up x
I can't really see what the problem is here? If it was the same day I would get it's an issue... Get married on your date and then 2 weeks later go to hers. You can both plan together! And will be an amazing couple of weeks! If you're worried about your honeymoon, someone put it to me when I was planning that it's nice not to go on a honeymoon straight away, as you'll have all the stress of packing on top of planning and preparing for your wedding day. Have a 2 week gap in between. You could start your honeymoon with her wedding and then go onto somewhere else. Congratulations to both of you!
What's your issue with it? Is it the cost so soon after your wedding? Does it mean you'll have to cut your honeymoon short or something? Was you hoping to have a couple of weeks rest after your wedding? Or do you just not like it being so close to your date?
Is she offering to pay for you to go abroad as her bridesmaid for her wedding?? If so then that's great, you can have your special day and then be there to support your friend on her special day. If you are covering the cost yourself for her wedding then check your budget. Can you afford to do both, considering all monies will be due around the same time?
I wouldn't be changing my date and personally wouldn't want to honeymoon with friends but that is just me. Talk to your friend and be honest about your situation xx
For everyone who can't see the issue I think this is the issue:
One, she hasn't told anyone her date so her friend may be funny that she's booked it two weeks before the date they've announced?
Two, she's now gonna have to fork out for another abroad holiday if she doesn't want her honeymoon abroad on top of paying for her wedding
Three, weddings are stressful enough as it is and planning two is gonna be horrific lol (being a bridesmaid you help the bride with planning I'd assume)
Four, maybe she feels bad she wasn't gonna ask her friend to be bridesmaid?
Or maybe I'm missing the point. I actually don't think it's a bad idea, but I do see why she feels uneasy about it x
If its a cost/time issue then just be honest with her.
Tell her you're really happy for her & honoured to be asked as a bridesmaid, but that you just can't afford to attend the wedding with it being abroad, and you will struggle to commit time to helping make plans around making your own.
If she really is your friend, then she will understand xx
Keep your date and be her bridesmaid. Sorted!
One of my bridesmaids is getting married a week after us, just need to each be realistic about what you can help with in the run up to the wedding.
Your wedding should be paramount when making decisions. I know i wouldnt be able to do 2 holidays abroad cost wise plus time off work etc. I would explain this to your friend and if she is a good friend she would absolutley understand. Then if the options of you not going away for her wedding are a no no then at least youve told her why and she can arrange for ither bridesmaids. Unless of course its an all expenses paid job and which is highly unlikely x
I think.a wedding is more important tban.a party. Its an engagment party....but just a party.
Your wedding is an important ceremony. A commitment. This comes first above all.else.
Its an.expensive time for you. Does she really expect you to.shell out more money so close to your wedding?
Dont change your wedding date.
Have a chat and explain how difficult it will be so close to the wedding and how stressful it will be.
Concentrate on your day.
If you're worried about her thinking you have purposely booked yours 2 weeks before hers then you need to have a word with her asap. I know it's petty but I have seen a lot of people on here go in full bridezilla mode over something like that! If it's the cost then you also need to explain the situation.
I think the issue is affording to go abroad 2weeks after she herself gets married
Just book your it's two weeks not end off world you can still be bridesmaids to her and so on and long as everything planned and arranged well it can work
If you haven't put a deposit down yet and it's really bothering you I would change the date of your own wedding x
You do really know what you want to do already
Just do what you want to do no one can advise you only you know what you want
One of my best friends got married 2 weeks after me and although I wasn't a bridesmaid I was very heavily involved. It's fantastic having someone to talk to about wedding drama etc and someone who knows what you are going through. Can't see a problem with it at all. You just need to make sure appointments for things don't clash. What an exciting time for you both xx