UKbride Member Request 17 Sep 2017

Hi all, I got engaged in January and immediately told my two best friends...

Hi all, I got engaged in January and immediately told my two best friends that I would like them to be bridesmaids. They were really pleased and accepted. Fast forward to a few months ago and one of those friends also got engaged. I was really pleased for her but one night she asked me if I would be offended if I wasn't invited to the wedding because she was planning on only having family. I was devastated, I didn't expect to be a bridesmaid at all but I didn't expect to be cut out of the wedding. The reason I asked her to be bridesmaid is because I think of her as family but obviously she doesn't feel the same. Now I just feel like an idiot and sad every time I see her and I don't want to talk about wedding things or plan anything with her. What do I do? I can't un-ask her but it's ruining my excitement and it really hurts.

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 17 Sep 2017

Hi just tell her how hurt you are feeling :)

Susan Coleclough
Susan Coleclough 17 Sep 2017

I can understand how hurt you are feeling but try to see it from her side too. Firstly she did take time to speak to you about your invitation and explained that it was only going to be family. There are always lots of things we don't know, even about our close friends. It may be that they don't have the same sort of budget you do or pressure is coming from somewhere else for a family only wedding. Try not to let it spoil your excitement because I am sure she would not want to spoil things for you. As you are planning your own wedding I am sure you can see how difficult it can be to please all of the people all of the time.

E Wilson
E Wilson 17 Sep 2017

I would talk yo her. I'm sure there is a very good reason. I know with our wedding we have to keep our numbers down for the day so have had to cut some people which has made some upset with us.

Alison Jarvis
Alison Jarvis 17 Sep 2017

I'd invite her for coffee and have a chat, I'd also let her know how hurt not been invited made you feel. Hopefully if you are good friends, you'll have a good weep and a good laugh and then be able to move forward and enjoy the rest of planning your wedding and be reassured that she is the good friend you thought she was


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