Jo Armstrong
Jo Armstrong 13 Sep 2017

I recently got engaged and am looking to have an engagement party. As myself...

I recently got engaged and am looking to have an engagement party. As myself and my partner have our own places and will eventually be living together we don't really need anything house wise. I'd it rude to ask for monetary gifts instead. As we are planning our wedding this would come in very handy. Your views would be greatly appreciated.

74 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

You don't get gifts for an engagement party you get gifts at your wedding reception.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We had an engagement party but didn't expect any presents and didn't get any. Would never ask for money. X

Eloise Ansell
Eloise Ansell 13 Sep 2017

What would your request for wedding gifts be? We are asking for money for the wedding to go on our honeymoon. I think it's more common for people to ask for money for gifts as a lot of people have there own house stuff already

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We asked for Thompson vouchers and money for our wedding gifts only had a small wedding and managed a £550 deposit for honeymoon and a much needed new Hoover xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Engagement isn't a gift giving occasion

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

I had a small engagement party and people brought a bottle of bubbly and a card. We didn't ask for anything and if people asked we said wait until the wedding x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Gift giving its completely optional and not common at engagement parties. People normally just bring a bottle of wine at the most, and maybe one or two close friends might get something little.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Disagree, we had loads of presents for our engagement party. Fortunately we don't have our own place yet so a lot of stuff will come in handy once we do. Don't think you can really state money or not for an engagement party but people won't spend as much as for a wedding, so if you do get stuff, it will be hopefully stuff you can make use of. And if people know you have your own places already, they will take that into account when buying gifts. We are students so everything and anything was great for us for when we have our own place

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Personally I don't think you should ASK for anything, that is presumptuous

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

I think expecting gifts at an engagement party is a bit rude tbh, but not a problem for wedding reception.

Megan Chaplen
Megan Chaplen 13 Sep 2017

We didn't ask for gifts or cash, and people just gave us money and bottles of champagne anyway.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

I don't think you should ask for anything at an engagement party to be honest. Most that will gift you will probably do it in cash form anyway. To ask outright will come across rude and presumptuous.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Agree, I think most people would bring a card and maybe a bottle of bubbly to an engagement party, I'd only give a gift at the wedding x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

we said we dont want any gifts but if people want to get us something donations to our wedding fund would be helpful... after receiving messages from people asking what we wanted.. we were given about £200 towards our wedding .. plus received bottles of wine, personalised photo frames and money boxes etc.

x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Why would you ask for anything? That's rude.
It's an engagement party... not a wedding. Don't expect anything but a lovely party and people celebrating

Donna Green
Donna Green 13 Sep 2017

I had a party and we got loads of cards with money in and some bottles of wine. And we didn't even mention presents to anyone has we didn't expect any xx

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 13 Sep 2017

Hi engagement presents used to be given but now they don't :)

Amy Wakefield
Amy Wakefield 13 Sep 2017

We recently had our engagement party. Our friends mainly brought us wine & champagne glasses. But family was mainly money or gift vouchers. As long as you feel you won't offend anyone but asking for monetary gifts, go ahead it will all help.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We didnt ask for engagement gifts, to be honest most people gave us a bottle of bubbly which was gratefully received! I wouldn't expect much in the way of engagement party presents to be honest and would be happy with a card. Wedding gifts are a different thing but I wouldn't personally ask for anything at all, if someone wants to get you something they'll probably ask what you want in which case its fine to say just money but othetwise I dont think you should ask

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

You could put on the invite.
" Gifts are not necessary but if you insist maybe could contribute to the wedding fund"

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

I think go ahead for wedding presents. But we had an engagement party and didn't expect gifts at all. I'd say 1/3 brought a gift, 1/3 just a card and 1/3 nothing. I think it's presumptuous to assume people will bring you a gift x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We didn't get engagement gifts, nor did we expect any!! Lots of lovely cards though and a few silly little things like a money box with 'wedding fund' on it. I don't think you can expect money at an engagement party x

Hazel Cottrell
Hazel Cottrell 13 Sep 2017

We have simply said - no presents required, your presence is all we need

Our engagement party is for friends and family to meet, and we were keen to tell people that; its not just a chance to get more presents.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We never even thought about asking for gifts for our engagement party. It's the wedding they will give you gifts for which you can say what you'd prefer. Of course some people will gift you with an engagement present but I don't think you should assume everyone will and then tell them what to get you. The odd people that do get you a gift will most likely get you champagne.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We are the same, we are asking for monetary gifts if people would like too.

Hazel Cottrell
Hazel Cottrell 13 Sep 2017

If money is tight then don't have an engagement party - if you ask for money it may seem that's the only reason you had the party?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

You will find for a engagement party you will propably have lots of wine bottles given

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We didn't ask for any gifts for our engagement party but asked for money towards our honeymoon for our wedding and got about £4500

Chloejade Scholey
Chloejade Scholey 13 Sep 2017

I only received two engagement presents I don't think people really do them any more but do whatever you feel comfortable doing x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We asked for gifts cards towards our new home appliances, so I don't see anything wrong with asking for the money in place of gifts, just write a nice poem or something that explains it nicely XX

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We got lots of gifts at our party even though we told people not to and we also got lots of money too I think it wouldn't be rude to say that you don't expect any gifts but I don't know about asking for money. It probably isn't rude to say you'd prefer money I just wouldn't as I'd be worried people will think they'd have to even if you say they don't x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

My step daughter went on line and found a poem along the lines . They don't need gifts but cash would be great. They still got a few things. I don't know how much they did get but had a post box for cards.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We had our engagement party a couple of weeks ago. Nearly everyone gave us a gift mostly champagne some money. We didn't ask for anything as I didn't even know engagement presents were a thing!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

we did and for our wedding and no one was offended. we got a few keepsakes gifts too but i love those!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Engagement presents are still given. I received loads. Like yourself we had two houses in asked for money for our wedding I loved receiving engagement presents as they are a well momento

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We were so lucky as we had lots of very Generous friends and family who supplied us with many a bottle of bubbly(result!!) I would suggest bringing a basket or a post box as people like bringing cards and it gives you somewhere safe to keep them during the evening! X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Cameron Tubb

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Ask for money for wedding gifts. As for engagement gift dont ask. I
Let guests ask you what you want first

Amy Nisbet
Amy Nisbet 13 Sep 2017

I had an engagement party and to be honest it was £1000 I could have used towards my wedding.
Present wise, you shouldn't expect anything, it's not like a wedding and if you expect things you will be very disappointed because many people don't gift for engagement x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

You shouldn't be having a party to get gifts in return
If u have a party it's to celebrate
Yr news, ANY gifts should be gratefully received and are a bonus

Danielle Ryde
Danielle Ryde 13 Sep 2017

Myself and my fiance are asking for money for a honeymoon we don't really need anything as our parents and ourselves will get what we need housewise

Demi-Paige Black
Demi-Paige Black 13 Sep 2017

People brought gifts to our engagement party. I wouldn't say it's cheeky. We just said to people of you don't have the money for a gift buy us a drink. Don't get why people are so offended on here for saying what type of gift you's would.like.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

When we had our engagement party I never even thought that anybody would give us presents, we just wanted to share our happiness. But the presents that we did get were amazing. Really heartfelt and thoughtfull. I wouldn't worry about that for your party and just have a good time.

E Wilson
E Wilson 13 Sep 2017

Engagement gifts generally aren't a thing. We had a party and certainly didn't expect anything. We did get a few lovely gifts such as personalised money boxes and plaques. A bottle of champagne, we had some mugs with a quote on.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Just ask for money towards your honeymoon.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Didn't ask for any gifts for our engagement party. Can't expect people to buy gifts for that and a wedding.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We didn't ask for any gifts for our engagement party. We were given lots of bottles of Fizz to celebrate the announcement but I wouldn't expect people to give engagement gifts

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We asked for nothing for the engagement and nothing for the wedding I think if you're not having a gift list its rude to tell people you want money and you'll find a lot of people will probably give you money anyway without asking so I wouldn't bother personally. We got some lovely personalised engagement gifts money and tonnes of champagne it's was lovely x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Engagement party presents are more personalised bits, fizz and money or vouchers anyway so I wouldn't say anything. Then ask for money as a wedding gift (tactfully) x

Sylvie Scholefield
Sylvie Scholefield 13 Sep 2017

We've asked for Thomas cook vouchers which as we love to travel will come in handy

Stephanie Wood
Stephanie Wood 13 Sep 2017

People say engagement gifts aren't a thing and I wasn't aware of them until I received them myself despite not having a party. However, I'm not sure about whether asking for gifts at an engagement party is the done thing.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Ummmm if I had a request on an invite to an engagement party I probably wouldn't get anything. Otherwise I would probably give champagne or a photo frame maybe. Most people don't give engagement presents. So...don't ask for anything unless you are asked in which case the correct response is "you don't need to buy us a present, we are just having a party to celebrate with you all". If someone insists then explain you don't need anything but if they want to, you will like anything they choose. Don't ask for money...you can for your wedding but that's it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

You can get a pile of stuff for engagement without being engraved. My niece recently got engaged and I have bought her engagement things

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Never heard of asking for gifts for an engagement, though some friends did get champagne and glasses to help celebrate

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

We mostly got champagne and money and a couple of gift cards but we didn't expect or ask for anything

Emily Barnett
Emily Barnett 13 Sep 2017

We didn't ask for gifts for our engagement quite a few people gave us gifts and vouchers though

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Myself and my partner had an engagement party. Like most people have said, we didn't expect anything and didn't think engagement presents were a thing! We got lots though! Lots of bottles of alcohol, presents and over 1k in cash. Non of which we expected!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Close friends/family asked us about Engagement gifts but we didn't realise it was a thing so didn't ask for anything specific. Most people who came to the party gave us small gifts - lots of bottles of fizz some wedding count down plaques and a few flowers/chocolates. Most people I'd say spent £5 or less more as thank you gift for the invite rather than anything else. If you want money for your wedding I'd recommend setting up a place for people to contribute when you send out the invites as most people set up accounts where guests can contribute to a honeymoon.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Definitely too cheeky

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Why would you ask for gifts at all, you'll probably get gifts on your wedding day, why do you think you'd get them for getting engaged?

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

Surely if you have already set up your own homes people would use common sense and not go and buy you a toaster. I think that's a thing of the past. I wouldnt expect gifts so just be happy with whatever you receive x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

I had a invite that was worded brilliantly for this!!

If you feel the need to buy a present
May we ask that you give us money instead
As we have everything we need for a home
And we wish to make some memories.
However the best present you can give is just you being there.

It was something along those lines. Put nicely it can be a really good request! X x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 13 Sep 2017

I personally wouldn't be asking for money unless I was asked if there was something we wanted but your choice.

Natasha Stephen
Natasha Stephen 14 Sep 2017

We didn't have an engagement party, but people asked us what we would like for presents. We already live together but we still needed a few household items and we asked for money too so we can put towards the wedding funds.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 14 Sep 2017

I see comments saying rude and cheeky on here but what you ladies have to remember that tradition is different from country to country . Here in the U.K. Most guests prefer giving money or vouchers as saves them getting a gift they already have . Many couples in U.K. have lived together for years and years and already live together and have everything they need . I got married last year and family & friends were happy to give money for our honeymoon . I'm also a florist and most of my clients some in Australia, Canada and USA ask for money at both .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2017

Personally i wouldn't ask for money,but would say if someone asked me

I never had engagement party however close family and friends bought gifts and some cash

I would always bring something when going to a party as a gift though

Gemma Julianne
Gemma Julianne 16 Sep 2017

Usually people get a bottle of prosecco or champagne to says congratulations. Lovely thought X

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 16 Sep 2017

We had a party but got champagne as gifts and photo frame for the evening... gifts aren't really the thing for an engagement part

Louise Rayner
Louise Rayner 18 Sep 2017

On the invites, just put something saying, please don't buy any gifts, as we already have two of everything .... people will then choose whether to give you a monetary gift or just a card. Gifts are usually given at the wedding. Some however do give small gestures x

Jo Armstrong
Jo Armstrong 8 Nov 2017

Thank you for all your comments. People have been asking what we want which is why I put the post up. I think defo leave it for the wedding. Thanks everyone

Naomi Chappel
Naomi Chappel 8 Nov 2017

You dont ask for gifts for an engagement do. You might get the odd one like a bottle of bubbly but I wouldnt expect them x

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 8 Nov 2017

I don't think you get gifts at an engagement party

Lauren Keable
Lauren Keable 8 Nov 2017

We had an engagement party and people gave us bottles of bubbly etc and then close family gave us money saving pots and cash. It isn't something you ask for presents for though

Chloé Roe
Chloé R 8 Nov 2017

I wouldn't expect a gift at an engagement party. I would take a gift in the form of something personal/ bottles of bubbles depending on how close I was to that person.

Comment

Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?