UKbride Member Request 11 Sep 2017

Sorry for the lengthy question but....although its 16 months until we get...

Sorry for the lengthy question but....although its 16 months until we get married, my Fiancé is getting a head start on his speech, but he has asked me for help in one area and I don’t know how best to advise him, so I’m hoping you can help. When it comes to thanking the parents of the bride, he can’t think of anything positive to say. My Dad didn’t bring me up, he wasn’t around much and wasn’t the best Dad when he was. He loves me and wasn’t cruel or anything he just wasn’t good at being a Dad. So my Mum brought me up, but she died nearly 20 years ago. I have a pretty good relationship with my Dad now but he has never really been there for me, and whilst he loves me, I know I can never rely on him. In fact, he relies on me. The relationship is probably balanced the wrong way round if I’m honest, unlike most parent/ child relationships, I do more giving and he does more taking, but I’ve got used to that and I’ve accepted it, as has my Fiancé, it’s just one of those things in life. I have been pretty self-sufficient since I was 16 so I didn’t need much from my Mum either when she was alive but she was always there for me and even took me on holiday when I was earning my own money or remembered my Birthday or other important stuff that was happening in my life. Unfortunately, my Dad is unintentionally inconsiderate and his world really is all about him and my Step Mum (whom he has been married to for 33 years). Even when big things are happening in my life, he tends to forget about them or forgets details. Even after 10 years, he still asks me how old my Fiance’s Mother is, even though she is 13 days older than he is. So when it comes to the speech, my Fiancé is struggling to do the whole bit where you thank the bride’s parents for bringing up their daughter (because my Dad and Step Mum didn’t), where you thank them for all the things they did for her (they honestly haven’t done anything for me). This isn’t meant to sound bitter, because I’m not and neither is my Fiancé, he just doesn’t want to say anything untrue because not only will it be a lie but he cannot fib to save himself and he knows he will sound disingenuous and will show all over his face, plus my Dad would know that it’s not true and I think he would be embarrassed by it to be honest. Does anyone have any suggestions of anything nice and general that sounds complimentary but doesn’t make a hypocrite out of either of us?

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 11 Sep 2017

Hi I would tell him just don't mention your parents :)

Jessica Bateman
Jessica Bateman 11 Sep 2017

Or just thank him for bringing you into the world

Gaynor Charles
Gaynor Charles 11 Sep 2017

tell him to just thank them for creating a wonderful human being who grew into beautiful selfless and strong woman x

Amber Neat
Amber Neat 12 Sep 2017

Either don't mention your parents or thank your dad for bringing you into this world so you could be together and for creating a strong woman who he wants to be with

Kayleigh Eldridge
Kayleigh Eldridge 13 Sep 2017

I would'nt mention your parents if it is not positive, tell him to say things about you instead maybe, for what you do for him that makes him love you so much, and to thank you instead :)

Sharlee Ferguson
Sharlee Ferguson 18 Sep 2017

Like everyone else has said either thank him for helping make u and vringing you into this world so he had a nice strong independent woman or just don't mention him at all

Good luck xx


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