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UKbride Member Request 5 Sep 2017

Hello, we are beginning to plan our wedding and i'm going to ask my...

Hello, we are beginning to plan our wedding and i'm going to ask my bridesmaids in the next few days. I just wanted to ask if we are expected to pay for their dresses or is it acceptable for them to pay for their own?

74 Comments
Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 5 Sep 2017

Hi If you can afford you pay if not ask them to do it :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I've asked my bridesmaids to pay for their own. However I have offered to pay for their hair and make up on the day

Angie Norris
Angie Norris 5 Sep 2017

my 2 moh insisted on paying for theirs & im paying for the 3 bridesmaids.x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

My lovely bridesmaids have offered to buy their own. As long as they are the colour I want they can wear whatever they are comfortable in. I'm quite easy going with that.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I personally think if I want them to be my bridesmaid then I should be paying for their dresses.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses and shoes etc I'm having 6

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I think if your asking them to be in your bridal party then you should pay xx

Emma Bonnar
Emma Bonnar 5 Sep 2017

I'm paying for my 3 bridesmaid and 2 flower girls. I have said if you want hair and make up doing they can pay for that x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

We are paying for ours and they are getting their own shoes x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

Your wedding...your job to pay in my eyes!! I wouldn't have dreamt asking my girls to pay for their dresses....and ild have hated even more if 1 of them couldn't be one because they couldn't afford it!!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I paid half each with my bridesmaids but I paid for my flowergirl. As they were paying half I gave them choices of dress but let them pick

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I believe bride and groom should pay and if you can't afford to have bridesmaids dont have them. Even if mine were happy to buy their own I wouldnt dream of asking. I'm paying for dresses, hair and make up and only asking them to sort shoes

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I've been a bridesmaid 4 times and I've always bought my own dress, shoes etc, I'm getting married this week and have bough my maid of honour her dress but she has bought her shoes and everything else, I'm only having the one so it wasn't to expensive but if you're planning on having lots of bridesmaids maybe ask them to chip in x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

maybe set a budget of what you can afford for their dresses and if they dont like one within that budget they could put the rest to it? with my bridesmaids, i have 4.. im going shopping in the Jan. sales with them to get their dresses. i just told them to get their own shoes so they are comfortable on the day. x

Chloe Peters
Chloe Peters 5 Sep 2017

I'm paying for Bridesmaids dresses - if they've got to put up with me babbling about wedding stuff & roping them into help with everything over the next year, the least I can do is buy their dresses, hair ups & shoes. 🙂

Emma-mathew Hopkins
Emma-mathew Hopkins 5 Sep 2017

All my are paying for the own and they more then happy to x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I assumed the ones getting married paid for most

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

i have 8 bridesmaids & am paying for their dresses, shoes & hair.. the only thing i have said is that if they want their make up done they can pay for that, if not i am happy for them to do it themselves.. i'm not by any means made of money but i wouldn't ask someone to be a bridesmaid & then expect them to have to pay for the privilege x

Sophia Stonehill-Brooks
Sophia Stonehill-Brooks 5 Sep 2017

I have 6 bridesmaids I have said I will pay for there dresses but they can pay for and choose there own shoes.. which they are all happy with.. My MOH has said that maybe they should be paying for the hair and makeup aswell but I'm u sure if he want them too as I want to make all the decisions if I pay I can have more control.. but it's person preference and if there not happy to pay for the dress then may e make other compromises like they pay for shoes and jewellery or make up and hair 😊 x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

When i asked my bridesmaids they all offered to pay for their own anyway. They knew we were doing our wedding on the very cheap (1400) so they all agreed on a dress and bought them online for about £30 each. I just gave them the colour and they were happy to buy their own x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I paid for all dresses (got them off eBay which is why I was able to afford them) I paid for their hair to be done and the adults bought their own shoes, I bought the young ones as I had 7 youngens (nieces) we done our own make up xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

It depends on what you want. If you want them to wear exactly what you want then I think you should pay. If you're ok with a general scheme ( pick a dress in sky blue and wear whatever you're comfy in) then I think they'd be o.k. with paying. Mine are.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

Personally I wouldn't have ask my girls 2pay as its my wedding but I have known a few people who hav payed for the dress but the bridesmaid has payed for her shoes!!im makeing my bridesmaids dresses..its a lot cheeper if ur able to do it! There is a good website that sells dresses at a reasonable price X
jjshouse.co.uk

Lindsay Coombes
Lindsay Coombes 5 Sep 2017

I would mention when you ask them that money is tight and would they be able to pay towards and agree a limit. If you choose a dress over it then you pay the difference. I paid for my bridesmaids, they sorted their shoes. I have also been a bridesmaid for someone who expected me to pay for the dress which I didn't mind but it came as a shock.

As long as you talk about it when you ask it should not be an issue. Enjoy planning x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

It's everyone's choice but I personally would never have asked my bmaids to pay for there own stuff

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I've bought the dresses, jewellery and paid for makeup and hair . Shoes they pay for themselves x

Debbie Watt
Debbie Watt 5 Sep 2017

Hi I think it's fine as long as it's not expensive dresses ours cost 60 each I have 5 bridesmaids but 3 are my sisters 1 is my daughter an 1 is my BFF and there is no way we could afford to have them if they didn't ..we only decided 5 month's ago to get married so never had the time to save...they also bought there own shoes as have the best men. We will be paying for hair ups and accessories etc though. Don't worry about asking them. Some ladies here are stuck in the old ways i think where the bride an groom pay for it all .

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

We have recently got married and we paid for everything. The way we seen it we wanted those people to be apart of our special day so why should they pay. We paid for dresses, shoes, hair & make up. We also paid for our best mans suit and page boys suit, then we also bought thank you gifts for them all too. They shouldn't have to pay for anything! So really if your wanting them to be apart of your special day then you should pay for them!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I only have 3 bridesmaids and I'm paying for their dresses and shoes. Luckily one of them is my cousin and she is a hair and make up artist so she's doing our hair and make up

Jade Goodwin
Jade Goodwin 5 Sep 2017

I think its rather rude to ask them to pay for their dresses if your the one picking them, if your just giving them a color an length then its not as bad i suppose. Personally am paying for mine an then they will be paying for jewelry and shoes. Depends on how much control you want i guess

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I spoke to mine first and explained if they agreed to be bridesmaid i would need them to contribute. Ive said i will buy their skirt but they can choose a colour. And asked they buy their own top but have the freedom for any style they like as long as its cream. Im also going to try have extra money to put towards hair and makeup on the day too. But i havent insisted they have a certain style or hairdresser or mua. I offered to book whoever they wanted to use. I also said i knew i was asking a lot and if it wouldnt be possible then to tell me and it wouldnt be a problem. They were all fine and offered to pay for everything. And said as a guest they would be paying for an outfit so it no different c

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

Hi I personally paid for my bridesmaids dresses, but that's just me. But I don't see the problem of them buying the there own, but I bought mine as apart of there thank you gifts

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

Down to you at end of day. If they pay they will maybr want a say in colour style etc. If you pay you have more say

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I can't believe people expect their bridesmaids to pay for anything

Hannah Cairns
Hannah Cairns 5 Sep 2017

I have 4 bridesmaids, I am paying for their dresses although I have set a budget but not paying for their shoes as they are all different heights/size shoes

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

It does fascinate me that some are ok with their bridesmaids paying out. If you can't afford it, don't ask them. I'm buying all 10 outfits and shoes (I'm certainly not loaded but wouldn't dream of asking them to buy their own). I have said if they want anything special re hair and make-up that's their choice but outfits absolutely my responsibility imo.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I think if the dresses are cheap then you pay for them in your budget and get them pay for like their hair makeup stuff like that or you go half but ask they ok with it don't just assume it ok people circumstances are all different

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

If you want bridesmaids you should pay for them ! If later down the line they offer fair enough but don't expect it. Don't ask them if you can't afford it

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I dont see an issue either way. If they pay for dresses you have less of a say over them but they might be happy to do so.

It's worse if you demand they pay x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I paid for them

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I'm paying for my bridesmaid dresses but I'm thinking about asking them to pay for their footwear and handbag

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I have 4 bridesmaids and my hubby to be has his best man and 2 ushers and we are paying for everything, dresses, suits, hair, makeup, jewellery and shoes plus gifts on the day. We wanted them to be a part of our wedding therefore we pay for them. You have what you can afford but personally I think it's down to you to sort them out. You wouldn't invite guests for the day and expect them to pay for their meal or everything that's keeping them entertained?? Plus it also means they wear what you want them to wear. Of course you want them to be happy and comfortable but it just eliminates arguments and unnecessary complications later on! Trust me your going to be busy enough without it. Good luck xxx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I see it if u want bridesmaids u pay!! I wouldn't never expect anyone to pay for a dress I wanted them to wear for my day baffles me

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I'm buying the dresses. Because the dresses are long I've told them to wear whatever shoes they want so they're comfortable as long as they're not like black with the pale pink dresses lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I paid for dresses but they are buying their shoes

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I had originally asked three girls to pay to be honest, I think it's shocking how some people on here think that is awful. In the end, we found the dresses extremely cheap so I paid and paid for hair, everything else was up to them. Xx

Emily Vincent
Emily Vincent 5 Sep 2017

Jesus Christ 🙄🙄

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I only have one bridesmaid. And as we are on a tight budget and not really that fussed about colour matching I'm going to suggest she wears a dress of her choice either that she already has or wants to buy. I'd rather she wore something she felt comfortable in and could use again x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

If I was going to insist on matching specific dresses I would pay, but since I don't want that, I won't! The main reason to pay is if they would never wear it again IMO

Samantha A
Samantha A 5 Sep 2017

I am paying for the dresses but asking them to get shoes and accessories

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I asked them so I paid. It doesn't have to work out expensive my bridesmaid dresses were less than £30 each. I dont think its fair to make them pay when they are there representing you x

A member uploaded image

Elizabeth McNeill-Walters
Elizabeth McNeill-Walters 5 Sep 2017

Surely is depends on the relationship you have with your bridesmaids? My two adult bridesmaids are contributing and the money I save on buying their dresses I will add towards a little thank you present for them, which I wouldn't otherwise be able to afford. If they are close enough a friend to be asked to be a bridesmaid then being honest about what you can afford and if you need help shouldn't be an issue.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

I'm in the you have asked them so you pay camp. If you can't afford to have the three then maybe ask 2.....everyone's opinion will differ but I had 2 and paid for everything x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

When me and my hubby got married, we brought and paid for our bm's dresses, and shoes. The only thing we asked is that they paid for them to be altered, which for the 2 that did it costed them less than the dress so they didn't fork out much

Emily Barnett
Emily Barnett 5 Sep 2017

It's a much debated subject on here best advice is talk to them and be upfront about any contributions you need them make and be very clear about budget two of my three bridesmaids offered to pay without me even asking. Don't give them a surprise bill for anything as this has been done to me when I was a BM given a week to find £150 towards cost even though I was told I only had to pay the deposit.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

It depends. My bridesmaids were happy to pay and they kept the dresses after

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

We got married two weeks ago and my bridesmaids paid for there dresses as I did ask them if they could. Main reasons being two were my sisters and very fussy with styles etc so I gave them a colour and let them choose there own dress and shoes. My bff I paid for her dress as she's at uni and knew she wouldn't be able to pay out for everything. My sisters did there own hair and makeup and my friend paid for hers to be done. I don't see any reason for asking for contributions to help out. As long as you give them reign to choose the dress they like that is affordable for them. All three of my bridesmaids had different dresses and it worked well. X

A member uploaded image

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

Depends on you and your friends...this always sparks a massive debate....for the record my bridesmaids expected to pay and gladly did x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

If you're telling them exactly what to wear - you pay. If you're just saying a specific colour/style of dress or it's not an expensive dress then you can ask them to contribute.

Rebecca Sullivan
Rebecca Sullivan 5 Sep 2017

I paid for my dress for my sisters wedding .. simply because she let me choose the exact style and colour so I could wear it again and again afterwards ( I was the only adult bridesmaid). For my wedding all our bridesmaids are children so we will be paying for everything.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

Sounds harsh and its just my opinion but you should pay. You chose to get married and you chose them as bridesmaids. Anyone who thinks that bridesmaids are truly happy to pay for themselves is kidding themselves.

Kim Probets
Kim Probets 5 Sep 2017

I'm paying for my bridesmaids dresses and shoes, I think it's wrong to ask someone to be a bridesmaid and ask them to pay for their dress x

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 5 Sep 2017

I'm paying for dresses and shoes and they are sorting their hair and make up x

Emma Bonnar
Emma Bonnar 5 Sep 2017

Look at Jane Norman online. I just bagged 3 perfect dresses for £108 all in. Digged out a discount code. My bridesmaids love them too. Get delivered on Thursday! x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

Your wedding you pay, I wanted the dresses so we paid for them. If you can't afford them don't have them.
Ours were £199 I wouldn't have dreamt of making them buy them, they were what I want (though they loved them)
Unless they are given free choice to wear what they want you should pay

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 5 Sep 2017

We bought our bridesmaid dresses.. we haven't a great deal of cash but got gorgeous ones from Frasers if you expect them to wear a certain dress I feel it only fair to pay for it.. I was happy for the girls to wear any shoes etc they wishes so they paid for those as they would wear again x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Sep 2017

My bridesmaids bought their own dresses as I didnt want them to match. All I asked was that it was a specific colour - and as I was making a request, I offered £50 towards the cost. I also offered jacket and accessories as their 'thank you' present, which I gave them on the day x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Sep 2017

I paid for the dresses, hair and makeup and the girls had their own shoes I wanted them to have something they liked and would wear again. Also left it to them if they wanted their nails done. I would never ask them to pay for dresses for my day. If you want them to be part of it you pay for it x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 6 Sep 2017

You ask then you pay.

Lisa Keenan
Lisa Keenan 6 Sep 2017

I paid for my dress for both my best friend and sister-in-laws weddings. Best friend paid for my hair, sister-in-law had a friend do my make-up for free, but otherwise I paid for shoes, jewellery etc. I wasn't offended in the slightest. However, I'll be paying for my bridesmaid dresses, just because our colour scheme means that the colour I want is really hard to find and can only be bought from bridal boutiques, making the dresses about £130 each. I personally don't think asking your bridesmaids to pay is as bad as people on here seem to think, however if you are going to ask them to contribute, make that clear before you ask them so they aren't hit with a surprise bill. Good luck :-)

Jessica Bateman
Jessica Bateman 7 Sep 2017

It's not unusual for them to pay for there dresses or even half, it depends on your budget

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 7 Sep 2017

It is expexted that you pay for the bridesmaid dresses. That being said, i paid for my own when i was a bridesmaid, but my friend said it would be my wedding gift to her as it helpes with the expense of their wedding. So i would say to do the same. If your girls are paying a lot of money to be part of your bridal party then tell them it is a wedding gift to you.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 8 Sep 2017

My h2b sister is paying for own as she said she will I didn't ask and I think my brothers wife may but I'm going to pay for my friend's as she has three kids so money may be a bit tight for her

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 11 Sep 2017

Gina Rose

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