UK
UKbride Member Request 23 Aug 2017

Has anyone else noticed that family or friends suddenly become very...

Has anyone else noticed that family or friends suddenly become very opinionated and emotional since they started wedding planning? I feel like I can't win sometimes, to make one person happy someone else gets annoyed or disagrees and vice Versa. I know people say it's about the bride and groom, but friends and family are just excited and I want them to be happy too. The guest list and accommodation have been particularly difficult! Thanks x

26 Comments
UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

Don't be pushed into anything you don't want. It IS about the bride and groom, friends and family should be excited regardless-they can do their own weddings how ever they want to too!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

My husband was perfect while we planned ours. Pretty much every day he said "it's our day- they don't like it? Then they don't come!"

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

The most annoying thing I have found is the older generation telling me that 'everything was so much simpler when they got married' and 'there wasn't all this fuss' and the most frustrating - 'what are you going to talk about when the wedding is over' when we're telling them about plans we've made. Drives me to distraction!!! Like we hadn't known each other for 14 years before we got engaged, clearly we sat in silence before
It's very difficult to shut out from things getting to you, but do just remember, you two are footing the bill! Therefore decisions are yours and yours alone to be made! x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

Completely understand this. I went in with the mindset of 'its all about what we want' but we're learning that it really doesn't work that way and that there's a lot of people with an interest in how our day goes. Our family mean a lot to both of us so we don't want to deliberately upset anyone and we don't have the heart to say 'don't like it, don't come'. Instead we have sat down with both of our families and said to them that they need to appreciate we can't make everyone happy but that we are doing our best to create the best outcome we can and they need to trust us. It won't be the day either of our families had planned for either of us but it will be a day that we are happy with and thats important to us

Harriett Holly
Harriett Holly 23 Aug 2017

It's your day. Do what you want. The only thing you should be mindful of is the food (veggie/vegan, allergies etc)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

Yes, I find families seem to be a nightmare, we had a few bad moments but a lot of posts on here always show families and friends being opinionated and expecting their wants to be met. It's your day, not theirs and if there is one day in your life you can do things EXACTLY how you want them then it's your wedding day ️

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

Yes!!! This is my problem, 8 months down the line and the guest list still isn't confirmed we feel like we are being pushed and pulled in every direction with people forgetting it is about us getting married not other family issues that have been there for years previously!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

I've not really had any problems apart from my dad. I've just ignored them and got on with it.

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

I was worried about people not liking what we had done as we had some opinionated people, but my husband was great and kept saying it's our day if they don't like it they don't have to come x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

I like tbe way my future D1n L and son keep.. Us in tbe loop.as to.what they are planning. I give them.ideas and ask questions but i.never pass a negative opinion on their ideas at all. I have liked them all.
We have offered financial help.for cake and cars. Which have been accepted but because we are paying doesn't give us the right to have a say. Although i hope to go with them for cake tasting lol.
We wouldn't even expect or ask for any of our friends or relatives we never see to be invited.
Why would they be?
One year to go. I have my dress shoes and hat already. Make up and hair booked .
We are so excited for them both.
But its THEIR day and we.respect THEIR wishes and plan

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

nope nope nope its ur day the only thing to be mindul of is kids and dietry requirements end of x

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

Welcome to wedding planning lol

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

You can't please everyone so you may as well please yourself. Don't plan your wedding for other people

Alys Brierley
Alys Brierley 23 Aug 2017

I could have written this right now . I've had enough with family involvement

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

I've had this problem! As others have said just try to remember it is your day and do what you want. I've tried to keep everyone happy and made myself unhappy in the process so am now dealing with things differently as I want to enjoy our wedding planning x

Emma Raisborough
Emma Raisborough 23 Aug 2017

When you get your head around the fact that you will never be able to please everyone therefore you may as well do what you want to do, it makes your life a lot easier! I used to be a wedding coordinator and I learnt this lesson long before I was even engaged, and so far nothing has really worried me. Of course I am trying my best to make sure my guests will be happy - but ultimately my our decision goes!

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

I get married in 3 weeks on saturday. And i started the planning with "they aint paying for it so their opinion doesnt matter" in mind. Ive taken on some things that have been suggested but everything has been what we want.. no one else xd

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

Its your day. Do it your way. Have it your way. Have things how you want them.
Ignore everyone else.
Have only those there you want to be tbere

Emma Gibson
Emma Gibson 23 Aug 2017

I'm really grateful I've not experienced this yet but we do have ages to go. However as far I'm concerned it's our day and we will do what we want x

Amy Pritchard
Amy Pritchard 23 Aug 2017

I've had the same since day one mostly from family members who are not married themselves, both me and my partner have told them its our wedding day let us do our thing and when they get married we will be just as considerate as for family who already married they already done things their way so leave us have our turn

Lucy Lewis
Lucy Lewis 23 Aug 2017

Hi do what you want you can't please everyone it is impossible just please yourselves it is your day after all :)

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 23 Aug 2017

Well don't try n make everyone else happy sweetheart only 2 people matter and that's you n your h2b!!! Tell if they don't like it they don't come or they lump it their choice!!

ADEL BALMFORTH
ADEL BALMFORTH 24 Aug 2017

Do what makes you happy not anyone else (ok maybe h2b lol)
It's your day.
I really don't understand people like this at all. I would never put my opinion over to any bride it is her day if she want to do something I wasn't happy with it's up to her.
I am really lucky I have not had any problems from my friends or family. Xx

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 24 Aug 2017

It's your wedding and it's about you and your partner celebrating your love for eachother so no one else should have a say in it unless they are the ones paying

UKbride Administrator
UKbride Administrator 25 Aug 2017

I always told a Bride & Groom, it's your day. Listen to yourselves plus parents if they're paying or contributing. But your day think things over before you make a decision. You can always mix things up to combine ideas. Please have fun, try not to let things get to you. Good Luck.

Jessica Bateman
Jessica Bateman 31 Aug 2017

Yes! Omg. I just go yes ok and let it go over my head. They need to remember it's your day not there's

Comment

Before we add your comment, please: log in to an existing UKbride account or join UKbride
Why Join?