Wedding Forum - Everyone or the select few?...

We have a slight dilemma, it's a little lengthy so please bare with me!

We are having a civil marriage in my hometown first (short and for the legalities) which will be followed by a blessing at our local cathedral (making this the main bit as it's more important).

We originally thought that we'd invite just bridal party, parents and grandparents as we are making the blessing the significant bit but I'm kind of having second thoughts on that because I would quite like people to see the legal bit as obviously that's when would actually be 'married'. I would feel like they are missing out a bit but then my OH argues 'well that's what they do in a lot of European countries'. Our venue does have the capacity so we could have everyone just about but my OH isn't quite as keen as she thinks that because of the travelling backwards and forwards between venues, they would get annoyed or find it too far.

Another thing is that, several people who live in my hometown obviously live there and are within walking distance to our venue so they could come and attend with ease but they are friends rather than family so although we'd love them there naturally, we wouldn't want to put anyone of our family's noses out of joint if they knew friends were there out of preference over family as it were! One of the friends today offered up her spare room and car share completely free for anyone that needs it which was so lovely which means it certainly wouldn't feel right her offering that and saying 'oh sorry, because you aren't family, you can't come to the civil ceremony'... Apart from anything else, we'd like her there anyway!

I'd like to invite everyone to the civil ceremony but my OH has said why don't we leave it open ended and say 'those that wish to can attend the civil ceremony first, but this is not obligatory and we will see you at the blessing!'

Could I have some thoughts on this please? Thanks :) xx

Yes it has, thank you :) I guess I'd like everyone there but by having it as optional then at least they have the choice! I'm in two minds - I do want them but don't at the same time.. Wedding politics!! xx

Awwww, that's so lovely and romantic this close to Christmas too! My opinion is that whether it's straight, lesbian, gay whatever I still look at the couple and think how wonderful it is to be that in love that you want to get married :) Apparently we may be the first marriage in our town too (I think there's been other CP's previously) which is so exciting! I think we may have to get the printer out and make a wee card to put in saying we are having a legal ceremony beforehand but down to you whether you attend so just let us know.... If they don't like it, they don't have to come really!! x

Hahaha, sounds like a great place! Majority of our friends are straight but we have our best friend/best man who is definitely NOT straight ;) I'm probably a traitor but I've never been to gay night or gay clubs but then I don't really define myself as gay so that's probably why lol.

I think you are right - we'll spread the word that it's optional then they are under no pressure to go :) x

Yeah that's a very good point! Of course! X