So this has been bugging me for a while but only just plucked up the courage to speak about it and I'm finding it hard to explain without sounding selfish or stupid....
The last time any of my family set foot in the church I am getting married in (Our dream wedding venue) was the day of my baby sisters funeral, for this reason I have said I do not want black suits or dresses at the wedding. Obviously I do not expect our guests to go out and buy another suit just for our wedding so am allowing black trousers with a shirt and tie (not black), just not a full black suit with jacket (if that makes sense).
The last thing I want is for my family, especially my mum, to turn around and see a sea of people wearing black and it feel like that it's that day all over again. Plus if I honest I don't want to be walking down and seeing black either. I know a wedding is a totally different thing but I just can't get the image of her coffin and the black suits out my head and that's the last thing I want to be thinking about (the funeral) when I go to say 'I do'.
Barely any of my H2B's family know about my sister.
How do I word it in the invitations regarding the dress code so they take note and don't just think it's us being picky?
(I've known people have a dress code and guests turn up in exactly what the bride/groom didn't want!)
CommentAuthorWizbit89
I would keep it upbeat. maybe something along the lines of..
this is a very special day to us, full of love and laughter and for this reason we would love everyone to dress with a bright tie or accessory to help us celebrate?
not sure how you can get around the black jacket thing as generally a suit will always come with a matching jacket but maybe have some cheap fabric squares on hand for everyone to put in breast pockets? xx
CommentAuthorLaurenD45
I think Wiz has the right idea, some people may want black as they may feel self concious about their body or not have anything else to wear. Aslong as you mention on your invite that you want people to be colourful as its a joyous occasion people should get the message. Ask the H2B parents to mention the situation if people ring her and ask...most will. Any questions weve had about the wedding have come from relatives via the parents...
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Firstly, sorry to hear about your sister. You must be very strong to return to the same church for your big day.
It is a wedding and the majority of people know black is a no no at weddings along with white and ivory so as not to upstage the bride. There may be the odd person who feels more comfortable in black because they're body conscious but a little note popped in with additional information to say that to help you celebrate this joyful occasion you would love it if all guests could wear a bright coloured top or dress.
x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
So sorry to hear about your sister, as IDL has said you are very brave getting married in the same church- I woukd expect most people to wear bright colours but as the others have said a little note of reminder should do the trick
Really hope your day is filled with laughter and love and that the church becomes a very happy and special memory for you both :-) xx
It took a lot to book the same church. H2B was worried it would upset my mum but it was her convincing me to book our dream venue and said it would be like my sister was there looking down on us all and being apart of the big day.
As soon as we had her blessing to book the church we did it. I promised her the groomsmen and groom would not be in black and we would ask the guests to avoid black as well.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I find grey for groomsmen is nicer for weddings anyway, ours were in grey.
I think it'll be a beautiful way of having your sister there on the day x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorTiffany
Thank you IDL. x
CommentAuthorStaceyH989
So sorry to hear about your sister, how wonderful to have it in the same church.
A special day we have to share, with all of those for who we care, but we have one small thing to say, to make sure our day is not grey. We would like to see lots of colour, so black is not the answer. Please bare this is mind when you pick your outfit, as our family is so close-knit.
Just an idea, hope this helps :)
CommentAuthorVelcro
i dont think men tend to wear black to weddings anymore, it's not really 'on trend' I was a bridesmaid for my friend and someone turned up in a black suit and looked like he had just been to either court or a funeral, he stuck out like a sore thumb. It just didn't look right, Tbh, I can't say I ever see very many people at all wearing black at weddings. You might get the odd one or two, but I wouldn't worry about there being a 'sea of black' I understand why this would worry you though, and I can't imagine what it must be like for you losing a sibling, but I'm sure the vast majority of people will not have a hint of black in sight
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorTiffany
Thanks everyone :)
My H2B's cousin, who has been helping with the wedding planning, has had a lot of their family asking about the wedding so she has explained about the dress code without going into detail.
