FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - So many demand off the guests and bridal...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • NicolaD854
      CommentAuthorNicolaD854
     
    what a beautiful bliss we were in, got engaged, found a venue set the date (29/9/2017) .....and then it started...

    you MUST invite so and so......

    don't sit me with them.....yep already!!!

    I'm not wearing 'THAT or colour x or style Y'......

    why won't you share every detail of your wedding.....

    why didn't you ask X to be your maid

    arrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .............this is the unfun part that I need to try and block out......

    as you we're ladies just felt the need to share am sure this is common but wished I knew how bad it was ha ha
  2.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    you sound you have alot more interferes than usual!!! how annoying, its not their wedding!

    I find it so rude when other people say you have to invite so and so, when you hardly know them. we have had this too, but it makes me want to invite the other person even less as its not our choice and i dont want the asker to get their own way!

    You will do the table plan as best you can, obviously taking into consideration peoples situations, so why do people feel the need to get involved.

    You just need to try and block them out or else it will ruin your planning xxx

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Just tell them all to shut it, it's your wedding, you'll do what you like, sit people where you want, have who you want and that is that.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    At the end of the day, if they don't like it they don't have to go.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  5.  
    • StaceyH989
      CommentAuthorStaceyH989
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with the ladies it is your wedding and don't just tell them that remind yourself as well. It is weird how so people act when there is a wedding and sometimes they are just trying to be helpful but may not realise how they are coming across.

    If people aren't happy with your decisions then tough they should be happy for you not trying to change your mind or get their way it doesn't work like that.

    I have a few rifts in my family so know where you are coming from with the 'don't sit me by them' and after being reminded for the 10th time I just turned around and said 'of course I'm going to sit you next to them and to make it even better I'll sit you both in front of me so I can enjoy your discomfort even more because that's just the type of person I am" as you can imagine they were a bit shocked but it made them realise they didn't have to keep reminding me.

    It gets easier to block out with time, its like the initial excitement but just annoying instead of being fun it will pass soon enough.
  6.  
    • LeanneF96
      CommentAuthorLeanneF96
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Ive had this too! So annoying! I say do what you want if they dont like it tell them to do one :-) x




  7.  
    • CommentAuthorNicolaB7220
      BadgeBadge
     
    You will get annoyed by everyone for about the first 6 months of your planning, then you will get used to it and be able to just tell people where to go. Honestly, I got so upset by every comment in the first few months, my mum at one point said 'I'm getting sick of all this already' after my grandma had made a 'I don't want to sit with so and so' comment and that made me cry but after that I got hard to it and just told people it was our day, if they didn't like something then don't come to the wedding - simple!

    Just ride it out and explain its your day and you will do whatever suits, they will soon learn :)
  8.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We were really lucky as we didn't really have too much of this... I feel really sorry for those that do!! I would put your foot down from the start and say it's your way or the high way.... if you start giving in to people and making "exceptions" then people will start to expect it from you. Your wedding, your way!

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  9.  
    • CattyS55
      CommentAuthorCattyS55
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I know exactly how you feel, my aunt and uncle fell out about 2 years ago and have both asked not to be sat next to each other but before that my uncle said he would not attend the wedding if my aunt was invited. I told my uncle very bluntly that it is my wedding and not about him and if he doesn't attend then he should not expect to be in my life anymore. He agreed he was wrong. I have also had other family members tell me about their good friends should be invited as they are "family", to which I have informed them that they may be perceived as their family but they are not my family or my friends so they wont be invited. One of my bridesmaid's has been really negative about everything, even when I sent my invites out she moaned about how I did not put a stamp on the RSVP card and then after that she didn't even send the RSVP card back but sent me a text to confirm her attendance. She has been negative about a lot of things regarding my wedding and at first I was really hurt and upset by it and then decided if she continued to carry on this way I would reflect her behaviour and raise it with her, which I have done so and she still continues with her comments but I ignore her.

    I think you have to shut people down with their negativity and comments, remind them that it is not about them and whilst you appreciate advice and help, it needs to be constructive and not negative or upsetting.
  10.  
    • NicolaD854
      CommentAuthorNicolaD854
     
    Thanks Girls.

    I know you are all right, at the moment because we have only just started organising this for next year I'm feeling super sensitive at all these comments but I am never going to please them all.....spoke with a friend today who made me realise this...im such a strong outspoken person usually so its time I took my 'airy fairy wedding head' off and let them know I'm not here to stroke their every demand :) xx
  11.  
    • CommentAuthorMariaP483
      BadgeBadge
     
    Keep strong and keep remembering that this will be an amazing day, you'll be marrying the man you love :-)
    Im sure I have that all coming to me as well, especially as this is my second wedding. Iv had an insensitive comment from my mum when we were talking about it..."Shall I wear the same dress I wore to your last wedding?" You can imagine how upset I was, but thats parents for you.
    Your wedding...your rules!!
  12.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    For some reason weddings can bring out the worst in people

    I am very lucky as even though my dad and PHs dad are paying a big chunk they have not really stuck oars in!

    My dad only said should X not be invited to the day as you went to their wedding- no not seen them since, we are tight on numbers and want our friends there over distant family we never see - he was like there's a good point- as you were and not said anything since

    I did a similar thing with sister who just after our engagement kept sending me links I was like or me or you?

    Weddings are really overwhelming and yiu need to do things and look at things in your own time otherwise stress levels just build and it detracts from how special it is to plan xx

    Members signature icon



  13.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I can totally sympathise, I can't wait to marry my OH and have our day but to also be done with people who have too many opinions lol xx

    Members signature icon
    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  14.  
    • EmmaM1435
      CommentAuthorEmmaM1435
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think you just have to do what is right for you. When we took our mums to see the venue this weekend, my mum kept making comments about her boyfriend being there, and I just had to say to her "I'm sorry but he's not invited to the day (he is invited to the evening), we can't afford the £80. You're not going to have time to be with him on the day since you'll be getting ready with me, you'll be on the top table with us for the wedding breakfast, so he'd be sat on his own. Once we explained, she was fine about it.

    I know not everyone will be as accepting as my mum, even my MIL is not happy that her nephews (OH's cousins) are not invited to the wedding (again, they are to the evening) but we're remaining strong on, even once she said she would pay, we still said no, because who's going to pay for my cousins to come?

    It's your day, as long as you & your OH are on the same page, then stick with what you both want
  15.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      BadgeBadge
     
    I have had that! From very small things to things which are quite serious.

    My mother is insistent that I invite my (only) sister to our wedding as it is unfair on her for me to have left her out. Long story short, my sister has always been a trouble maker, always been in trouble and has fallen out with the family many times. On the most recent occasion which I won't forgive her for, she fell out with my mam called her all the names under the sun etc. etc. and then for no reason at all turned on me. Now at the time I had been taken into hospital seriously ill with my liver and nobody knew what was happening, all we knew was that it was bad. Now my sister knew about this but never once came to see me or asked if I was ok and then messaged me one day saying how much of a bad person I was for sticking by my mam etc. and that she never wanted to see me ever again. We weren't allowed to see my nephew or nieces (one newly born) and she moved away down south where she still lives. My H2B was with me at the time this happened so knows fine well why I don't want her at my wedding. But I can't get this through to my mam who, since my sister has gotten back in touch with us, has had her head up my sister backside!

    Then there has been issues with bridesmaids dresses. One bridesmaid put off paying for her dress (after all bridesmaids told me they would buy their own and I shouldn't expect to have to pay for their dresses etc.) as she couldn't afford it. The dress she saw was £130 I think. Now this is where the best part comes. She then tells me she is wanting to book her wedding and asks me to be bridesmaid. I am thrilled with this and obviously accept and offer her any advice I can. She then goes out and buys her wedding dress without booking her wedding and continues to tell me she can't afford her bridesmaid dress for my wedding which in (at the time) 6 and a half months. She books her wedding after buying her dress for late 2018 and I am left stumped as to why she couldn't get her bridesmaid dress for me during that time, bearing in mind she was talking to me during this time about going out and trying dresses on for her. Thankfully now it is all sorted and she has ordered her dress for me, but this situation bugged me a little. If her wedding had been booked for late 2017 then I would have sympathised with her, but never mind, I have 5 months to wait and this will all be over :)

    Then there has been people saying "I don't want to sit next to her, I don't want to sit next to him". The worst is though, we are paying for a £12k wedding by ourselves with very little input from anyone. But we have had SO many complaints on the menu. Myself and my H2B picked the menu ourselves based on foods we both like (I also have stomach issues so want to avoid certain foods which I am aware WILL cause me to be in immense pain and spending the remaining night in the bathroom). So basically loads have people have complained about the meat option and have said that they will "just have to have the vegetarian option", which considering it is soup followed with risotto, isn't a bad option. They say that they should be able to pick their own but at £3 extra per person per different meal choice per course this would soon wrack up in cost. Considering each adult meal is £59 anyway and each child meal is £19, and considering we are having very little help with costs, I think it is highly unreasonable of anyone to tell us they don't like the food that we are providing for them.

    Then of course there is the usual family tiffs. But I won't get into that!

    The main thing I do is just try and ignore it and just think that in however much time the wedding will be here and I wont give a crap about what happens as I will be marrying the man I love and it will be over before we both know it. I also think of all the details about the day and how it is everything we ever wanted out of the day and it brings a smile to my face and calms me down.
    Keep your chin up and enjoy planning :)!!
  16.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It would seem 99% of brides experience this, not that it's right.

    It's yours and H2Bs day so you need to do what you want.

    I had my preferred time of year for a date vetoed by pretty much everyone close to me.

    I was told I had to invite certain people, people I actually really can't stand the sight of so seeing them on my wedding day was certainly the last thing I wanted, including my sister's MIL and FIL and a cousin who all I can say has openly and blatantly been a complete total and utter 81tch to me and my sister.

    The car I wanted was also vetoed.

    One friend firstly insisted she had a plus one on the day despite her knowing 4 other guests and then had the cheek on my hen to dictate she was bringing one of her friends who wasn't on my guest list.

    Ideally I'd have loved to go away for a spa weekend for my hen but I knew that barely anyone would come so to include everyone I changed it.

    There were arguments over an open bar..............I didn't want one. Also laying on transport for guests!

    I could go on but this post would end up being a full book.

    So, basically people won't stop giving opinions or making demands but you will have to try and block it out and carry on planning the day you want x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  17.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Been there done that like so many other brides. Seems like weddings become everyone elses as well lol. Ours was a bit of an extreme case, to the point we have been married over two years now and I've not spoken to any of my inlaws since then!

    Weddings really can bring out the worst in people

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  18.  
    • Wizbit89
      CommentAuthorWizbit89
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Stay strong and remember you wedding isn't to make them happy etc its your day to marry someone you want o spend the rest of your life with xx

    I am really lucky, my family is very broken and their is a lot of bad feeling between sides due to divorces etc, but none of them have made a comment about anything, its possibly because I am fairly headstrong and they know I will push against them.. Or they are just being respectful.

    I do honestly feel for those of you that aren't getting that support. I hope you all have lovely days and it doesn't get you down too much x
 

UKbride's £25,000 Wedding Competition Prize Partners

Enter Now