right a few month ago my moh whoo was best friend at school got in a relationship and basically he controlled her he lied and stole from her so when she was with him i didnt see or hear from her she basically put him befor our friendship but when he stole from her i was there to help i got her food in and yesterday when she was at mine she got a message off him on fb so she rang she agreed to meet him but when she come off phone she said im not going to meet him then last night she went awol for a few hrs one of her daughters took ill and 3 of her daughters got intouch with me to see if she was with me i asked her this morning where she was when they were ringing me looking for he she says she went shop n got yapping but wen i was on a bus with another mate she walked passed withe the one who stole from her and she was holding his hand i asked her if she heard from him anymore she said y it was irrelivent im now in 2 minds wether to have her as moh or get some one else as i dont like him and no matter what happens im there for her but shes not there for me
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
I can understand that you must be feeling hurt that she has put her relationship before your friendship. I think honesty is the best policy and you should sit her down and explain how you are feeling and how you feel your friendship is one-sided and see what she has to say. She may not even realise that she is behaving this way towards you. Some people can get very wrapped up in a relationship and everything and everyone gets pushed to one side. However, is she really a friend if she is lying to you? On the other hand, she may be lying because she knows how you will react. It sounds like you both need to sit down, talk and each air how you feel. From that, I'd make a decision on whether you wanted her as your moh. Good luck.
First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
CommentAuthorAmbery21
im not upset that she put him befor me im angry that after he stole he lied he cheated on her i had to pick up the pieces and she is now apperntly with some one else and then i see her with the one who broke her heart stole from hher a friend can only do so much she knows how i feel but i cant stand there a let it happen again and im there every time she needs me but shes never there when i need her
CommentAuthorTiffany
edited
I've been in your moh position myself, but he was beating me as well. It's easy for others to get mad and feel the way you do but trust me it is not easy at all to get out of that sort of relationship. They know what to do and say to get you to come back. It took him killing our unborn child for me to walk away for good. I had lost all my friends bar one because of him and as much as it killed her seeing how I was being treated (how I was allowing him to treat me to outsiders) she was there at the very end to help me get back up and we have both never been closer. Even tho I missed her wedding and the birth of my god daughter. We have been through everything together. As hard as it is and as annoyed as your feeling, she will eventual leave. It won't be that she does not want to be there for you it will be him controlling her and trying to push all her friends and family away til she has no one left. Saying that I have been in your position as well. As much as it made my angry and wanted to just give up on them, I am so glad I did not. I can't imagine getting married without them there. We have been through so much and it was not worth throwing it all away over some total pr*ck.
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
One of my MOHs was also in an abusive relationship. He had two children whose mother had died of cancer, and she is a single mother whose husband died of cancer. He used that shared pain, and her instinct to be a mother to these two young children, to pull her in. She tried to leave twice and went back. It was only when her daughter saw her being beaten that she called the police. Even once he was convicted it wasn't over, the children wanted to stay with her so there was a custody battle, her 16 year old daughter made allegations of awful abuse that she had to talk about in court, then they had to sell the house and he blocked every sale and accused her of being the one to block it. He was sending friends to look so she had to get the house spotless, then it came to nothing. He also contributed nothing to the mortgage, emptied the joint account to the overdraft limit, and then insisted she use part of her share of the sale to clear the debt before he would sign off on the sale. Many times she said she would go back to him, as she felt she'd rather deal with living with him than the bullying that he was doing in order to punish her. That's all a bit long-winded, but I'm trying to say, as someone else has, that these people make it hard to leave. The guy was always sweet and apologetic after beating her, and she thought she could change him. She also felt it was safer with him and doing his bidding than being away and waiting for what would happen next. She didn't see her friends for months at a time as she wasn't allowed to, but when she did leave she needed them. Eventually your MOH will see the need to leave him, and when she does she will need you, and you will eventually get her back, but it will take a while.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
thanks tiffany but she was split with him for 6 weeks and as soon a she come bk on scene im forgot about again i my self have al so been in a abusive relationship i undertand her situation i said i be civial for her sake but he wont talk to me so shes going totake his side again and i dont nedd the stress
