Hi all!! My moh is planning a suprise hen do for me, I have no idea on date location entertainment etc I just gave her a list of people who I wanted to be there and left her too it. I'm fine with this (as long as she's listened to me when I've said not abroad) as it should be exciting!! However I went to is it my SIL to be yesterday and she told me she's not comfortable with what's being planned as it's a weekend away and she won't know anyone there. My initial response to this was to tell her it's fine if she doesn't want to go as we can have a night out in town at some point instead. However after thinking for a while I kind of want to tell her to sucks it up, she'll be fine once she's made the effort to get to know people. I know this is unreasonable tho. I need to talk to my moh to see if she can sort this but I don't want to make her think I don't appreciate the effort she's making or that I don't trust her to plan this for me because I do. In my position how would you go about sorting this? Tia xx
31/12/2017 A New Year, A New Life, A New Husband and Wife
CommentAuthorCamilaL
I would talk to your SIL. If it was something that offended her or something like that, but it's just cause she thinks she won't be comfortable for not knowing anyone. Talk to her, show her that it will be fun, or even try to introduce her to your friends before hand. It's quite an important thing for her to miss.
CommentAuthorStephanieM158
Oh just let it be. Enjoy a night with your girls. If you force somebody out you'll spend the whole time worrying that theyre not enjoying themselves etc and it defeats the object of it being your night.
Met 2004
Engaged 2014
Getting Married 2016
CommentAuthorFlossie
edited
I think your SIL should suck it up for your sake, but if she doesn't want to come then t the plans shouldn't be changed just to suit her. It's her loss if she decides she doesn't want to come xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
I would leave her to it. Like Stephanie said, you'll be worrying she's not enjoying herself. If your do is not for a few months, she might change her mind.
Another suggestion is to maybe introduce her to a few of your friends beforehand. My in laws invited me to there's for dinner about a month before my ohs grandads 80th birthday party, as they were worried I'd feel left out as I wouldn't know anyone. I'm alright meeting new people anyway (in fact i love it!) but it was nice of them to think of me!
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
I too believe your SIL should suck it up and come, she will get to know people!! But if she wont dont stress about it, its her choice and you dont need any extra drama
There are lots of games to play for people to get to know each other, like ice breakers x
Met In Lanzarote April 2013
Engaged In Rome February 2016
Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I would encourage her but don't put too much pressure on. Some people can't cope with lots of people they don't know. I went to the hen dos for both of my brothers' wives, being a bridesmaid I felt I had to. The first one I loved but the second really wasn't my thing.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorAmyC737
edited
I'm having the same sort of thing however my SIL hasn't told me directly as we are not that close. She made a comment to my other SIL of not being involved in the wedding (guessing not being a bridesmaid) so why should she go to the hen party?? OH just told me to do whatever I want and not worry about her. The celebrations are about us and she can either join them or exclude herself. It's really frustrating!!!
CommentAuthorMrs D2B
I've decided not to talk to my moh from what sil was saying everything is booked anyway, I'm going to leave it to sil to do what she wants. My h2b won't get involved but her partner is pretty sound and will hopefully talk her around, and if not it's her loss :(
31/12/2017 A New Year, A New Life, A New Husband and Wife
