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Wedding Forum - Walking down the aisle!!...

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  1.  
    • RobynW61
      CommentAuthorRobynW61
      edited
     
    Hi, I know someone has posted something similar but I want to ask specific to me.

    I'm planning to get married next year. I have my dad, who I don't see often unless there is an occasion like a birthday or Christmas, and I have my stepfather, who has been part of my life for 17 years. I had decided on having neither walk me down the isle, because I didn't want to upset either of them, and my stepfather is fine with this. However I went and told my dad today and he told me that he was disappointed and upset because he would like to do it, so now I feel horrible!

    I've contemplated having my dad walk me into church and my dad meet me at the back of the church but I still think this will upset my step dad, which I don't want! Or have both of them do it, one on either side, but I don't know if the isle will be wide enough and I don't think my dad would be happy with this.

    What would you do?
  2.  
    • AnikaM60
      CommentAuthorAnikaM60
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would think about myself on this one. If you dont see your dad often then i dont see why he should walk you down tha aisle unless you want him to. Its so easy to have you wedding day completely taken over by other peoples opinions and emotions, and to keep making decisions based on what everyone else wants. I think you need to really think about what you want even if that does mean disappointing your dad. I hope you come to the decision thats right for you xx
  3.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Your dad obviously cares enough to get upset if he doesn't walk yiu down the aisle, however if your step dad has been more of a dad, I woukd compromise and see if yiu can have both walk yiu down, unless they don't get on!

    Members signature icon



  4.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    They could walk behind you if you were worried about room.

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  5.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    What do you want? You obviously feel strongly enough about it to have made the decision in the first place. Remember this is your wedding day and so you need to do what feel right and natural for you.

    I had my dad walk me down the aisle and my sister had the same but we're an extremely close family and our dad is like superdad to us.

    On the flip side my SIL can't stand hers and hubby's dad, he apparently just wasn't there for them growing up and basically was not a good dad. She got my hubby to walk her down the aisle, sat at the top table and did what should have been the FOB speech. My FIL was relegated to being just like any other regular guest, if you didn't know he was their dad you'd have just thought he was another guest, no one special.

    You need to do what you're going to feel most comfortable with on what will hopefully be one of the biggest, most special and important days of your life xxx

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  6.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I would do what makes you feel comfortable.

    Your dad wouldn't be overjoyed to be not walking you down the aisle but he was probably just letting you know his feelings rather than trying to guilt trip you. He should let you do what you want to do and what makes you happy. He should respect your decision xx

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  7.  
    • CommentAuthorNicolaB7220
      BadgeBadge
     
    So what's right for you and don't worry about the feelings of other people. It seems harsh but this is going to be the biggest and best day of your life and you need to look back and be happy with your choices. Good luck xx
  8.  
    • DanielleG93
      CommentAuthorDanielleG93
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i would do what you want, it's your wedding day. I can't give much advice as my dad passed away so i can't really put myself in your shoes, if that makes sense. good luck making a decision x

    Members signature icon
    Mrs Barlow to-be
    2nd September 2017

  9.  
    • StaceyH989
      CommentAuthorStaceyH989
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi Robyn,

    I am in the same situation as yourself but for me it was a clear decision for me its my step-dad all the way, I know it might sound harsh but to me my biological dad has not earned the right to he will still be there on the day but it will be my step-dad in the main role.

    You really need to do what is best for you and what you want. I think your dad has reacted the same way any dad would be he needs to understand that you have tried to compromise and he should do the same and be happy that he will still be able to share this very special and wonderful day with you.

    I have yet to tell my biological father but I think he knows, we have only just started speaking again after 6 years.

    I honestly think you should stick with your original plan as you dont want to hurt either of them.
  10.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I don't really hear from my Dad. We haven't fallen out as such, but I didn't have him at our wedding as he makes such little effort with me. My Mum's husband is ok, but never seen him as a Dad. I chose my brother to walk me down the aisle.
  11.  
    • RobynW61
      CommentAuthorRobynW61
     
    Thank you all. Im sticking with it for now and will see how I feel closer to the time. Xx
  12.  
    • KimberleyR93
      CommentAuthorKimberleyR93
     
    I think your dad is your dad at the end of the day. But if your step dad has brought you up then he might feel disheartened. This being said it's your day and you should do what you want instead of worrying about upsetting people. Having them both would be a good idea. If your dad isn't happy with this then we'll just have your step dad. You don't need the stress or worry. It's very common nowadays to have dad n step dad on either side. Just talk to your dad and maybe remind him your step dad has been there for you. Good luck!!!

    Members signature icon
    We met.
    We fell in love.
    25/11/2017 we become man and wife <3
  13.  
    • ErinP42
      CommentAuthorErinP42
      BadgeBadge
     
    A friend of mine is in the same boat - her idea get her mum to do it it's who she is closest to in the family. So forget what people say should be done and go with what makes you happy. It's your day do it your way regardless of what anyone else says
  14.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    definitely do what you are happy with, you have to think you walking down the aisle is a main picture, and if you would like them either side of you then that's what you should have!

    im walking down the aisle by myself as im in a difficult situation too so just doing it myself to save on any stress/upset!

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  15.  
    • Shellbell
      CommentAuthorShellbell
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My initial thought was get the 2 of them to do it. But ultimately it really is down to you and what you want to do, You cant please everyone hun xx

    Met 2004 lost contact after a few years
    Met again 2013
    Engaged July 6th 2016
    Married July 14th 2018
 

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