Wedding Forum - Uninterested Husband to Be. Am I alone?...

Hello Ladies, I was wondering if any other brides are having the same experience with their fiancé as me when it comes to planning the day? We aren't getting married until November 2017 and I am fed up of hearing "I'm not even thinking about that now when it's over a year away!" :( We agreed on a theme and colour scheme together and I have since booked all the important things like photographer, DJ and so on but I really feel like I'm doing everything on my own. He's organising the music for the day and says he's happy for me to do the rest which is fine by me although I'd like to hear some approval of my choices. Each time I ask his opinion on something whether it be entertainment or decor it's met with a blank expression or "Whatever makes you happy." Because of this I've thought stuff him and gone ahead with purchases. Don't get me wrong he has come up with a few of great ideas and sometimes out of the blue he'll mention something that gives me hope he is actually interested but for the most part it's hard work. Every now and again I have a panic that nothing will look right on the day and it will all be down to me because I haven't had any input or help with my choices. I know guys don't get as excited about weddings as we do but I just would like some more enthusiasm on his part. I have mentioned this to him. Am I alone in feeling like this?

Definitely not alone- it's like talking to a brick wall! We're getting married August 2017 and OH is also of the mindset that it's miles away. He does understand that things need putting in place sooner rather than later but he just doesn't seem capable of thinking that far ahead. In the end I have done most of the planning just because it's easier, but I have left certain aspects as his responsibility (suits, music, paying deposits) so that he will at least have some input to the day. Though I must admit he did help wth the photographer interviews so that was a plus :)

I feel the same way! H2B has already said its my day, I wanted it bla bla bla, and that whatever I say goes. But it would be nice for the input to feel like you are doing things right. Yeah fair enough men don't know a thing about weddings and things like this, and we are better organisers, but sometimes it can drive you a little crazy. I feel like I'm so alone in planning it all I am so worried in case I miss something important! :/

Glitterfairy omg mine is exactly like that too! 2 mins into a discussion and he switches off. When a parcel arrives he huffs when I show him the contents because he didn't have a say in it despite the fact that weeks prior I would have asked him what his thoughts were on say a Wishing Tree and he would have said "whatever".
Thank you ladies. It really helps to know other brides are going it alone too. Men! :) xx

Fingers crossed for you Shellbell! OH just said that he wants it to be perfect for me and as long as I have what I want and I'm happy with it then its all good :) x

This makes me laugh and a little sad at the same time. Our wedding day is nothing like I wanted it because of OH.
I wanted the church ceremony and then a civilised meal with family afterwards in a nice restaurant. But he wanted the big white wedding day that little girls dream of so we are having a receiving line, wedding breakfast, speeches and evening reception.

He shot down all my venue choices because they were not modern enough and every table centrepiece I have suggested he shoots down quicker than I say it! Problem is he doesn't have ideas of his own. He just wants it very modern and elegant which I am struggling with because I am more old fashioned and vintagey. He also leaves most of the planning to me. I will get a short list of suppliers and he will then help me whittle it down to the final one.

I'm having my way with the church. Its my family church and I am picking the music. Only because I am practising and he isn't and he hasn't got a clue when it comes to hymns but that's still my bit and I'm clinging onto it!

Thats sad to read Emily.
Have you sat down together and run through ideas?? Ask him what he would like.
My partner wanted the big wedding thing i wanted a beqch wedding and a few family members. Thats his input on the whole day. Hes never shot my ideas down though... Hope ur ok xxxx

My oh isn't very hands on but tbh, currently there's nothing much to do.

I think i'm one of the lucky ones. OH has had loads of input, and although I must do his head in some times he has helped me with everything so far, from choosing the room décor, to the cake tasting and also helping to choose the style of cake. However, most of the final choices were mine (as its my first time and his 3rd) He also chose the venue, but to be honest it was my favourite too. We have discussed everything. (including what type of dress I will be wearing - although he has said he doesn't want to know - I guess he's a bit of a traditionalist lol)

I do feel sometimes he is a lacking a little in enthusiasm - but I just remind it that it is his wedding too and the choices should be ours and not just mine.

We try to set aside just half hour a week, just to talk wedding then after we go and see a movie or meet up with friends, so that the wedding is "put away for the week" it doesn't stop me from looking at things during the week and prepping them for the weekend. I guess it does help that the OH works permanent nights lol so I have all the time in the world to research things etc.

Stephanie it isn't as bad as I made that sound reading back! I am ok with the modern style but wouldn't be my first choice so coming up with ideas is a bit of a blank page for me.
I do try to get him involved. He chose our wedding cake and talking through flowers I said what I wanted but that it wasn't possible and he came up with a lovely idea. So he does help but its just that we struggle with the decoration details because that's where we clash. He isn't very creative so he isn't good with coming up with things he likes but knows he likes it when he sees it.

Hehe Emily.
Im going with the whole "like it or lump it" attitude. I know what you mean though, my H2B is quite happy to tell me that things wont match or go together or the fact im up until silly oclock n the morning to wash jars is unessesary but when I ask what he does wnat he just kind of shrugs.

I gave him one more job yesterday, he is a tool maker and so uses the lathe a lot at work. He is now in charge of carving our rings. (They'll be made of wood) :-)

You're not alone. My Hubby left most of it to me. He dealt with the church as that was his idea, paid for stuff when it needed paying for and painted our Mr & Mrs blocks and our fire buckets. Oh, and sorted out the measuring up for the suits. He is a very practical person so he was in his element when it came to painting and sorting out the reception venue the day before the wedding.

My OH has a teeny bit of input before giving up, you are most definitely not alone in this! I try and give him smaller jobs, or I I want his opinion with things, I whittle it down to ones i like and then get him to pick

same here :s he wanted a lego theme which i allowed but has completely left it up to me to try to get it to fit into the day, he wanted a lego cake topper but left it to me to find one/ you arent alone

Oh is not helping with anything tbh. Its making the planning more stressful. The only input hes had was being there when we found a venue we liked and thats the extent of it. Very frustrating but you are not alone and seeing this post makes me realise im not either.

aww nicole sorry to hear this, i would feel the same as you if i was in your situation, sending you big hugs, hope your h2b gets his work situation sorted x