Wedding Forum - I just need to rant where it can't be seen...

I never thought I would need to vent a rant through words but over this weekend I now feel the need!

I am by far a bridezilla, and with bridesmaids throughout the UK I have been very understanding that I cannot see my girls together and in fact even in person. We have done bridesmaid dress trying on through post and pictures and have been discussing shoes, hair etc through the joys of social media. Bank Holiday Monday my MIL bought me to tears (and that takes a lot!) by saying that because I hadn't taken the new bridesmaid dress round to my SIL's it felt that we didn't want her to be bridesmaid (oo sorry for having too much on my mind and just simply forgetting when we went round Easter Sunday, the two previous weekends myself and H2B were poorly). She said "wouldn't it have been nice to get all the bridesmaids together to try on the dress". I'm like don't you think that's what I would love! But it's physically not possible and I there is a possibility I won't even get them all together for my hen do because of people's distance and work commitments.

This really upset me as I have been struggling with having no one (apart from SIL but it's harder to bounce ideas off her) nearby to have girlie shopping days and just bore them with wedding stuff. MIL also said the same to H2B about getting the men to go together to Debs and get measured. she doesn't seem to understand that it's only for sizing and that the trying on comes a week before the wedding, that all bar one will be there for.

And then, on top of this, SIL gets really annoyed that we've invited her father in law (our brother in laws dad and partner). Now we new they weren't on best terms as he doesn't spend time with his grandchildren but more time with his new partner and her grandchildren but it has come to light that it's actually more than that and the new partner has been quite horrible to SIL. Now I've told her that we'll see what we can do, if we knew things were that bad (the family is useless at communication and this has caused problems at least over the 9 years I've been on the seen) we wouldn't have invited him. However if we do un-invite him the repercussions will be on SIL and that's probably worse than them having to see them for the evening do. It's all mind games and I can't cope.

If my family weren't spending thousands of pounds to come over from USA for the day even I would consider going to Cornwall and getting it done in secret but I don't want to know have the day of my dreams because of the H2B family.

SIL has this horrible "hold" on my H2B that whenever she texts his mood drops and it's becoming harder to pick him up. His comment when this all happened was that he can't think of many happy times we've had that haven't been tarnished by his family. This upset me as I thought you got married to continue the good, happy times. Being married won't stop them ruining it, and I just don't want it to affect the day. I said to H2B we wouldn't set a date until he had sorted things with his family. Things have been ok now for just about a year, with the special date set as 10 years to the day we met, I don't want these last three months to tarnish my wedding planning that I'm already stressing over.

Anyway, sorry to rant, I just needed to get it off my chest, somewhere where they wouldn't read it.

Aw I am sorry you are having a rubbish time. Isn't it terrible that such a happy time came raise so many family issues. Our wedding hasn't been without a few either.

Take a big deep breath and let the dust settle, things always seem worse at first. I personally wouldn't say anything to the family I would leave that to OH, could he maybe talk to his dad and explain how you both feel? The last thing you want is to make the situation worse, however it's your day and you should do what you want. xx

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time with OHs family. I think speaking with your OH and them together so you can explain how you feel and that no one will ruin your day. They need to understand what they say upsets you and thats not fair. X

Thanks all, much appreciated.

My oh contacted his sister re an idea for our nephews birthday and all seems OK.

I contacted his mum about going with me and my mum to look for outfits tomorrow and she has said yes and contacted my oh. Fingers crossed its come out in the wash for the time being anyway!

Maybe you should just call her bluff if she's being that awkward. At the end of the day it's your wedding and she will only show herself up if she chooses not to be bridesmaid.

I agree with Elinor and Steph, call her bluff. She seems to be being unreasonable and selfish about everything and doesnt seem to care about being a bridesmaid. Either wear it or don't be a bridesmaid, you dont need the hassle hun.
Also sometimes it feels good to vent, that's what we're here for, to listen and to offer advice!! :-)

Weddings really do bring the worst out in some people, xx