Wedding Forum - How to ask bridesmaids to pay for their...

Also, I'd like my OHs god-daughter to be a flower girl so thats another dress

I would just be open and honest with them. The best you can do is have the conversation and see their response. Best of luck x

why are you having his cousins if you don't realy know them? Your bridemaids should be people you know and trust! If it is all or non then if you don't know the cousins then don't have any of them! just have his little sister and a close friend.

I'm only having 1 bridesmaid and 2 flowergirls mainly to keep costs down but also because for the adult bridesmaids there are so few I trust to the level needed. I'm paying for all the dresses as they are quite expensive but my adult bridemaid has offered to pay for hers

I would just be upfront with them Ellie, say you would love them to be your bridesmaids however you are on a bit of a tight budget and it would therefore be a great help if they could contribute to the cost by buying their own dresses. The most important thing is giving them enough time - make sure they have enough time to save if they need to :-)

Maybe take them out for coffee. Do I remember on a different thread you said that you wanted to meet with them a few times before asking them? Well after you have asked them doesn't mean that has to stop so you could mention it then.

I think up font is the best way, maybe get a few 'cheap' suggestions to put their minds at ease that you don't mean for them to pay £200 each for their dress

I did have a forum about it :)

Tbh I wouldn't even consider a dress that was £200 :P

doesn't mean what has to stop? sorry bit confused xox

You don't have to stop meeting up for coffee :)

Yeah me neither if I'm honest, a bit extortionate!

It's certainly not an unreasonable request. Both times I was bridesmaid I actually made the offer, and first time I ended up wearing a dress that I already owned as it was a perfect match. The second time the dresses we ultimately settled on were cheaper than expected so the bride covered it all, but we paid for the shoes that the bride had picked out for us. I had my bridesmaids wear shoes they already had, as the dresses were down to the floor, so I thought it was better that they were in shoes that they were comfortable with.

As your bridesmaids are closer to your OH would it be worth approaching them with him? With the god-daughter presumably it will be the parents that you have to approach. Just one word of caution, be very careful about cheap dresses from the bay. They can be a bit iffy in quality. Perhaps you could discuss with your bridesmaids what they would be happy to pay for a dress, and then you can look around for things within the agreed budget.

I really want the typical style of bridesmaid dress
the ones on the bay are:



and this pic is from a real wedding with them on:



Considering they're £40 each, they're pretty good, I will order one before ordering them all to see what they are like though xoxo

Yes good idea, they look really pretty :)

I'm my cousin's Maid of Honour and she was just really up front with us all, as others have suggested. Definitely best to mention it at the time of asking as well. She just said I'd really like you to be my bridesmaids etc. however i would have to ask you all to pay for your own dresses because there is just isn't room in our budget, and I'm sorry if that sounds cheeky, and if you can't then I understand but if you can then I'd really love you to be my bridesmaids etc. We all said yes, and she's said no more than £100 for dresses so your £40 is really reasonable.

Most people would buy a new outfit for a wedding they were going to anyway, so it's not really any different. x

Don't go with that company Ellie - we had major problems with them! Went in person, got both bridesmaids down 3.5hr journey, whole weekend off work for all 4 of us and when we turned up at the given address at the correct time, she wasn't in as she has gone out! Phoned, messaged but no answer and when she eventually deigned to reply, she was rude and didn't even bother apologising... We ended up having to traipse the shops all day looking but we found nothing so all that was wasted!!

No worries :) wouldn't want you having the same experience! Considering all the time everyone took off, arranging the appt for us then driving the whole way to her... To not be there just frustrate me, let alone the lack of apology or the 'are you sure you got the right house?' comment we got! Uhhhh, yes of course cos it's the address she gave us! It was a nightmare :( xx

I've paid for BM's dresses and hair accessories, but asked them if they would mind buying their own shoes, jewellery etc. They are quite happy to do so :)

I agree with Toni. Ask them from the start. Maybe say something along the lines of, "I would love you to be my bm, however, due to a lack of funds would you mind paying for your own dress?" not meant to sound as blunt as it reads though! lol

Good plan Ellie. Xx