Wedding Forum - What's peoples thoughts on not having a hen...

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The Big Day > Hen Nights: What's peoples thoughts on not having a hen do?

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- CommentAuthorZaraW17
My stepmum wants to plan my whole hen do and she wants to go to Benidorm on a pub crawl. There's only a few problems with that they are my mum and mother in law to be don't have passports, I don't like drinking as I don't see why people need alcohol to have a good time and she doesn't get on with my Maid of honor, plus myself and my partner have two young children so it would mean leaving our children.She also wants everyone she knows there and no one I really know.
How do I go about telling her that I don't want one?
- CommentAuthorMrs Jones
I think you need to sit down with your step-mum and tell her honestly that it's not really want you want to do. Besides, it shouldn't be about her, it's about you. What do you really want to do? If she wants to go to Benidorm with her friends, then there is nothing to stop her from doing that.

I was a little bit indifferent about a hen party but wanted to do something with family and close friends, so my sister (bridesmaid) has organised a surprise, but said it will be something I will like and is very me.

First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
- CommentAuthorEmily17
Did you ask her to plan it? It sounds as if she has taken it upon herself to arrange it without asking you. If so just politely tell her that you want your MOH or whoever to plan it and that a drinking holiday isn't really what you want.

If you have asked her to plan it then get ideas about what you want or don't want and sit down and discuss it with her. Maybe drag someone else in to help her plan it and keep her feet on the ground so she doesn't get carried away.

Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
- CommentAuthorStephH96
  
  edited
It's great that she's so enthusiastic, but maybe she's living out her own dream hen do through you?
Surely if you explain everything you've said here shell listen and reorganise.
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It sounds like your step-mum just wants an excuse for a boozy holiday in Benidorm. Perhaps you could suggest that she plans that for her next big birthday, so it can be her thing. Your hen do,if you have one, should be about you and should be something you will really enjoy. If you really don't want a hen you shouldn't really feel obliged to have one. Maybe when your OH has his stag do (if he has one) you could just have a girly night with some close friends who won't get drunk.

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

- CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I think you need to sit down and tell her that is not what you want and you would not enjoy it at all. Be firm, this is your hen do, not hers.

Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
- CommentAuthorInDreamland
It does sound to me like she's trying to ignore what you want and just turn it into a holiday for her. I'd tell her straight what you do and don't want, do you even want her to organise it? Traditionally the MOH does it. Has she just taken over?

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
- CommentAuthorRobynL87
  
  edited
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