Wedding Forum - Anyone inviting people they don't even...

Hi everyone , In need of some advice as I'm a absolutely dreading my wedding day ! To cut a VERY long and miserable story short I don't have anything to do with my future mil or her husband ( not my h2b biological dad) . I decided for my own sanity and happiness that I could no longer be involved in her life . This was around a year and a half ago . Since then my h2b and two children have seen her maybe around 4 times so their relationship isn't a close one . She only lives about 5 minutes away and hardly ever makes any effort ... Anyway , I know that it is my partners decision wether to invite her and her husband to the wedding . They currently have fell out ( again ) and haven't spoken since October . They probably will make up though as this isn't the first fall out . My HUGE issue is I'm not a strong character and I get very nervous around people I'm not comfortable with . When I made the decision to cut the her out my life it was very hard for me to do but I just couldn't live with the mind games , control , manipulation & just general nasty behaviour anymore . So, has anyone had to invite someone they don't want at their wedding ? The thought of having to see her a potentially talk to her makes me want to call the whole thing off :-( it's not s big wedding so I can't just avoid her . I want my day to be relaxed and special bit being made to feel uncomfortable and nervous incase she kicks off . How did you deal with the guest ? Did your wedding day go ok? Or have you regretting it ? If I was to be selfish I would not even consider having her there , yes she's my h2b mother but only by blood . She's never been there properly , messed up his childhood , makes hardly any effort now . However , I relapse this isn't my decision :-/ I've told him how I feel and he said " it's my mum , I can't not have her there " . Admittedly, this was before they fell out , but I think they'll make up before the wedding . Please help me feel a bit better about this . Any advice on dealing with her on the day ect ? I want to look forward to my day , not dread it :-( x

Like Flossie says, it's a difficult one as ultimately the decision must rest with your OH as it's his mother. Have you actually spoken to your OH and shared your concerns with him? It might be that if your OH decides to invite her, he will need to have a word with her, but then if she is into mind games she sounds like she will enjoy knowing the power she holds over you. I think the first thing to be would be to have a heart to heart with your OH and take it from there. xx

In that case if you really want a top table, have OH's dad and his new partner (presuming there is one) in place of her at the top table and sit her and her partner on a sweetheart table if she gets along with nobody else. It's your wedding and if she doesn't like it, tough.

Thank you so much for that reply :-) your right she would never let him live it down if she's not invited ! I never thought of it all like that though ! With regards to everyone looking out for me :-) I'll have a word with them all as they all know what's happened anyway. I spoke to h2b last night and at the moment he doesn't want her there . We will see but you've made me look forward to my wedding a lot more . Thanks again everyone ! Xx

Megan, such a horrible position to be in but i really do think you should invite them. If they do make up then it will be forever over his shoulders.
Just make it clear to your bridesmaids/close family that they should come and 'rescue' (would like to use another word but couldn't think of one) you if she tries to talk to you

It is awful when you're faced with that situation.

I had a similar issue when I was forced to invite 81tch cousin to our wedding, she's been a complete c0w b1tch evil nasty person to me and my sister. The whole family know what she's like too but my parents said she still must be invited because she's family, my sister and I both protested but I basically couldn't have a choice. So my sister said she'd basically keep and eye on her on the day if she did come and also keep her out of my way so I didn't have to see her all day, basic it'd be like she wasn't even there. She also said she'd speak to her before the wedding and tell her exactly what would be expected of her. We agreed she'd be sat on a back corner table with her back towards the top table so I couldn't see her face.

Thankfully she said she couldn't make it! Hurrah!

Funny, the night before the wedding she phones my parents house, we're all there aunts, cousins etc having a night before the wedding feast, she says to her mum "I'll come down tomorrow to see you and spend the day with you" she lives in Scotland!

Erm, she is reminded the wedding is "tomorrow" so my aunt, her mum will not be available to see her, her mum flew half way across the world to attend the wedding!

81tch cousin knew what she was doing and the whole family could see through her and what she was trying to do, thankfully it didn't work.

Sorry for my rant but I'm very sore over all the nasty things she's done to my sister and I.

As others have said, if she's invited, sit her well away from the top table and brief the bridal party to keep an eye out and keep her away from you and the first sign of trouble have her expelled from the wedding.