Hey all.. My first post on the forum, but I thought it fitting as me and the fiance were just "arguing" about top table plans (him more so than me).
So my family and list of invitees is very logistically fragmented and as such, he had quite a huge chunk of people he wants to invite that'll all more than likely turn up, whereas I have a smaller group of friends and family where there's a 50/50 chance they might turn up. As a result of this, we've agreed to allow people to simply pick a seat for the church wedding to avoid in the event that a significant amount of my guest can't attend so my "side" of the church doesn't look empty. Equally so, I'd like to avoid a really regimented seating plan for the reception, namely on the top table, where you have family and bridesmaids/groomsmen for the following reasons: - I have no relationship with my real father - my mums divorced from my stepdad - My mum's said some bad things about my fiance and I - My mums ex-husband, who I want to invite and use to consider a father figure is quite inappropriate - My fiances parent's are Christian and his mum a PK - My fiance has his own issues with his dad
With all those things, I think it would jut be easier to have a bride and groom table, family of bride/groom table and a bridesmaids/groomsmen table - albeit all quite close to our table illustrate their important, while breaking old-age traditions to come degree.
My fiance disagrees, loudly...says it would be boring. But I don't see what's boring about that given the circumstances, unless he wants his family to be underrepresented on the table and mine under - which isn't the right optics I think. I mean gosh, my family and his has it's issues, but I don't want to shout about it when we could simply make the event more about our love, which is what it ought to be.
I also think it would be a good idea to have to cake cut from our main table, for all to see and enjoy, when I've often found it hidden away in the corner somewhere. I mean why spend all that money on a cake if no one can see it.
Can yous let me know how you would get around this issue if you were in my position?
EDIT: CATEGORY OF TOPIC CHANGED. PLEASE SELECT A CATEGORY FOR NEW THREADS IN FUTURE. MODERATORS
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Personally in this case I would go for a sweetheart table. We never had the traditional top table, we have seven kids between us so the top table consisted of myself and hubby and the kids.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorEmily17
I would have a sweetheart table. Will be nice to have some time to chat to each other too x
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorStephanieM158
Just you and your hubby. Clearly its sparking a little friction between you and future hubby.... Just have the sweetheart table andet silly things lie. :-) Good luck with planning xx
Met 2004
Engaged 2014
Getting Married 2016
CommentAuthorSharahT
Silly me - must have missed the topic selection, but thanks for everyone who've offered an answer. Sweetheart seems the most appropriate in my mind as well, as I don't want to be sat amidst potential drama. Just need to get J to see it this way as well. :-) I've seen a few people on here who've also gone on to have parents and usual top table party host their own table, which I'm definitely going to take on board as well. I think the bridal party etc. would prob appreciate sitting with their significant others and +1's.
I always wanted the traditional top table but it's a bit awkward for us as both sets of our parents are divorced and re-married/re-partnered, so we effectively have 4 sets of parents between us. We didn't want the steps on the top table, just parents. Whilst they wouldn't have a problem with this arrangement at all and would do what we wanted to make sure we had the perfect day, we just felt it was easier to have a sweetheart top table and let our parents "host" a table each and be able to sit with their respective partners. The more I think about it the more I like the idea as it will give OH and I a chance to catch up with each other and reflect on the day so far - a rare moment between ourselves as we will be so busy throughout the rest of the day!
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I definitely think in this situation the sweetheart is the best option.
Ours was not a traditional top table in the way the British do it but it was traditional for my culture and I'm glad we broke with British convention.
Your wedding your way.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
I agree a sweetheart table is a good idea. My parents are divorced so we had the traditional layout, my Stepdad next to the best man (hubby's brother) and my bridesmaid (half sister) and my Stepmum at the other end next to FIL. I have 3 sisters so they all hosted their own tables. My Sister had both sets of parents, best man and Grans on her top table.
Different things work for different people and there is no harm in 'breaking the rules' to suit you. Good luck :)
CommentAuthorJennK
We had a sweetheart table to avoid any arguments and it was perfect :)
Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3
CommentAuthorclair
Defiantly have a sweet heart table, You will appreciate the time just you and you new Husband :). Xx
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
As our day is going to be 6 in total (including me and groom) we're all going to sit at the same table.
You said your mum is PK. what is PK? Sorry for sounding ignorant!
But I agree with what everyone else has said with the sweetheart table. It just sounds lovely to say "sweetheart table "! It will also give you guys some time to yourselves as weddings can get quite busy! :)
Met 18/09/03
Engaged 06/09/08
Getting married 05/09/17
CommentAuthorChrissyR85
Sweet heart tables are lovely and very intimate. Were not having the traditional top table, as all our parents are separated and remarried. So we are having us, maid of honour, partner and their LO (who is page boy) and then Both best men and their partners. Then our parents will each host a table. At the end of the day its your day, so do what you feel happiest doing.
CommentAuthorCarolH81
We had a sweetheart table it was great and also saved any possible arguments. My BIL gave me away as didn't want step dad doing it and don't speak to my real father. Would of caused heaps of problems. Had my mums table next to me and J's family next to him on separate tables. Worked out really well also meant J and I had a little us time as well. We did go round each table during each meal course to make sure everyone was ok and mingled again after our meal.
